Sunday, September 6, 2009

Unrealistic expectations

This is gonna be a short one because it's midnight and I have GOT to get some sleep, but I do want to throw this out there.......
I have been told on several occasions recently that I might have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating. I was told this by male and female! And at first I was completely thrown for a loop. BUT - through a LOT of talking and soul searching with one of my girlfriends this weekend - I am now beginning to question myself.
DO I HAVE unrealistic expectations??

I'm a pretty simple girl. I'm really easy to make happy. Love, respect, trust, adoration... are those things REALLY that much to expect and ask for?
Yes - I do joke about being high maintenance, and in some respects, maybe I am, because I have waited 33 years to be LOVED! And I guess I do hope that when I FINALLY meet my future husband that there will be fireworks! and I don't mean fireworks all the time, or immediately after the first date, and I don't mean that everything has to be perfect! BUT I do mean I need that feeling in your stomach thats all butterflies and nerves but at the same time - can't wait to hear from him again - kinda feeling!
I know that love and dating is not ALL sunshine, but don't you think that in the beginning - when things are the easiest that there should be some sort of romance and pursuit and I don't know, making plans based on what might make someone else happy?

I was also recently told that "chick flix" are what give women false expectations about dating... I also beg to differ on this point. I DO know that girls get all sappy and teary eyed over movies like "Pretty Woman" and "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Wedding Date" - but I can also tell you - that I don't think that living life as a hooker and having a millionaire falling in love with you is realistic or what women expect. I don't think women expect to pay for a HOT escort for a wedding and the man fall madly in love with them. As much as we love the movies, we KNOW this isn't REAL LIFE.
I WILL say this though : women DO expect a guy to call - ESPECIALLY when they say they will call; women DO expect a guy to make plans that involve them and are all about them from time to time; women DO expect to be treated with respect; women DO expect to be "courted". So sure - we HAVE expectations - but what makes them SO unrealistic????

One of my favorite lines from a movie is from "Wedding Date"
Kat Ellis: You know what pisses me off? I've been spilling my guts all weekend and I don't know a thing about you.
Nick Mercer: [pause] I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met.

I don't "EXPECT" a guy to QUOTE wedding date to me - I don't expect anyone to actually say that they would miss me if we had never met - but I DO expect a man to feel that way about me before I choose to let him in and spend the rest of my life with him.
is that REALLY so unrealistic? :(

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