Friday, October 28, 2011

The Ride

There were times when the ride was smooth.
There were times when I closed my eyes and climbed a few small hills.
And sometimes I held my breath and threw my hands up and climbed monstrous mountains
There were times when it was fun and there was nowhere else I'd rather be.
But there were times I was plummeting to the ground and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
There were times when I was twisted and confused and didn't know up from down anymore.
There were definitely times when I just wanted to get off that roller coaster.
But I chose it. I PICKED IT!   I waited like a kid in a candy shop to get on that ride.  I waited and hand picked which ride to take.  And in the end.... it threw me off.

But that's life.

Times of laughter.
Times of tears.
Times with goals and times with fears.
A roller coaster.
A roller coaster of feelings
A roller coaster of emotions
A roller coaster of plans
A roller coaster of expectations
It's life.  A roller coaster.  It's how we all live.

But now that portion of the ride has ended.  And I got off just to get on another ride.  I know life is almost always a roller coaster - but it's different now.  It's just me again.   It's on me.  Whether I'm upside down or floating smoothly along.  I don't even know where it's going anymore.  Every morning when I wake up now, I have to make a choice.  I know that this is MY journey now... no longer "ours".  No one is sitting beside me holding my hand.   But no one is pushing me down either.  So I will wake up every day and hop in my seat and whatever life hands me that day, I will try my best to enjoy this ride and not wish to be back on that STUPID coaster that just broke me.
An emotional roller coaster - that is what I'm on.
So please pardon me as I cry my eyes out one day, and the next rip someone to shreds!


Stacey said...

Are you telling us what I think you are telling us?

leigh said...

This doesn't sound good...I'm sorry.

Ink Spiller said...

Is OK...

Cora said...

I like your take on it all. Relationships really ARE like carnival rides. Some are absolutely thrilling, while others make you completely sick!

You don't know which is which until you get on the ride, unfortunately. But here's hoping your next ride is a much better one.

Ninnie said...