LOVE does exist! (and so do I!)

Hey Hey to everyone!!!
I'm still here!!!
Oh I have missed writing....
but I've been busy, oh so busy....

doing little things.... like.... getting a second job (taking call at night)
Busy watching some NCAA basketball (GO UNC!!!)....
Busy with my son starting baseball season and preparing for that....

OH!!!! and busy........oh I don't know.......

FALLING in LOVE
and GETTING ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!

YEP!
That's right!
Just happened.... and I thought....
HELLO - what better reason to get back to my blog!  ;-)

And I wanna throw some NUMBERS at ya....
(while your picking your jaw up off the ground!)

"officially" I have been divorced 3 months....
separated for 5 months...
but the fire was gone from my marriage LONG before that.
I was married for BARELY over 1 year.

I have known my NOW fiance for..... ready for this....  under 3 months.
How many of you are freaking out right now??!!
(show of hands!)

Do you think people look at me as the "crazy" girl.... running from one marriage right into another?  Or the "crazy" girl marrying a man I hardly know!??
thoughts???

Well - ok - nevermind.  Whatever you think about the numbers....  Let it go!
I have never......
and I DO mean NEVER... been treated with so much respect and adoration by a man in my life!

Are there little things that I might not know yet?
And still lots more to learn.....??
SURE.
But in all honesty - you can say that after knowing someone for years.

What I do know is that I have never been so happy and treated so GREAT in all my life!
yeah - I know I said that before.....
But what I can tell you for sure is this:

My eyes have been re-opened to a world that I used to believe in!!!
Unfortunately, until now, I had let myself be convinced that it wasn't reality!

To all of you single girls out there...... who BELIEVE in true love and BELIEVE that there is a man who WILL treat you like a princess and adore your every trait...
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!!!
I have a man who is actually EXCITED to marry me!
I have a man who actually WANTS to take care of me!
I have a man who is interested in my life AND my son's life!
I have a man who loves the good about me and - believe it or not - loves the bad ;-)
 soooooo.....
- DON'T settle for less than that.
Don't settle for a man telling you "this is as good as it gets" when you just need to feel loved.
Don't settle for a man who doesn't just stand by during the good - but also works through the bad!
Don't settle for a man telling you that passion fades the day you say I DO - that's just life.
Don't settle for a man who puts anyone or anything before you and your relationship/marriage.
Don't EVER settle for someone who doesn't tell you and show you every day that he loves you!!!

Don't ever stop believing and giving every bit that you have to offer - to a man who really deserves it!

So while some might call me CRAZY - I call me LUCKY.
VERY lucky...
(and I'm pretty sure that anyone who's met Joe and been around us, will call me lucky too!)
I'm blessed to be a living example that even when things seem bad and don't make sense, there will be a day when you look back and realize - things happen for a reason.... the good AND what seems like the bad!!

I am one HAPPY and LUCKY LUCKY girl!!!!!!!!
True selfless passionate undying love is out there - to give AND to receive!!!  :)

Never stop believing and NEVER settle for less!

~Motivational Monday~ A Womans Prayer

A Woman’s Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should’ve been with my heart.

From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands.

I now commit my heart into your hands for safe-keeping.

Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what You desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart.

I invite you to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me.

Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding.

I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice.

In Jesus Name,

AMEN

the heart is a mystery...

My momma tells me I'm too open - she says I share too much.  Now granted - there are some things that I WON'T share.  Some things that hurt TOO bad.  Some things that would completely blow you away.... and those things...  Well - they aren't for blogs.  They may be used in person when a friend is in need.... but they aren't for blogs.

I do have a little tiny filter!  ha ha

However, for the most part, I say that sharing life experience is how we teach each other.

My most recent blog may have well been one more example of that.

I read over and over it and to me, there is nothing offensive contained.  It's truth.  It's how I feel.  It's raw emotion.

Yes, I can see that it might be taken personal.   Yes, I can see that it might hurt to see in writing - how do you think it felt to TYPE it and LIVE it?!

If the shoe doesn't fit people - don't wear it.   And if your ashamed of your actions, don't do them!  That's kindergarden knowledge!

So anyway - I try very hard to write and re-read with friends and family in mind.  So as not to offend or expose OR make anyone think I think any less of them.  I don't.  Of anyone....

Sure sometimes I'm sad.  And sometimes I'm angry.  YES - angry.  But I release steam here and I move on.  My emotions never change my true feelings... they just keep them in check!  ;-)   

And remember this - when I blow steam, it means I am probably making an effort to pray more for you than myself - but how does that hurt?  There are lots of people out there that have hurt,offended or stepped on me or someone I love.  I hate none of them.  That's just not how I'm made.  It's not what I believe in.  I pray for them.  I don't pray because I pity them.  I pray because when you walk through life with not a care for any one but yourself, I pray that God might show you that life with him in His will, not shutting everyone who loves you out - is so much easier.

I can lay my head down at night and rest easy for I know that as long as I'm living in God's will and going where He leads me, the rest is not on me.

So - while I may say things that people judge or take resentment to - all I can say is I'm sorry for that.   Because at the same time.... I'm receiving emails from people saying "Thank you for saying what you said" and "I so needed to read this today".  And for that reason - I know God gives me the love and heart and words that he gives me to share with those I know personally and those I know through blogging and sometimes, even with those whom I don't even know.

And the beauty in that is - when you touch people through words, and you give God control of your life and stop trying to run everything the way YOU believe it should be run, and you love and trust and believe - guess what?!!  God sends people to YOU with the words that YOU need to hear!

So am I too open?  Do I share too much?  Do I expect too much?

NOPE

I'm just as open and honest and caring and loving as God made me.   And trust me when I say, what you live and give - is also what you will receive!

I AM blessed in so many ways.

I can POUR my heart out in an instant to help someone else.  And God always sends me someone to pour theirs out right back.

And he has FILLED my life with loving caring family and friends.

I am BLESSED

The Ride

There were times when the ride was smooth.
There were times when I closed my eyes and climbed a few small hills.
And sometimes I held my breath and threw my hands up and climbed monstrous mountains
There were times when it was fun and there was nowhere else I'd rather be.
But there were times I was plummeting to the ground and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
There were times when I was twisted and confused and didn't know up from down anymore.
There were definitely times when I just wanted to get off that roller coaster.
But I chose it. I PICKED IT!   I waited like a kid in a candy shop to get on that ride.  I waited and hand picked which ride to take.  And in the end.... it threw me off.

But that's life.

Times of laughter.
Times of tears.
Times with goals and times with fears.
A roller coaster.
A roller coaster of feelings
A roller coaster of emotions
A roller coaster of plans
A roller coaster of expectations
It's life.  A roller coaster.  It's how we all live.

But now that portion of the ride has ended.  And I got off just to get on another ride.  I know life is almost always a roller coaster - but it's different now.  It's just me again.   It's on me.  Whether I'm upside down or floating smoothly along.  I don't even know where it's going anymore.  Every morning when I wake up now, I have to make a choice.  I know that this is MY journey now... no longer "ours".  No one is sitting beside me holding my hand.   But no one is pushing me down either.  So I will wake up every day and hop in my seat and whatever life hands me that day, I will try my best to enjoy this ride and not wish to be back on that STUPID coaster that just broke me.
An emotional roller coaster - that is what I'm on.
So please pardon me as I cry my eyes out one day, and the next rip someone to shreds!

~Follow Friday~ and a little bit about me!!

Welcome to a SPECIAL edition of Friday Follow celebration hosted by One 2 Try, Hearts Make Families and Midday Escapades! We invite you to join us every Friday to get more blog followers and to follow other interesting blogs. It is all about sharing and having fun.

They are having a GREAT giveaway right now - so run over and visit them and play along.

Also - link up and see if you can add some more followers!!

Welcome to my humble abode.  If you have been here once or been here 100 times OR never ever been here before... 

**WELCOME** 

It's been a crazy hectic up and down kind of week around here.....with work, with friends, with personal life - so I have never been so glad to say "Thank Goodness it's FRIDAY""

I hope you will hang out here for a bit, browse around and get to know me.  My biggest hope is that something you find around this place will touch you in some way....  make you smile, make you laugh, make you cry... whatever it may be - I just hope you enjoy  :)

For your reading entertainment - I have linked a few of my favorite posts below!!

Choose one or choose them all, but again - my biggest goal with my blog is simply to be real and hopefully bring a little sunshine, joy or insight from my life experiences into someone else's life!

**ENJOY**

and thanks for coming by and spending your Friday with me!

There is no fear in love, but ♥ PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT FEAR ♥ . For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18

My heart - my gift   (a little post about me....and my heart)

Love vs. IN Love  (my opinion of true love)

Stupid stupid BOYS  (a little ranting about MEN!  LOL)

Dance Dance EVOLUTION  (introducing my crazy, off the wall, SPECIAL family)

The joys of raising a boy 
WTF embarassing MOM!
(these TWO will have you rolling - a little about being a single mom to a teenage BOY!)

Men are from MARS!  (just a little insight on men vs. women)

I could do a bunch more - but I must stop myself!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

Men ARE from MaRs - WE are the sane ones!!!

{I originally posted this last night - but then I was told *cough cough* REALIZED that it might have come off a bit harsh.... so please allow me to explain}
After dating many different types of men and watching my friends go through many different sorts of break ups and heart aches and just stupid stupid fights... I feel that I am somewhat of an expert  (experienced ASS HAT as Daffy would say!!  muahhh) on just exactly HOW DIFFERENT men and women ARE!!!!!!!!
I mean - it's a wonder that ANYONE ever gets married and even MORE of a miracle that anyone STAYS married!  I mean REALLY!!??

You know my friends and I have had talk after talk after talk about how great we are as women. When we as women love - we love hard. It's how we're built. We just LOVE hard.....now granted - it's hard to GET US to love......but once we do, we give it our all.  We are built that way.  We don't "half-ass" anything.   {{ROAR!}}

Now granted, coming out of the gate we are cold and closed off and ...... yes.......I admit it..... a wee bit blunt, honest and well.....just plain out bitchy!!!

BUT - (listen up guys) with women - here's the secret.
Once you have us - you HAVE US.
Period.
Once we open the door, and we let you in.... you have us.
But make note - the thing is.....once that door is OPEN and we're IN - women change.
YES I said it!!!! WE CHANGE!!!!!!!
but GUESS WHAT....
We change for the BETTER.
WE love you MORE and our lives become about you..... there is nothing that makes us happier than to feel needed and wanted so we try to help, and we try to be there and we learn all your hobbies and your interests and suddenly they become interests of ours too!  We have hopes and dreams and visions of our future together.....It's just what we do.

We are WOMEN - and we FREAKING ROCK!!!!!!!!
RIGHT?!!!

Ladies ladies ladies.......
WHY do we do this?????
because - here's the TWIST!!!!!!
once we change...
Men change too!
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT - they have now gone from pursuing us and loving us and "liking what we like" to NOW suddenly not having time for "our stuff" anymore. Suddenly there are a million things going on in their lives and our stuff and the pursuit just isn't interesting anymore.

The tables have turned.
THIS is what we call DATING???????????

Word to the wise boys......we LOVE you - we will NOT STOP loving you - but we NEED TO KNOW you still WANT us!  Once we let ourselves fall for you - we need to know our loyalty and love doesn't go unanswered.
This is where one of the differences in men and women comes into play.

Men get comfortable (which for them is a good thing)  They quit trying to impress, they quit opening doors, they quit ... well - for lack of better words.... they quit TRYING.
Women however, once we are comfortable, we revolve EVERYTHING around our man.  Schedules, work, fun stuff (which is usually what HE does for fun).  We literally become like our man's very own little cheerleaders. 
*NOTE - I am NOT for one second suggesting or condoning losing our OWN identities.  You must still maintain other friendships and interests.  I'm not pressing you to that extreme.  Just pointing out that EVEN in our OWN lives... friendships... activities, our man is SOMEHOW incorporated.  BECAUSE WE LOVE HARD......and OPEN and HONESTLY.  ALL THE TIME.
The problem ensues when we KEEP ON loving and trying and building and growing (not because we HAVE to - but because we are women and we are genetically programmed to WANT to make happy those we love) but at the same time, our MEN have grown comfortably numb at ease.  So they quit trying and impressing.  NOT because they quit loving (sometimes) but more because that's how THEY love.  (BLAH)  So as women, we feel like we are doing all the work and getting nothing in return.
So we eventually shut down.

Imagine this.......you are building a house......it's the best house EVAH... it's free and it makes you smile and all you have to do is show up every day and do just a little bit of work on it.  You show up day after day after day, but every day when you show up - it seems the work you did the day before is somehow undone.  No worries though.... you're happy and you LOVE this house and you have SUCH BIG DREAMS and HOPES for the future.  So you keep showing up and you keep working and building.  Days, weeks, months go by and you keep showing up.  But one day, months or maybe even years later, you arrive and you realize, all your work is getting you nowhere.  YOu love that house and you REALLY want it - but somehow your work is going un-noticed and in vain.   So one day... maybe you show up.... but you just don't really feel like doing much work.  You piddle around and you look at that house and all it's potential... but - ehhhh - it's just not worth it anymore. 
Then one day, you just stop showing up!

This is what we do to our relationships.
Not just in dating - but in marriage too!   One of us builds, the other one just goes along on the ride.  Eventually that worker is gonna stop building.
Then what?
You never really fell OUT of love.......you just GAVE UP on love and quit trying.
men because you get comfortable.
and women because we work in vain.

I tell you all of this as a simple reminder.....
in a relationship or in a marriage - I CHALLENGE you as women, to keep doing the work.  Love hard.  If you know your man loves you, do the work.  It ultimately IS what makes us happy.
But MEN - I challenge you to do some work yourselves.  Don't just sit around getting comfortable assuming that we know you appreciate us and we KNOW you are happy.  We do need you to tell us.  We aren't mind readers either ;-)

And ultimately - we need to remember to be prepared to accept.....if it isn't worth the WORK - then HE isn't worth your time!

**sidenote:  I did write this from a women's point of view - it is possible for the roles to be reversed.  Just sayin......  Sometimes women can be pretty harsh and sometimes the man becomes the one doing all the work that goes unnoticed.

I recently ran across this list of things to look out for. A list of things or ways to KNOW that this is not the man (OR woman) for you.
I thought I would share it - first of all to all the singles as a warning; a list of ways to KNOW you are with the wrong person OR maybe the right person at the wrong time. But regardless.... a simple list of things to know it's time to move on.

"your building IN VAIN"

1. You have a list of things he needs to stop doing/saying/wearing if he wants your relationship to work. If you're fixating on his flaws, he's either not the one you want or you're not ready for a serious relationship. Cutting him loose allows you time to grow and gives you the opportunity to meet a guy whose flaws you can embrace -- or at least accept. (KNOW that you will have to grow old with this person if you intend to spend the rest of your lives together......if you are judging him now, what will you judge him on 50 years from now?)

2. You don't trust him. A small dose of jealousy can be healthy, but if you're hacking into his email account, and going berserk when he goes out without you, something's wrong. If there's something about him that truly warrants your distrust, then perhaps he's not the right one for you. (and the worst part about this one is there ARE guys (and women) out there that will PUSH your buttons to MAKE YOU crazy jealous... they intentionally PUSH US to question their every move......I think that is an insecurity issue!)

3. You avoid conflict at any cost. Fighting is healthy. And, when done right (in the non-accusatory, rational sort of way), it can be a great way to air grievances, fix problems in your relationship, and come to a deeper understanding of each other. Ignoring problems is not the same as having no problems at all... even if it looks that way, it will never FEEL that way. (Ignoring problems or even worse, not feeling comfortable enough to be HONEST to talk about your problems and about how you are feeling or what is bothering you will ultimately drive you crazy! If even one of you doesn't take things seriously.....no problem will ever be really solved.)

4. When you're sad, you don't turn to him for comfort. When you're a giant ball of tears and snot, do you lock yourself into the bathroom so he can't see you at your worst? Or do you run to someone else? If you're worried about scaring him away, one of you isn't ready for total commitment. Mr. Right should make you smile through your tears and be a calming, not stressful, presence, NOT someone who makes you feel stupid or guilty for feeling the way you feel.

5. One of you is struggling with an addiction. He's sweet. He's exciting. He loves you very much. But he loves his alcohol habit or his weekly gambling fix more. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can change him or that your relationship will be strong enough to withstand the heartache that addiction will inevitably bring. An addict may be able to change, but he'll do so on his own terms.

6. You can't really imagine him as the father of your children. Ask yourself: Would he make a great parent? Is he financially responsible? Would he be an equal partner in your future together? If you have doubts, he's probably not the one.

7. Your long-term, non-negotiable goals in life are incompatible. You want kids; he doesn't. You go to church every week; he's an atheist. He lives in the country and doesn't want to move; you can't imagine ever leaving the city. Superficial differences can be overcome, but differences in basic values are harder to smooth over. Ask yourself: "Would I be willing to compromise on this?" If the answer is absolutely not, you may not be right for each other. (Ladies - DON'T compromise on WHO YOU ARE!!!!!!!! There will be a man who loves you for YOU. He won't try to change you and he won't make you feel inferior for what you believe or how you were raised or whatever you consider your flaws or weaknesses to be....he should embrace them and love them, just as you should love his. and IF you can't.... walk away!)

8. You don't respect each other. He puts you down in front of your friends and complains about you to his parents. You roll your eyes when he talks because there's just something about him that embarrasses you. A relationship without respect can't sustain itself. (If he doesn't respect you from day 1 - THIS WILL NOT CHANGE! And without RESPECT, you have nothing. You must look at each other with grateful thankful trusting respectful eyes.... if you don't look at each other in that light. Move on. And ladies, trust me - you can not truly HAVE respect for a man who treats you with NO respect. Don't fight it and don't keep trying!)

9. You're not attracted to him. Physical intimacy is a hugely important component of a romantic relationship. If he doesn't do it for you, he's probably not your best long-term match. (need I say more?!)

10. On paper he seems great, but you have this strange feeling... Don't ignore your gut. You may get along on a superficial level, but if your instincts are telling you he's not the one for you, listen. That little voice inside your head does not lie. (doubts = something is not right. Period)

I said all of this to say this:

Ladies - don't sell yourself short. Don't date a man just to date a man, and more importantly, once you are dating a man and you have doubts or questions.... talk about it with him. If you can't talk to him or its something that you don't want to or can't compromise on, then walk away. And if he isn't willing to TALK about it - and I mean really talk and care and not blow it off or make jokes - he isn't worth your time.
We deserve a prince.
We deserve to be treated with love, respect and adoration.....
and if you aren't getting it after 6 months - you SURE won't be getting it after 6 years.
We preach this all day long to our girlfriends - but sometimes, we forget to preach it to ourselves!!

And guys - if you meet a girl that rocks your world. Don't take her for granted. Don't change and suddenly put us on the backburner because I promise you - there is a point where we will shut down. And there is no going back. there IS a point of no return. We may sell ourselves short and stick around for a while, but the love and adoration and respect will gradually fade.

We ARE breakable.