I am STRONG.
I am independent.
I am hard headed.
I am stubborn.
I am determined.
I am DRIVEN.
I am focused.
I believe that everything God has brought me through, is to make me all of those things!
I believe that every fall along the way has made me tougher.
It's made me WISER.
And it's always serves to remind me that HE has a plan for me that is bigger than anything I could have ever planned on my own!
I like fast cars.
I want a jeep so I can take the top off and let my hair blow in the wind!
I like lifting heavy things.
I can leave the house without makeup on and not care!
I don't mind to get dirty.
I like to sweat!
I am a FREE spirit.
I don't want to answer to anyone.
I believe there is NO limit to what you can do when you put your mind to it.
I like to dress up and hang out with my girls - but I also like to throw on a bandanna and jump on a four-wheeler and ride around all day long and get sweaty and muddy and not even care what I look like!
but SOMETIMES.... some days...
I fall to my knees (for good reason)
Sometimes I am weak.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed.
Sometimes when it seems that all is going well - it's only because I am forced to remember to focus UP!
Today has been one of those days.
Tonight was supposed to be a gym night for me. And not even a HARD night.....
We are taking it easy this week since we just competed last weekend.
We will start lifting heavy again next week as we start back with Week 1 of The Cube again.
But this week... little by little... day by day ... for several reasons - I've been humbled.
Sometimes I can't even run and hide from it in the gym.
Sometimes I just need to sit alone. Here with my laptop and FREAK OUTreflect.
Plan. And go over and over and OVER things....
And... well - relive the day and what's going on and refocus on where I am going from here.
Without going into a lot of detail - just know that sometimes my hard outer tough shell serves to protect and hide the weak spirit that is thriving inside.
Don't freak out - NOTHING traumatic has occurred - life is good and I really have SO much to be thankful for and really NOTHING to complain about.
and LOTS to be thankful for.... did I mention that?! LOTS!
I just have alot on my plate today... alot of change, alot of worry, alot of directional planning... and although most days I can walk along and carry all of that - sometimes it just gets a little heavy.
(Reminder: When the weight of the world is on your shoulders.... SQUAT IT!!! ha)
Tomorrow I will arise and me and God will take on the day and all will be well
What is your obsession?
your passion?
Where's your loyalty?
your commitment?
What's the freaking difference??
When is enough... enough?
I have had so many people tell me I'm crazy. I've had people tell me I'm over the top. I've had people tell me I'm extreme. and... obsessed! People laugh and make jokes about me flexin... (oh trust me.... when I CAN, and I WILL be able to.. impressively ... you can bet your BUTT that I will be!)
Anyway.... It's cool.
Maybe you DO think it's too much... maybe you DO think I'm gonna end up like the chick in that pic!!??
Maybe?
maybe you actually believe that!??
But you don't know.
You don't know that what I do is not an obsession... it IS however a PASSION. It IS something you have to be committed to and LOYAL to! It is something that requires giving up certain things.
And it is a game of being educated about what you do!!!
No one wakes up one morning and just walks into a gym and picks up 500 pound barbells off the ground. No one wakes up one morning and looks like the chick in that picture (or WANTS to! :-p ha ha)
what you DO wake up to is the DESIRE to be better.
The desire to win.
The desire to fight and not give up.
The desire to be stronger
The desire to be better today than you were yesterday.j
You wake up.... PASSIONATE!!! (ok - maybe you don't actually WAKE UP that way... well... I don't anyway - cause I don't wake up ANYTHING.... I barely wake up at all!) ha ha
but once I'm up for a bit.... LOOK OUT!
I'm all about some passion! :))
When I started lifting, I had no idea what a "deadlift" even was....
And the only squatting I had ever done did not involve much weight - and if it did involve any weight, it sure wasn't sitting on my back trying to knock me over. I threw my hands out in front of me to balance....
And you want me to hold WHAT... WHERE???
How am I supposed to hold a barbell on my back AND balance myself with my hands out in front??
And benching....... what a joke? I had never been under a bench press EVER!! I thought guys stood around in the gym comparing... ummmmm .... the size of their.... TRUCKS!! or BENCH?!! :)
So why would I.... a GIRL wanna bench press???
Oh how things change in a year....
And it's funny how passion grows where passion didn't exist before?
It's amazing the things that your body is capable of... and we sit around having NO IDEA!!!!
We were sitting at home (before gym time) last night watching Extreme Weight Loss. I don't know how many of you have ever seen that or even care...... but it seriously blows my mind.
It blows my mind that we are literally capable of soooooo much more than we do!!
I watched a set of twins last night drop hundreds of pounds between the two of them.
I watched dedication and commitment and a DESIRE to better themselves!!
yes....... I used the word "better"
Maybe that is politically UNcorrect....
but facts are facts. Let's face it.
At over 300 pounds... imagine what you are doing to your body every day. You work every muscle so much harder. Your organs have to work harder. And your body will wear out. Sooner than later.
So it's not so much about the vanity of it all.... but the passion to be a better YOU!!!
Why is that so hard for people to understand?
After watching this show, we headed off to the gym... fired up for bench night.
For those of you who have read anything I have written about working out - bench has been my nemesis. I had tried and tried to break the 100 barrier forever it felt like. Weeks ago I went to Berea to train with the infamous Brandon Lilly. And I DID break that barrier.
But it was weeks ago..... months ago....
And I was kinda freaking out because I hadn't done it again since then.
Well last night - on rep night.... after set after set of reps - I shot for that 100 again.
AND I GOT IT!!!!!!
And you may be rolling your eyes right now... thinking who cares? or you may be thinking 100 pounds... big whoop... that's nothing!!!
But you see.... I care and it IS a big deal to me.
It is living proof that I am better today than I was when I started in this sport.
It IS living proof that hard work and dedication DO pay off.
It IS living proof that I can keep getting better.
It is living proof that lifting heavy weights WON'T kill me or "break my back" or "make me old"...
It is PROOF that I TRAIN...... not just work out.
It is PROOF that I can ALWAYS be better!
So can you!!!!!
If you had told me at that meet I competed at less than 6 months ago that I could bench 105, that I could deadlift 230, or that I would ever EVER be able to squat a bar... much less 185 pounds, I most definitely would have thought you crazy!!!
So am I crazy? Maybe, but that was there before powerlifting!
Am I obsessed? Maybe... and maybe you should be too!
Am I committed? YES - is that a crime?
Am I loyal? YES. You have to be
Am I EVER going to look like that SHEman in that picture??????
Thankfully no!
I can lift like a beast and still look like a lady!
Now what's YOUR excuse?
Here's my 100 bench.... I will do that and then some June 15th!
And just for fun... this is 95 pounds for 3.... watch that last one - I downshifted one time! ha ha
Posts
