Are you CrAzY?!!! Nope. PASSIONATE!

What are you afraid of?

ME?

Nothing!

I've always been the girl that will try anything once. 
I firmly believe that life is to be LIVED.... not just coasted through!
What fun is it to get up and do the same thing day after day with nothing to make your heart race?!!
How do you even know you are ALIVE if you don't push yourself to the edge every now and then???

I've never understood people who don't CRAVE adventure.... people who don't CRAVE to feel that feel of your heart beating out of your chest.... people who never feel a TRUE PURE adrenaline rush....
I don't understand people who just crave the mundane... the ordinary... the lack luster of doing the same thing day in and day out and never wishing for more!!!

It bores me.

Maybe I'm not normal.... or maybe I'm not your normal.  Maybe something is broke inside me.... but I like to KNOW that I've done something awesome.  I like to wake up the next day and think "MAN - I can't believe I did that... it was AWESOME!"

When I die I want to know that I left a mark on this ol' crazy world.

And until then.... when my son thinks about or tells people about his mom.... I want him to have a fire in his soul when he speaks my name.  When my parents tell people about me, I want them to radiate a sense of pride that can hardly be duplicated.  I want them to talk about my FIRE and my PASSION and my FEARLESS spirit.  When Brad introduces me to people, I want to see a LOVE and RESPECT and PASSION in his eyes that can only come from a man willing to LIVE this life as an adventure right beside me.... every.  single.  day!!  I want to be the one my friends call when they come up with a spur of the moment hair brained idea to drive to FL for the weekend!!  Or better yet.... I'll come up with the hair brained idea.... I just want to be surrounded my friends that say "what time are we leaving?".

I want to be GREAT.  I want to INSPIRE.  I want to ENCOURAGE.  I want people to believe in their potential and their greatness!!  I want people to LIVE and enjoy every single day!

Does this make me CRAZY?!!
Maybe!
But I promise you that a day in my life is way more fun than living every day in fear of trying something new.

I might push myself too hard and too close to the edge sometimes... but I never curl up in my bed because I'm scared of failing.

I will not fear FAILURE!!!
I will fight till the end... and IF I fall..... I will simply get back up and try again.  And if I discover that the path I'm on only ends with a dead end... I'll find another path to get to where I'm going.  I do not believe in IMPOSSIBLE.  I only believe that there is more than one way to anything that you think might be POSSIBLE.... the hard part is finding the right path and never giving up.

Sheeeeeeeewwwwww.....
and on that note..... I've got myself all fired up and I'm rambling.

What I want to say is I am 38 years old.  I never really played sports or worked out or cared anything about eating right or lifting weights.  Sure I've done some time in the gym playing like I was doing something... what?.... I'm not sure.   But these past couple of years - I have once again proved to myself that as humans - we are capable of anything we put our minds to!!!

This past weekend I competed in another powerlifting meet.
I trained HARD up to this meet - but even with the training and the planning and everything that went into going into this meet..... I still somehow managed to AMAZE myself!!!
And I LOVE that feeling!!!

I squatted 275 pounds.  Yeh.  I did.   I had a bar with 275 pounds on it ON my back and I did a squat.  And I didn't die!  ha ha
You must understand that when I started lifting weights I couldn't even DO a body weight squat without stumbling.  And then I tried with a broom handle and actually did FALL on my butt!!!
BUT 2 years later - I put 275 pounds on my back and took it for a ride!!!

Don't tell me you can't work out.  Don't tell me you're not strong.  Don't tell me you're weak!
You aren't
Your body IS strong..... you just need to convince your mind of that.
THAT is the hardest battle.

Don't be SCARED... just JUMP!!!
BElieve in YOUrself!

Pick up a barbell.  Sign up at the gym.  Go skydiving.  Go whitewater rafting.  Drive across country.  Dye your hair.  Cut your hair.  Go to work without makeup.  Go a week without shaving your legs.  But a $200 pair of shoes.  Sleep in sexy lingerie.  Make the phone call.  Send the email.  Apply for the job.  Quit your job.  EAT A DONUT!!!!!!

Whatever it is holding you back from the passion that is missing from your life......... KNOCK it in the face, and just DO IT.  Don't let your mind convince you that you are weak or crazy.

LIFE IS FOR LIVING!!!!!!
We are all headed to a tombstone some day..... there will be two dates on it.  But the most IMPORTANT part that you leave behind is what you put in that "dash".  Live your dash with PASSION!!!  That's what people will remember!

Here's a video of my meet this past weekend.
What I did this day... even if it is the last thing I ever do - proved to me that with enough hard work and passion - you CAN do so many things that you never dreamed were possible!

LIVE YOUR DASH!!!!!!!!!

Motivational Monday ~Never settle~

We are all guilty of getting frustrated or feeling defeated. Whether it be in life, in our job, in our past times and hobbies, in our families, in our faith ... whatever it might be, it happens  

Sometimes things don't go as expected or we don't get exactly what we expected and we suddenly become defeated. Saddened. Disappointed. Frozen (No, NOT the movie!!) .... Now what??

What you do next is what defines you as a person. Do you walk away, make excuses and give up??  Or do you fight HARDER from deep within for what you want?!

Where's your GRIT??!!

Look at it like this

My passion is lifting weights.  It takes work and dedication and a belief in myself regarding things that I thought were impossible!!!  But every day I get a little bit stronger and a little more confident!!!

I have good days and bad days as do we all.  But on my bad days, I remind myself I AM human, we all have off days and it's ok. I pick myself up and vow to be better next time!!  Those are the days that PUSH me to be better!!

Recently one of the guys I lift with saw an old squat video of me.  I didn't even remember what the weight was (145 - I looked it up! ha) ... But in comparison to what I do now... It was by all accounts "Baby weight".  He made reference to my chicken legs and we both laughed at what I had on the bar!  NOT to belittle anyone else... but because I have come so far since then!! BUT at the same time... you have to understand that on THAT day... I was strong!!  I was so proud of what I came to do and of the steps I took that day!  Flag nor fail told me to "kill it" that day.  (On Instagram!  I still have that screenshot!  And Rob Bailey may never know how MUCH that meant to me THAT DAY!!!). It meant so much to me.  It pushed me!!  And even though what I squatted is less than some people warm up with, for me it was one more step in the right direction :))

The thing is.... it didn't matter what I squatted that day... not in comparison to what everyone else did anyway.  Not that day!!!  Not for this girl who gets nervous even standing in front of five people, much less an entire room full of people who were markedly stronger than me!!!  What mattered is that I took a chance... I took a step.  I took a leap of faith into something I believe in for so many reasons... and I've never looked back!!!

Sometimes I catch myself getting caught up in what's going on around me and how much she squats or how much she benches.   And I can easily feel defeated.  But then I remind myself of where I've been... how far I've come... and the support and drive I've had behind me the entire journey!  (I have a SUPER supportive boyfriend and a GREAT team to lift with!!)

It's not about where you end up... we all want to hit big numbers and have records... but the important part is the journey.  The steps you took to get to where you are today. The people you've met all the way through.  And today... Are you better than you were yesterday!???  Cause if you are, you are a winner already!!!!  World record or not, no one can take away the character you build by pushing through adversity and always always believing in yourself!

As I said before... this doesn't just pertain to lifting weights, but in life as a whole!   Are you better today than you were yesterday??  When you fall down do you get back up and fight harder?!  Do you set goals for yourself and push through them?

Don't ever give up. Never settle. You can ALWAYS do more than you ever thought was possible

Just keep pushing and believing!!!!

I'm gonna keep on being me.  I'm gonna keep on pushing.  I'll keep motivating and driving anyone who chooses to be a part of my life.  I promise you that :))

Here's just a snippet of how far I've come and how much I've changed.  First video is my squat in Feb of 2013. Second is my squat last night.. May of 2014.  Just over one year of hard work and dedication. I may not squat as much as so-n-so does... BUT you can't deny I'm better today than I was "yesterday"

BElieve in YOUrself!!!

Look at my little tiny legs... and those little tiny weights... 145  ;-)

Now here is my squat from last night...... 240!!!  Best  Squat  Ever!!!  (still getting used to wraps so there is a little riding the squat down... but otherwise, I'm pretty happy with it!! And I can't WAIT to get more!!)

Just do it... BE beautiful!

I read this quote recently...
and it got me to thinking..

Don't talk about me, until you have talked TO me.
Don't underestimate me, until you challenge me.
Don't judge me until you KNOW me.

I love powerlifting.
It's no secret.
I love my job, I love my friends, I love my family, I love powerlifting.
These are the things that make me happy  :)

Today, Brad and I were asked to join in a work out at a gym.  The gentleman that invited us owns the gym and trains there.  I thought we were just going to work out and train with some peeps.  Maybe demonstrate some "heavy" lifts, as this was a starting strength class.  As it turns out, Brad and I actually helped some people work on their deadlifting technique.  Which was quite an honor actually.

BUT for those of you who know me, I'm not a public speaker, so just standing up in front of a crowd and being asked to speak KINDA freaks me out.  So I asked Brad to talk and I would go through the motions and demonstrate.  But even then, as I was standing there, all I could think was "should I even be standing here?"

As I said, I LOVE powerlifting and what I do.  But I guess I just don't feel qualified to be demonstrating or teaching or training or instructing or whatever you wanna call it.  I am honored that we were asked, and I'm humbled by the experience.  But in my head I kept repeating "I'm not worthy"!  I'm not good enough to be standing here!!

I WANT to be someone that people look up to and feel comfortable watching and asking questions!!  But there are sooooo many people out there better and stronger than me.  Again, Im just not worthy!!!

Then I read that quote

And I realized how FAR I have come!!!

No. I'm not THE best out there. No I don't have a set of state or world records in my pocket ( I mean I have Shana Ratcliff, Caitlyn Trout and Stephanie Tomlinson all in MY state!!). 

But YES. I have won meets. Yes I DO train HARD!!! Yes I do have goals and I have come a LONG way from the first day I touched a barbell!!!  (Which was only about two years ago!)

So when I stand in front of people who ask "what can I do!?" rather than feeling inexperienced and inadequate, I need to remember how far I have come!!!

Don't stand back there and talk about me until you have talked to me.  Hear my story... I didn't turn into a powerlifter overnight!  And I may not have records but I AM strong!!!  Challenge me!  Push me!  We all thrive on that!!  Motivate me just as I hope to motivate you!!!

And don't judge me based on someone else's opinion.  Judge me on me alone... when you KNOW me!!

I do hope that I left those ladies with a few tips to help them get stronger.  And I do hope that I made them feel comfortable in knowing that we as women CAN train and be strong and be better for it!!!

I hope that the next time the opportunity presents itself I can feel more confident in who I am and what I do.  Not only in powerlifting, but in life as a whole

We as women are so harsh and judgemental of each other.  This in turn causes us to be unsure and insecure in life

We need to remember.....

A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.

Believe in yourself!!!  BE YOU!!!  Bloom!  That is all that matters.  

You may stand in a field full of weeds or you may stand in a field full of tulips... Regardless, when you bloom, you are beautiful!

I wish strength and beauty upon you all :))

Star struck... bench shirts... and giving back!

Powerlifters are awesome!!! (In case you missed the memo!)

Out of the millions of reasons that I enjoy powerlifting,

 this... 

THIS RIGHT HERE 

is what really defines the sport as AWESOME!!!

I just might have one of the most heart warming stories ever.   For me anyway...
Like seriously....
I might have cried.  Well - OK - I DID cry.  (shocking I know!)

~Shut the front door... Powerlifters don't cry!!~

Backstory:

So weeks ago, Brad and I had tossed around ideas about me getting a bench shirt.
(for non-powerlifting nerds, google "bench shirt". 

"A bench shirt is a stiff supportive shirt, used to improve performance in the bench press, most often in powerlifting competitions.")  
I've never used gear... of any kind... other than a bottom of the line hand me down squat suit in the gym for some overloading.  Never on bench.

But after some browsing around on several sites, Brad came across this BRIGHT PINK SUPER KATANA bench shirt!!!  Sooooo me!!!  Bad-ass and PINK!!!
For those that don't know - the Super Katana multi-ply shirt is a BEAST of a shirt and runs quite expensive.  Being that I have never benched in a shirt, it's not one I would run out and buy first thing.
BUT the one for sale on eBay was well under the face value of one of those shirts!

So I bid on it.

And won.

And after the auction I got an email from the seller.
(here's where the story gets good!)

The POWERLIFTING girl that emailed me has worn this shirt in competitions and has benched a max of 360!!  I was immediately kinda star struck.  And googled her of course.
Her name is Anastassia Tressler
(feel free to google her also!)
Anyway - she sent a very sweet email about the shirt to which I replied that I hoped it would fit and that I had never worn gear before and was so excited to try it out.  (I also confessed to YouTube stalking her!  ha)
*God bless the Internet*
Anyway....
She replied in another super sweet email and wished me luck on my bench.

Now THIS is where the story gets REAL good!

Today I came home from work to a package!  I was so excited to open it and try it on!

When I opened the package, I pulled out this cute little yellow envelope with my name on it.


An invoice? A card? A "nice doing business with you" note maybe/??
Then I pull out that beautiful BRIGHT pink shirt.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
But wait........
There was something else in the package.
I pull out yet ANOTHER bench shirt.  A black one.

Wait..... WHAT?!
I was confused.

So I opened that pretty yellow envelope.
It was a hand written thank you note from Ms. Anastassia.
But it wasn't just any thank you note.
I don't want to type it word for word because I don't want to take away the precious thought behind it OR impose on Ms. Tressler.
But I will give you the gist.

She said that she hopes I LOVE the shirt and that she has also included her VERY FIRST BENCH SHIRT!!  What?!!  It is a single-ply shirt which she advised me to start in before putting on that pretty pink beast!  She went on to say that she had been given so much as a powerlifter and now it's her turn!  *tear*  Seriously!!!!!!!
I mean are there ANY better people out there than powerlifters????

I don't know if you understand what I'm saying here......
Please allow me to re-cap!

I bought a VERY EXPENSIVE AWESOME multi-ply Super Katana bench shirt on eBay for much less than what it's worth.  It was worn by a chick who is a geared powerlifting bad-ass!  She sold it to me and then threw in another shirt, a single ply Katana to start out in.  Which is thoughtful in itself, being that THAT shirt is also a bad-ass shirt and still costs more than what I paid for the other shirt!  But please don't leave out the fact that this is HER OWN PERSONAL VERY FIRST BENCH SHIRT!!!!!!!  *tear*
And then there's the note.  The sweet inspiring motivating note...... telling me to keep in touch and she's expecting big numbers from me!

I'm in awe.
That is all.

Powerlifters are freaking BEASTS and freaking AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have some BIG numbers to live up to!
Can't WAIT to get in the gym tomorrow night........ for my "shoulders" night!  uh hemmm 
maybe not!  ;-)

*sidenote*  I hope she doesn't ask for said shirts back when she realizes what MY raw bench is now!!!  (eeeeek!)   I've got a long way to go and a lot of work to put in!!!!

Every NEW day... is NEW learnin!

As I have grown up... I've gone through many MANY phases!!
Haven't we ALL!!!!
Many things that I hated as a child - I learned to LOVE as an adult.  And vice versa!
Funny how that works.
Many things you took for granted as a kid - you sure do miss as an adult!  (lack of responsibility, no real worries.... and NAPS!  Man I miss NAPS!)

Anyway - almost every child hated SCHOOL growing up... you hated getting up, you hated going, you hated homework, who needs to learn Algebra?!  or about History?!
... really it's that whole tip-toeing into adulthood there that we loathe!!

But never the less, we all grow up and we have to begin to take responsibility for ourselves.  You now have things that YOU have to do... no one can/will do them for you.  Buy a house, buy a car, pay your bills, the list goes on and on.....

One thing that I have learned to LOVE as I've grown up is LEARNING!
the SCHOOL of.... LIFE!
*Let's not even touch on how I must LOVE to learn things the HARD way though!*   sigh....

I always joke about how I know a little bit about a LOT of things..... and this is because I just love to learn about things. (and then I lose interest quickly... I contribute that to my ADD!  lol)
I also for some inherent reason think that I AM capable of doing anything.
I might learn the hard way
I might make mistakes
I might not understand right out of the gate....
BUT
given the time and the patience and a few million grains of salt.....
I eventually figure things out
and THAT is the GREATEST feeling in the world.

I am finding this to be ALL TOO TRUE in powerlifting.

Here is my journey so far in a nutshell.

Day 1 - Didn't want to do it.  Didn't have a CLUE about it and didn't CARE to!
(I just wanted to train for a 6 pack - as does EVERY girl!  well... every girl WANTS one, just maybe not to TRAIN for one!)
Meet 1 - Did a meet with my boyfriend (for his birthday present because that's what he wanted)
HOOKED
The end.
ha ha

Kidding.......
Though that really WAS all it took me to get hooked; my competitive "I can do anything" nature took hold.
And I began REALLY training.... to pick up HEAVY WEIGHTS!!

And in the beginning....... being NEW and all.... it was PR after PR after PR!!!  (aka Pat on the Back, after Pat on the Back, after Pat on the Back... you're AWESOME!)
Guys... that's easy when you've never done a DEADLIFT in your life!!!
But ALAS..... over time...... those easy PR's don't come so EASY.
And I have found myself frustrated and overwhelmed by disappointment in myself.

I struggled so much (and still do) with my bench... my number wasn't going up and I couldn't figure out why.  I trained to get stronger but I still couldn't get the bench number up.  So I focused on form.  And I FINALLY feel better in my form so now it's just GET STRONGER!  (and of course PERFECTING that form I worked so hard on!)
and ...... NOW - I'm struggling with my squat.  I'm at a standstill.  I hit a number in February.....SEVEN MONTHS ago - that I have only hit a couple of times since... and definitely nothing ABOVE that number.  It's very frustrating.  Add on top of that a constant criticism of my form.  I can't seem to sit BACK in my squat!  I'm ashamed to tell you how many times recently I've had to walk away from the bar (in tears) and go "walk it off"!!  (in Tammy terms.... that means CRY!  that's how I show anger and frustration... FRUSTRATION at its finest!)

And then today - I was reminded....... I am doing things I never dreamed I could do!!
I have picked up 300 pounds off the ground (off boxes)   but that's 300 POUNDS!  Are you kidding me?!

Today someone said to me "I've been following your training."  And in just THAT one simple comment - I was reminded ....
I'm STILL LEARNING TOO!!!!!!!!!
And so are others!!!

I also saw something posted by a powerlifting trainer that reminded me... the learning comes over years... not in just a few months.  So much to learn.  So much to improve.  Constant training and learning and bettering myself to come...

I have been powerlifting for LESS than ONE year.   ONE
And although in my MIND I think I am invincible and capable of the IMPOSSIBLE ..... I am not.
There are things that just take time!! patience!  Grrrrrr
I have a TERRIBLE tendency to look online at these girls that lift insanely huge amounts of weights with beautiful form... and then I carry that to the gym with me.
And it's like trying to be a supermodel walking the runway on stilettos without ever wearing a pair of heels before...  it doesn't just happen overnight!


You know how they say life knocks you down and makes you stronger... and if that's the case, I should be able to bench press a BUICK!
Well I think life teaches you lessons EVERY SINGLE DAY and makes you SMARTER!!!  You know how as a kid you thought adults were so stupid and didn't know anything!!!  Well...... I wish I could take the KID version of myself and knock myself over the head with every adult that ever tried to TEACH me anything. You just can't be THAT smart until life has TAUGHT you about LIFE!
Period.


So in conclusion - I have learned alot this week!  About life and the sport of Powerlifting.

I've learned that EVERYTHING takes time and patience...and that's a good thing.  When things are handed to you on a silver platter with no effort, they just don't seem quite as dear to you.

I've learned that when you have a bad day, you should always remember that someone somewhere is watching your every move and comparing themselves to you.  Remember to SHINE!

I've learned that no matter how much you are disappointed in yourself - there is always someone out there that is proud of you and envies something about you.  And that is motivation.

I've learned that getting down on yourself about anything only destroys you and your confidence.  And it's just not worth it.  We all have bad days.

AND - I have learned that just when you think you have NOTHING to give or show for all your hard work, just when you least expect it........ life will SHOW you that everything you have fought for is worth every single minute!!!!!

**I did a mock meet last night..... and without going into much detail, I hit my biggest bench EVER, my biggest deadlift EVER, I matched my highest squat (with some still in the tank - and left it because I've been struggling with my squat), AND I hit my BIGGEST TOTAL EVER!!!**

Life will give you JUST enough to make you stronger...... not KILL YA!  Trust it!

In the words of DRE....... "it was a good day"

REAL is the new BLACK!

The interwebz might just BE the devil!

It's kinda like Hollywood; it's not always real life!!
It's really easy to photoshop that 6-pack and paint on that sunshiny smiley face and fake out some motivational "quotes"!

Maybe I AM too hard on myself...
*OK OK _ I AM too hard on myself*   
BUT I guess that is what has always kept me striving to be better!  STRONGER!  

And at the same time - it can also put me on my knees in a heartbeat!!

I don't NEED anyone else to judge me or criticize me, I do it enough myself!
*which is also probably why I get SOOOO defensive when someone DOES criticize me!*
hmmmmmm - WOW - I just had a revelation there!!!

Anyway......

As many of you know (if you follow me or know me AT ALL)
I am divorced.
The big "D" word!!! 
NOT knocking ANYONE out there who IS divorced... because shit happens.  We all know that.  Sometimes divorce is out of your hands.  It was OUT of mine.  I didn't make the decisions that took me down that road.  Nevertheless, that "D word"... that "check the box"... that "defining" of me STILL bothers me today.   NOT because I was wrong,
And definitely NOT because I'm not happier now that I've ever been!
~I have a guy that is like none other!  He loves me, respects me, is there for me...... he's my best friend!  He makes ME a better person.~
But MORE because I think it makes me feel like I failed at something.  I don't like that.  Period.  It makes me feel damaged.  Broken.  Not worthy.
And I hate that feeling.
I hate that I LET someone make me feel that way.
I know it's up to ME to change that feeling..... but sometimes it gets the best of me.  EVEN when I know I'm better off and that was a road I should have never gone down.  EVEN then... I tend to self inflict that pain and the act of "failing"

(yes yes - I'm twisted  - I KNOW!!!)

Anyway - I have digressed.... here is what I'm getting at.

I get on Instagram and the Interwebz and I see all these girls...... some SMALLER than me... lifting these ridiculously INSANE pounds of weights!! **And it inspires me** 
I go to the gym and I KNOW that it's possible because I've seen it done!  Then I get under a light weight and learn that my form is crap.  I'm not low enough... I'm not sitting back enough... I'm not square enough... my elbows are not where they should be....  I'm not progressing. 
My numbers don't go up.
Am I not working as hard as those girls?
Do I not have what it takes?
Am I NEVER going to get a correct form down?
Will I EVER be someone that people look at and are inspired?

FRUSTRATING!!!

I'm NOT just going through the motions.  I do work hard. 

I work out 4 days a week.... for 3+ hours at a time!!! 
Maybe I should go to seven?

I lift hard when I'm there. 
Maybe it's not hard enough?

So I go... I do what I planned to do as far as my work out goes..... sometimes I even do extra.
But then some nights... it's as though I can't do ANYTHING right. 
I'm NEVER going to feel comfortable. 
I'm never going to feel confident.
Weights are a funny thing like that....
I go in one night not even wanting to be there.... I wanted to stay home.  And I PR on deadlift.
Then I go in another night feeling confident in my squat... only to have the Nazi police yell "LOWER"... and all is crushed.  The confidence I felt is gone.
I immediately feel like I can't get it right.....

{INSERT LIFE}

and the carry over.....
some days....
I feel like I've screwed up there too!

Please don't read this and think I'm just having a PITY PARTY for myself today.
That is not it at all.

I just think we are ALL guilty of getting on the dang INTERWEBZ and seeing people who INSPIRE us......but unfortunately - like the airbrushed people in the magazines - the SUNSHINE and RAINBOWS isn't always REAL!!!!  We have to remember that!
ESPECIALLY us as women!!!
Not just in lifting weights - but in LIFE!

Yes - that girl is "happily" married to HUNKY McDREAMY..... but no-one knows that he beats the crap out of her at night?!!  She puts on a pretty face and we think her world is perfect!  And we wonder why WE can't have HUNKY McDREAMY?

Yes - that tiny little girl lifts more than you and has ABS of STEEL.... but her mom died last year and she still struggles NOT to go home and drink a bottle of vodka every night before bed!  And we wonder how or WHY she spends SO much time in the gym?

We all have battles and daily struggles.  Right?!!

So - sure it's nice to get online and SHINE your beautiful light to inspire girls all around you.
But - let's be real too.
I WANT to inspire people
but I want to be REAL too.
When I'm feeling DOWN and FRUSTRATED - I say I'm down and FRUSTRATED.   I'm not gonna FAKE sunshine to cover up my tears!
I LOVE to lift...
I WANT to be a GREAT powerlifter!! 
I want people to be INSPIRED
But I don't want people to think I just woke up one day and deadlifted 300 pounds!  and it was EASY!
It's NOT!
There are DEFINITELY nights that I feel like I'm wasting my time and I spend more of the night in TEARS than in confident SMILES!!

I want to be OK with being divorced and the decisions I've made!
I want to be OK with slow progress in the gym.
But some days - they get the best of me and I want to punch a car!!
Some days facing those decisions and seeing those failures HURTS..... and I won't pretend that it doesn't..

I want you to believe ANYTHING is possible
But I don't want you to think it's ALWAYS going to be easy.
I will strive to INSPIRE - but I will also always strive to be REAL

Some may see that as WEAK and vulnerable.
I just think it's REAL
and isn't it about time that we ALL got REAL with each other!

Never surrender

My life has been a series of "Never Give Up"'s

I suppose almost everyone can say that in some respect

Some speed bumps are given by life on a silver platter, and some are mere repercussions to decisions made

I look back through the years and it seems like since moving out at 18 - it's been one test of survival after another...

Raising a child... Going back to school... Divorce... Changing careers... Being betrayed... Being lied to... buying my first vehicle... becoming a home owner...
and now.... being a Powerlifter!!
None of these things were/are easy!

Don't get me wrong, there is LOTS of good in life.  I'm not THAT negative to believe that!  And I'm very thankful for that.  But even with the good, it seems there is almost always an underlying challenge screaming... DON'T GIVE UP!

Life's Challenges!

I had another mock meet this weekend. This is basically a powerlifting test to see where your current maxes sit... how much weight can you move when tested?!

Mine did not go so well.
Take a gander.....

And when I say that... Please allow me to put it n perspective without bogging you down in numbers and lingo.  My bench press is always my MOST disappointing lift.  Period.  I toy around with squats, some days better than others.. and I ALWAYS love deadlifts!!  But bench... Oh that dang bench. It sucks the life from me.  To the point of bringing me to tears.  Not "poor me" sad tears... But tears of anger and frustration.  Tears!!  

This usually leaves me with an "I'm too old for this.. new for this... terrible at this" mentality.  

Which is even MORE frustrating

My very first meet was in December of 2012.  I benched 85 (and probably had 90 in me, but jumped to 95 and missed it).  NOW... in September of 2013.... Almost 9 months later... I can get 95. MAYBE 100 on a good day.  That's 10 possibly 15 pounds on a GOOD DAY, added to my bench in 9 months.  TERRIBLE!!!!  Just terrible
It's a terrible return for my investment!

So when I finished Sunday night, I WAS in tears.
YES.  HELL YES I WAS!!!!!

I don't handle failure well.  I just don't.
I believe I can do ANYTHING. And I don't take no for an answer!

So why the CRAP am I crying??!!!

Yeh Tammy.  Why?!

So I wiped my face and though the encouragement and support of friends and getting online to seek advice, I have picked myself up off the ground and set myself upon a new plan. 

What you learn through time... and trial and error - in powerlifting, and LIFE - is what works for you and what doesn't!!!!

I know I'm still learning - I'm still a baby in the powerlifting world

I know I have to get my bench form perfected or its not going to go anywhere.   I have done accessory after accessory exercise, gaining strength with every lift... but without the right form for me, it's just gonna sit there

I have found a new DETERMINATION and MOTIVATION in the gym!  There is a fire in my soul that WILL figure this out and light that bench on fire!!  I will!!

Back to the drawing board with new goals, a new plan, a bigger fire... And my NEVER SETTLE attitude!!!

We have to face life in every aspect in this way.... otherwise life and every challenge you face will simply run you right over!!

So join me in starting this week with a positive NEVER SURRENDER I can accomplish anything mentality.
I will not let an exercise or a person or ANYTHING else get the best of me!

At the edge.... never a DULL moment

Maybe I talk too much
Maybe I say things before first passing them through a filter
Maybe I don't have a filter
Maybe I give my opinion when I should just be quiet
Maybe everyone doesn't WANT to hear MY story
Maybe I talk too much
tell too much
care too much
think other people care too much

But I don't care.
really...
I am who I am
I do what I do

There is no maliciousness is what I do or why I do it.
just me
Never a dull moment!

Foot in mouth or up my butt.
Whatever.

Some time ago I took up a sport that I would have never have imagined for me.
Powerlifting.  YES.
I'm 37 years old.... I'm a MOM....
I drank magnesium citrate this weekend in order to "make weight"...
YES... I'm a POWERLIFTER!
It's not something I would have ever imagined for me.
But it's perfect for me.... it's the epitome of pushing myself to the limit!

I have a mock meet tonight..... and I'm trying REALLY hard not to think about it!

I love the sport.  I do
I love pushing myself to the edge of what my limits appear to hold.

But the TESTING of my limits..... makes me sick.
Makes me nervous
People watching me... judging me... testing me.... makes my stomach flip upside down!!

But I will do it.  Cause I'm supposed to.  It's part of my program.
I'll do it.  I'll push myself and test myself and then I'll either be the happiest girl alive... or I'll punish myself for not being good enough.
It's what I do.
It's how I cope
I am my OWN WORST critic BY FAR!!!  There was a time when I couldn't squat plates (135)   But now I can do that easy... in warm ups.  But surprisingly.... THAT doesn't matter anymore.  What matters is I can't get 185 again... easy!!!  I know I CAN do it.  I should be squatting 200 easy by now.  I should be.
((Here I go again..... rather comparing myself NOW to myself BEFORE.... I tend to compare myself NOW to OTHER people NOW!  And it infuriates me... and DRIVES me to be better right?!!))

Never a dull moment!!!!

I do things that most won't......

Speaking of that....
we visited Waverly Hills this weekend.
Do you know what Waverly Hills is?

it's THIS!!!
an old TB Hospital where they treated people with TB.  People died like in flocks there..... there's even a death tunnel where they rolled them underground and out so that others didn't see the massive number of people DYING!!!!!
Patients were crazy.. and were experimented on....
The place is dubbed (almost) #1 MOST HAUNTED place in America.

We went on a 4 hour tour of the place.

The place IS MASSIVE!!!  You need WAY more time than 4 hours to go through it.
We had a guide that told us stories about some of the deaths there  (suicide, abortion etc.) .... he brought up some shadow apparitions to show us... he had them light up boxes and set off alarms on the boxes and some talked to us through a radio.

We walked that DARK DARK underground death tunnel.  (we turned out all of our lights and stood in the middle... you have never SEEN dark like that!)  We saw bats by the flocks... We saw the morgue.  I laid in a death tray.  (where they laid the dead bodies in the morgue before they rolled them out).  We visited the electro shock room.  It was crazy!!!

I don't know that I'm any MORE or LESS of a believer after the tour....... but it was something I had wanted to do!!!  CHECK

And I also know what a bat looks like up close and personal!!!  And how it feels to have one buzz your head!!  LOL

NEVER a dull moment!!!

Now I must set down the laptop and go prepare myself for this night.... of lifting and breaking PR's!!

I"ll let you guys know later how things go!

Cube Method training ~Week Eight

Training Log - The Cube Method

Preparing for BATTLE...
my Journey in Powerlifting

WEEK EIGHT
(only ONE to go before MOCK MEET!)

My weights are based off my max lifts, whether they be in the gym or in training.

Squat - 185
Bench - 105
Deadlift - 240

Week 8

Week 1 - find it here.. Cube method - Week one
Week 2 - found here...   Cube Method - week two
Week 3 - found here... Cube method - Week Three
Week 4 - here...  Cube Method - Week Four
Week 5 - HERE... Cube Method - Week Five
Week 6 - found here.... Cube Method - week six
Week 7 - find it here.. Cube Method - Week Seven

This - Week EIGHT - is probably one of THE best weeks I have had in my training thus far.  Mentally... By that I mean, I am having fun... I am actually ENJOYING my work outs.  I'm doing stuff I couldn't do before.  I'm getting stronger and I can actually feel it and see it!!  It's crazy!
I mean - before... I could theoretically look back at my old lifts and by the numbers, I could see that I have to be stronger.  Logically.  But through this weeks training - I actually FEEL stronger!  I can do things I NEVER thought I would be able to do!
And for me...... THAT is untouchable!

So here we go.........

Explosive squats
Foam rolling/stretching
Band pull aparts 100
*since I've gone heavy the past few weeks in the squat suit, I decided to truly do explosive work with lighter weight this week.  And it felt GREAT!*
Squat 5 x 2 @ 70%  (125#)
Olympic squat 5 x 5  (2@80#, 3@90#)
Leg extension 4 x 15
Leg curl 3 x 12
KB swings  3 x 15
Plank - 1 minute 45#

Rep bench
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
*once again - I'm banned from the flat bench.... here's hoping this brings up my bench!*
Incline bench - 45 x 5, 55 x 5, 60 x 5, 65 x 3, 70 x 3, 75 x 3, 80 x 3, 85 x 2, 90 x 1.   AND......... it felt so good I decided to see if I could push it.... 95 x 1  *New Rep PR*!!!  If I can hit 95 on incline - I SHOULD be able to hit 100+ EASY on the dad-blame FLATBENCH!!!  right!!??
Incline DB 3 x15 (20#)
Military 3 x 8  (45#)
DB shrugs 3 x 15 (35#, 40#, 45#)  
Band pull downs 4 x 25
Kroc rows 3 x 8 (35#)

Plank 1:30 (25# plate)   *lowered the weight, lengthened the time*

HEAVY Deadlift

Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
*Texas Deadlift Bar * Pulled ALL SUMO tonight to work up heavy off 4" blocks
Deadlift - work up... 135x5, 155 x 3, 185x1, 205 x 1, 225 x 1,  245 x 1, 275 x 1 and 300 x 1!!!
whoooooooo hoooooooooo!!!!
Here's VIDEO!!!

275 went pretty easy... 300 was a bit more a challenge... but good indicator that strength is coming up!!!

Dead sumo 165 x 5 x 3
Deadlift to knees (this is done from the ground with a good pause at the knee before pulling all the way up!)
135 x 3 x 2.... for my last set - I repped it out... felt great.  135 x 12!

Rows 3 x 8 (75#)
SSB Wide Stance squat  60 x 5, 70 x 5, 80 x 5, 90 x 5, 110 x 1, 130 x 1, 140 x 1
Back raises 3 x 15

Bodybuilding Night
Pull aparts 100
Military 25 x 10, 35 x 8, 45 x 8, 60 x 5 x 5, 70 x 1, 80 - FAILED   Grrrrrrrrr
Incline DB  20 x 15, 25 x 10 x 2, 30 x 6
Calf raises 60
"Jose" Leg Extensions   15 bottom half, 15 top half, 5 full.    3 sets

I am now ONE more training week out from my MOCK meet for the Cube.
Feeling pretty good although thinking about that DANG bench still gives me butterflies.  I haven't flat benched in WEEKS... but my overhead press and my incline bench press have both gone up and gotten stronger.... soooooooo - Here's hoping!!
I feel stronger, just hope it SHOWS on the flat bench!

I also sent my baby boy off to college this week.  Everyone was betting I wouldn't make it to the gym for bodybuilding night after spending a day moving my baby boy out.
But I DID!
We got everything moved and got him settled him in and ready for big boy life!!!

(this might be the cleanest his dorm ever looks... with his AWESOME quilt!! )

I did a little blog about him leaving home... you can also check it out here!
Sending my baby off to college



Let's get it started this week.....  Work HARD and prepare for that platform

OHHHHHHHHHH - also......... BONUS!!!!
We competed in an APA meet back in June and they finally got the KY records updated!!!
Look at me..... Holding Records!!!!
just Kentucky records.... and they are not anywhere NEAR some of the other federation records in Kentucky.... but they are on the books none-the-less.... and I am proud!!!
Because LESS than a year ago - those didn't exist!!
It may be small and a loooooong way from BIG - but I am slowly building a "Tammy Green" in the powerlifting world.
I couldn't be more happy!

Cube Method - week Seven

Training Log - The Cube Method

Preparing for BATTLE...
my Journey in Powerlifting

WEEK SEVEN


(as previously stated)  My weights are based off my max lifts, whether they be in the gym or in training.
Squat - 185
Bench - 105
Deadlift - 240


Week 7


Week 1 - find it here.. Cube method - Week one
Week 2 - found here...   Cube Method - week two
Week 3 - found here... Cube method - Week Three
Week 4 - here...  Cube Method - Week Four
Week 5 - HERE... Cube Method - Week Five
Week 6 - found here.... Cube Method - week six

I'm feeling pretty good in my training these days... I have refused to try to TOUCH any singles on the bench for weeks now... Some days it's INSANELY irritating... but my overhead press and my incline DB press is getting bigger... so HOW could I NOT increase on bench?!  Right??  I mean, it makes sense in theory... but for some reason, my bench continues to defy any rationality in reasoning whatsoever!!!
So I just keep pushing on!!!
Squats and deadlifts are coming up little by little, so I'm still making progress overall.
And darnit  - that bench WILL come along!

So here we go.........

Heavy squats

Foam rolling/stretching
Band pull aparts 100

*After playing in the squat suit last week, and it being heavy night, I decided to get back in the suit.  But I did my raw work sets first before going real heavy in the suit.*
Squat - 1 @ 90% (155#); 1 @ 92.5% (160#); 1 @ 95% (165) All without knee wraps!
 MAX EFFORT  1 x 185!!! (with knee wraps!)
*this is the first time I have hit 185 raw since working out at Berea with Lilly... this rep was MUCH needed for my mentality in training!*
{Into squat suit here}   1 x 185, 1 x 205
I was then instructed on my squat form.  I'm not sitting back enough... my legs are not staying upright enough... knees not pushing out enough... etc. etc. etc.
{Off with the squat suit}
I then proceeded to do BOX SQUATS for 1 MILLION reps trying to get improved form....
blahhhhhhhhhh boring 135 box squats!!
I did (I hope) eventually start sitting back a bit more... but I struggle so much with this... it just doesn't feel natural to me... I feel like I'm falling.... and I panic.  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Moved on then to some leg extension   3 x 20
Frustrated... I packed up after that... feeling like my heavy squat night was a BOMB!   even with the 185 squat on the record!

Here is my 205 in gear video   ( I did 225 last week , but shut down this week to work on form )

And HERE is my 185 squat... it's right at parallel, need to work a bit more on depth - but overall - I'm just happy that I FINALLY hit it again!!

Explosive bench
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
*once again - I'm banned from the flat bench.... here's hoping this brings up my bench!*
Incline bench - 45 x 6, 55 x 5, 60 x 5, 65 x 3, 70 x 3, 75 x 3, 80 x 3 (increase my 2 reps to 3 reps this week!)   AND....... 85 x4  *New Rep PR*!!!
Incline DB 3 x15 (20#)
Military 2 x 6, 2 x 8  (45#)
DB shrugs 3 x 15  
Band pull downs 4 x 25
Kroc rows 3 x 8 (35#)

Plank 1 min (45# plate)

Deadlift

Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
*we switched over to the Texas Deadlift Bar last week for the remainder of the cycle*
Deadlift - work up... 95x5(conv) x5 (sumo), 135x3(conv) x3(sumo),185x2 (sumo), 205 x 1 (sumo) 1 (conv), 225 x 1 (sumo),  235 x 2 (sumo) *left some in the tank for a PR*.....

**DEADLIFT - 250 x 1 (SUMO)!!!!  whooooo hoooooo  SUMO and ALL TIME PR!!!  **
 This was my goal for the YEAR!!!  Whaaaaaaa??!!
Time to set a new one!!!
Stick a fork in me here!!!  I'm done.  Pack my bag - it gets no better than that!!!  ha ha
kidding!
moving on.......

Dead sumo 145 x 8 x 3
Leg extension 3 x 15
Rows 3 x 8 (75#)
Stiff leg deads - 3 x 8 (95#)

Check out my WAR WOUNDS from some deadlifting!!!!

Here is video of my 235 x 2

and my SUMO and ALL TIME BEST 250 x 1!!

Bodybuilding Night
*We worked out at a different gym tonight to avoid the drive and to get home to watch some CAPO lifting!*
Calf raises - 75
Plate loaded lat pull downs  3 x 15   (45# plates)
Bicep curls 3 x 20
Tricep skull crushers  3 x 10
Standing DB military press - 3 x 15 (20#)
Leg press machine - 3 x 5 regular stance, 3 x 5 wide stance.... these were heavy weighted and taken very deep!!

TWO weeks out from our MOCK meet for the Cube.
Feeling pretty good although this week of training doesn't look like that much on paper!
I did hit some PR's - but it looks like my accessory work is lacking.
Better hit it HARD next week!!!!

We also spent some time.... ha ha - more like ALL NIGHT LONG watching CAPO Saturday night into Sunday morning!!!  It was SURREAL to watch so I can ONLY imagine what it was like to be there!!!  BIG shout out and CONGRATULATIONS to all the Juggernauts and Animal Pak boys... but ESPECIALLY our BOY - BRANDON LILLY!!!!  He pulled off a phenomenal 2237 pounds!!!  843/579/815

No man I know has more passion, love, belief and heart about powerlifting than this man!
Congrats LILLY - you earned every pound with blood, sweat, tears and SACRIFICE!!

Cube Method - Week Six

Training Log - The Cube Method

Preparing for BATTLE...
my Journey in Powerlifting

WEEK SIX

(as previously stated)  My weights are based off my max lifts, whether they be in the gym or in training.
Squat - 185
Bench - 105
Deadlift - 240

Week 6


Week 1 - you can find it here.. Cube method - Week one
Week 2 - can be found here...   Cube Method - week two
Week 3 - found here... Cube method - Week Three
Week 4 - here...  Cube Method - Week Four
Week 5 - HERE... Cube Method - Week Five

Going into this week - I was really frustrated with my training and gains.  I know to some people, when I tell them my lifts, it sounds impressive.  But to me... I guess I expect too much?  When I look at where I started and where I am now... I feel like I should be better!  YES - I've made gains... but it's not enough!  I'm not satisfied!!!
I know I haven't been lifting for THAT long... and I am thrilled with my gains, don't get me wrong.... but at the same time, I feel like with the hard work and time, I should be better than what my numbers reflect!!!  Just getting really frustrated.... especially with my BENCH gains.... or LACK thereof!!!!!

So here we go.........

Rep squats
Foam rolling/stretching
Band pull aparts 100

*So when I got to the gym, Travis, one of the guys we work out with, brought in an old Inzer squat suit of his.  His TINY squat suit... that he wore a few pounds ago.  They thought it would be a good idea for me to try it out.  Now I don't know who made squat suits or if they INTENDED a woman's HIPS to fit in there... but trust me - it was not an easy feat!!!  But somehow I got in it!!!  Had alot of fun once I got it on.  For more details about my squat suit lifting... check out THIS BLOG, about ALL that junk.... in my truck (HAHAHA) with more detail!!!
So moving on to my lifts!!!*



Squat IN SQUAT SUIT!!  135 x 6,  155 x 6,  185 x 2,  200 x 1,  225 x 1  (My max raw is 185, so THIS was awesome to have on my back!!)
Took the suit off after this and continued with my regularly scheduled program!
Squat (raw)  1 x 6 @ 80% (135#) NO knee wraps

SSB Olympic squats 3 x 8 (80#)
SSB Good Mornings 3 x 8 (80#)
Leg Extension 3 x15

Plank - 1 min (+45# plate)

*This whole squat suit thing was a much needed mood enhancer for me!  Felt pretty good after this night and it's technically HEAVY squat night next week so.... maybe I can play again!*

Here's a couple videos!!!  Cause I was excited.... and maybe a bit proud!!

This is 185 x 2

 

This is 225 for one!!!!  MOST I've tried to squat!!!

Heavy bench
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
*once again - I'm banned from the flat bench.... here's hoping this brings up my bench!*
Incline bench - 45 x 6, 55 x 5, 60 x 4, 65 x 2, 70 x 2, 75 x 2, 80 x 2, 85 x 2
Incline DB 2 x15
Military 3 x 12
DB shrugs 3 x 15  
Band pull downs 4 x 20
Kroc rows 3 x 8 (35#)

Plank 1 min (45# plate)

Deadlift
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
*we switched over to the Texas Deadlift Bar this week for the remainder of the cycle*
Deadlift - work up... 95x5(conv) x5 (sumo), 135x3(conv) x3(sumo),185x2 (sumo), 205 x 3 (sumo), 225 x 1 (sumo).  Failed 245 and 235 sumo.  I thought my HIPS would explode!  OUCH!!!
Dead sumo 125 x 10 x 3  (sumo)
Power Cleans with the small bar + 25's.  3 x 3
Rows 55 x 8 x 3
Leg extension 3 x 15

Here's some SUMO reps.... My hips were KILLIN which you can clearly tell after I finish my reps in this video!

Bodybuilding Night
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100

**Once again, focusing on that upper body!**

Military - 25 x 8, 35 x 8, 45 x 8, 55 x 5 x 5, 65 x 1, 75 x 1  (75 is most I have done on overhead).  Tried to hit 80 and just missed it!
Incline DB  20# x 15, 25# x 10 x 2, 30 x 5
Calf Raises 60
DB Bicep Hammers  3 x 8
Tricep skull crushers 3 x 15
Leg extension 3 x 20 (25#)
Front squat holds with 135 x 2, 95 x 2 (held it longer!)
Plank (with 25# plate)  1 min.  *Just used 25 instead of 45 here since I did other ab work, amazing how much lighter that 25 felt after doing 45 plates!  crazy!

Felt a little better after my training this week........
We are THREE weeks out from another MOCK meet for the Cube Method.
I'm really going to push my upper body work for the next few weeks and HOPE I can make some pretty big gains there.   I'm also hoping that getting used to having heavier weight on my back with the suit will give me more confidence on my squat!   Deadlift.... well switching to Sumo pulls can go either way.... UP or down?!  Only time will tell!

A side note...... if you are looking for a good protein bar .... B-rad has been hearing RAVE reviews on the Quest bars.  We picked up a few and this white chocolate raspberry bar is TO DIE FOR!!!!!!
Check it out!
YUM YUM YUM!!!!!!!!

Cube Method - Week Five

Training Log - The Cube Method

Preparing for BATTLE...
my Journey in Powerlifting

WEEK FIVE
We ended this training week with a trip to Holiday World.  Some much needed family time with my baby boy before he starts college in the fall... and my B-rad and D and brothers and sister-in-laws and kids that I feel like I hardly ever do anything fun with anymore!!!
Weather was GREAT and we had a fabulous day!!
Hopefully all those coasters got my spine back into alignment!!  HA HA!

(as previously stated)  My weights are based off my max lifts, whether they be in the gym or in training.
Squat - 185
Bench - 105
Deadlift - 240

Week 5


Week 1 - you can find it here.... Cube method - Week one
Week 2 - can be found here...   Cube Method - week two
Week 3 - found here... Cube method - Week Three
Week 4 - here...  Cube Method - Week Four

Explosive squats
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
Squat 6 x 2 @ 65% (115#) NO knee wraps  125 x 2 with knee wraps
Reverse band - 205 x 2
SSB Olympic squats 5 x 5 (80#)

Leg Extension 3 x15
Leg curl 3 x 12
KB swings 3 x 15
Plank - 1 min (+45# plate)
*This was not one of my better squat nights.... feeling kinda frustrated and beat up... lacking motivation*

Here is a video of my reverse band squats....

Rep bench
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
Flat bench 3 x 6 @ 80% (85#)  65 x 15, 65 x 10, 65 x 7
Incline DB 2 x 20
Close grip 3 x 12
Standing DB Military 3 x 12  

Band Pressdown 100
Band Fly 3 x 15
Plank 1 min (45# plate)

Deadlift
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
work up to a heavy weight 95x5(conv) x5 (sumo), 135x3(conv) x3(sumo),185x2 (sumo), 205 x 1 (sumo)
Dead sumo 195 x 1 x 3  (conv)
Stiff Leg Dead  95 x 8 x 3
Rows 55 x 8 x 3
Lat pull downs 3 x 15
Leg curls  3 x 12
*I was feeling pretty beat up after this night... didn't hit what I hit last week on sumo for a max*

Bodybuilding Night
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100

**Because my bench SUCKS and seems to be going NOWHERE fast... we have decided to focus my bench night AND bodybuilding night on my chest, shoulders and upper body mostly... hoping this will give me SOME KIND of gains on my bench.  Really pushing my overhead press and DB incline bench**

Military - 25 x 8, 35 x 8, 45 x 8, 55 x 5 x 3, 60 x 3, 65 x 2, 70 x 1  (70 is most I have done on overhead)
Incline DB  20# x 15, 25# x 10 x 2, 30 x 6
Calf Raises 60
DB Bicep 10 x 15 x 3
Tricep pressdown 100
Leg extension 3 x 20 (25#)
Plank (with 45# plate)  1 min

I don't have any video from the rest of the week - but I DID proceed to act like a fool on bodybuilding night.  Cause B-rad is slow as Christmas working out... so I usually spend some time at the end of our bodybuilding night entertaining myself.
So I played out some yoga moves!!! ha ha
Here's a pic of my sweet move!!!  ha ha
I also tried to one leg squat a kettle bell.... still working on that one!!!!

Overall I feel like this week of training BOMBED.  Sure some goals were reached but many were not... I'm getting frustrated.