The journey.... Live Laugh Love

The Superbowl is on.... yeh... blahhhh
It's TERRIBLE

It's gym night..... yeh.... blahhh
The weather is terrible and frankly I don't wanna get out and travel in this mess

So it's just me... chillin at home, in front of the fireplace all warm and toasty and sippin on my lemon water  (cause I am still CARB FREE after all!)
*side note - ask me about THAT diet!!!*
And to be quite honest, I'm rather enjoying the quiet... AND my water  :)

And then I thought - I have not posted in my blog for MONTHS!!!  That's terrible.  I miss my journaling outlet and brain vomits, so here I am ..... with just some random thoughts that I have pondered recently...
because....
This is my 20th year out of high school - TWENTY YEARS!!!!
AND I have a son in COLLEGE!!!  my baby boy.... is in COLLEGE!!!

Time is a funny thing
As you are growing up, you can't wait to be 16, then 18, then 21.... then what?!!  You wish your life away birthday after birthday ... and then we all want time to stop.  But it flies.  It goes soooo fast.  And yet - in my mind it seems like high school really wasn't that long ago.   My parents are still in their 40's in my mind - even though I MYSELF am knocking on the door to 40!  Not logical I know.... but sometimes it just doesn't seem real. 
I have elderly patients tell me almost daily.... "don't get old - it's not all it's cracked up to be.  Everyone calls them the golden years, but I don't know what's so golden about them".

So tonight I sit and ponder over my life's journey.  Cause that is after all what it is all about... the journey.  Sure - as is the case with most of us, sometimes I wish I could go back and do a million things different based on what I know NOW.... but at the same time... I LOVE who I am today.  I love what I have been through.  I love the experiences I have under my belt and the stories I have to tell and the struggles I have fought to overcome.  It makes me strong.
Don't get me wrong... I'm a big ol' softie underneath.  I can cry at a commercial in a second (did y'all see that Budweiser puppy/horse commercial?!  That's what I live for!!) ... but when push comes to shove in this life - I do what I have to do to get through it!!!

My son will be 19 this year.  Like I said, he is a freshman in college... with his first semester under his belt! Yay! (which he didn't flunk which is a BONUS!  ha)   So we've had several conversations lately about life... and it made me think back to things I am thankful for and lessons learned on my journey.  Some the hard way... OK - actually MOST of them the hard way! 

Anyway.... just a few things I think you need to know as you are growing up......   OR if your grown up - maybe just a few things you can look back on and be grateful.

*  The teachers that drove you crazy are the BEST!  When I look back over my school days, there are a handful that stand out more so than others.  These are the ones NO ONE wanted.  The ones that MADE you do homework and graded everything with a fine toothed comb.  They MADE you crazy - but they made you push yourselves.  Be grateful for that.  THEY taught you the most not just about the class, but about YOU and what you are actually capable of!

*  It's ok to not know what you want to be "when you grow up".  You will eventually find yourself and you will just know.  Don't pressure yourself so much that you lose the journey to FINDING yourself!  Enjoy the steps along the way and one day you will stumble into something and within it you will find passion.  Let that lead you.

*  Your friends will be your lifeline.  Sometimes they come from high school and sometimes they don't come till later... in the most unusual way.  Treasure those relationships.  You NEED friends!  Of both sexes!

*  Everyone should work in customer service or food service at some point in life!  I truly believe it's one of the BEST ways to learn how to interact with people, to learn patience, and to learn that as a general rule - PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!!!  lol    Laugh and keep moving.

*  Don't care so much what other people think.  Do YOU!!!  Be YOU!!  And love every bit of you!  You really DON'T need the approval of anyone else.

*  When it comes to love - Don't EVER settle!  Be yourself and not what you think someone will love.  And if anyone EVER asks you WHY they should stay..... Walk away...... NO.... RUN AWAY!!! You NEVER need to convince anyone as to why they should love you.  If they question it, they aren't the right one.  Period.

*  Everyone should live alone.  How else do you learn that your mom will not always be there to take out your trash before you have attracted every rat in the neighborhood!  How else do you learn that there is a point in time when your sheets just aren't safe to sleep on anymore...... they actually HAVE to be washed!  How else do you learn that working is a VERY important aspect in keeping the lights on in your place!

*  Take care of your body!  Exercise.  Lift weights.  If you never have before, start now!  It is so good for you and no one really ever stresses that to you!  It is not only good for you health wise, but it's also a great stress reliever and does wonders for your endorphins.   They say there is no better anti-depressant than exercise.  Just do it.  (speaking of - in case you don't follow me on facebook, I have some GREAT powerlifting updates soon!)

**Most importantly....... enjoy EVERY step of your journey.   It is yours and yours alone.  No ones will be like yours and yours will be like no one elses!!!  Don't rush through the journey... take notes, keep a journal, do some things on a whim and be ready for the repercussions.  There will be bumps and set backs.  There will be days when no one can stop you.  Learn from it all and savor every moment.   Sooner than you think you will be planning YOUR 20 year reunion from high school!!

LIVE.   LAUGH.   LOVE!!!

My pen runs dry sometimes.....

I go through phases where I want to write.......
in fact I NEED to write..... It's so therapeutic!

and then I  LULL again.....
(perhaps that is why I can't keep a faithful following on my blog???)

I want to write - I like to write - I love to share....
(secret fantasy.... I would love to write a book)
I love to pour out my heart and reach out my hands for others.
It's who I am.  It's what I do.

But sometimes... the words just won't come.

So I read.

I open my blog and I find myself reading old blogs and thinking back to where I've been and just like the title of blog.... finding myself today on paths that I never expected.
And I can't write.
It's too much
It's overwhelming.

Like really OVERWHELMING - think about it....
if you could today go back and talk to your 5 year younger self.... what would you say??/

So many pits you could tell yourself to avoid.
So many decisions you might make differently.
AND so many things that I'd wanna say  "OHHHH just wait!!!  It's gonna be GREAT!"

Its so funny and amazing how it all makes sense one day!

In the middle of that journey, in the middle of those valleys you will pass through....
if only you knew how GREAT life would be in 5 years... or 10..... or maybe just in 1!!
If only you could see how those lessons are shaping you and preparing you for what's next!!!

It's fantastic!!!

I LOVE having a blog.....a journal of my life.  There is nothing better than going back and reading something you experienced 3 years ago and smiling because of where you have come since then!!

Sooooo....... over the next few days, I have some of my most popular and inspirational blogs prepared to REpublish!!!!  Some of you may have missed them the first time.  And some of you might just need to read them again!  I know I did!!!

Feel free to be INSPIRED!!!!!!

The layover...

It's prep time for the journey ahead......

So after my last blog, I kinda tucked my tail and walked away from the blog world.
I received many emails and messages asking me to keep writing....
I love writing... and I love you guys!!  So I wanted to still be here...
 
But it was like after I blew off steam and signed off that last blog, I closed the door.
And then... even when I WANTED to come back, I couldn't find the door to get back in.
I couldn't find my way back.
I realized, it was because somewhere in all of that fiasco... I lost ME.
I got lost.
I lost my meaning... my purpose... my desire to share.
I felt like I was stuck.

It's like before.... I had been on a plane with a destination and so much to share on the way.  But my plane stopped for an emergency "turbulence" landing... and somehow I got stuck in a layover.  Losing direction.  Not knowing when I could get back on... or HOW!

But tonight - I had an epiphany.
I got an email that made me sit down and relive what I have been through over the past few years.  And rethink all of the things I have shared.
And I realized..... I have come a LONG way!!!!!!!!

And today - where I sit.... although I have been confused, and felt I had somehow lost myself and lost my way - TODAY I realized...
I am NOT lost.
I have NOT lost my way
I still have direction.
But something HAS changed!!

I read this:
"To be truly victorious, you must grow to the place where you're not afraid of hard times, but are actually challenged by them."

I still have hard days.  I still have days where I don't understand.
The difference is, they don't stop me in my tracks anymore.
I still have bills, and a teenage son (ha ha) and problems that come with every day life.
People will talk... they will always talk.
But what I have realized is  - not me, but GOD is bigger than ALL of that!
And I think I finally have a peace.
A peace that I cannot explain.
But I stopped worrying.
I stopped trying to defend myself to people who I owe nothing to.

I am no longer AFRAID of hard times... I look FORWARD to the challenge!

There are many many goals that I want to accomplish on top of what God has already brought me through.
I will write a new bucket list and hold myself accountable.
But I'm not SCARED of the list.

It's time that I stop during my layover and give thanks for EVERYTHING that God has brought me through.  Not just in the past few weeks, or the past year, or the past two years....... but my God has carried me for YEARS!!!
Many times when I didn't deserve it - he never let me down.
And I stand where I stand today because of that.
I am thankful
and I look forward to what He holds in my future.

And even more importantly - after the email I received tonight - I see HOW God truly does use me on a daily basis and I am very grateful for the person who shared her story with me tonight.  Thank you JR for sharing and being honest with me.  Thank you for reminding me that God uses us all in some way every day.  Thank you for honoring me with your trust... 
Though you may think God doesn't have a purpose in your life and that he can't use you... I am PROOF today - that he is!  :)   So thank you

I will continue to blog - and those who choose can continue to walk along this journey we call life with me.
I make no promises that toes won't get stepped on or that feelings won't get hurt
On your side OR mine!
But I do promise to always be here..... to always be honest.... to always listen when needed and give advice when asked..... and most importantly pray  :)

Be thankful for life's layovers.... when everything is calm and you feel lost and you aren't sure which direction to step or when....
For it is in those times that God is preparing you for something big.
Stop
Listen
Prepare
and Wait..........