Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The joys of raising a boy mixed in with a little payback!

So - I was visiting ol' MOOOOOOG yesterday and he had this post about how he hates his teenagers (who aren't even teenagers yet!) and I told him - I have a few funny stories to tell about my teenager.
some COOL things for ya to look forward to Mooooooog!!!  {{HUGS}}

The bonus is ....... 

single MOM

raising a teenage BOY!!!!!!!!!

(uhhhhh hummmm....)

some things...well.......some things are just more appropriate from guy to guy.  But what choice do I have?!  so you can only imagine....we have had some pretty (cough...cough...choke...) awkward moments.....

Also - one in particular RECENTLY where I got a big ol' TASTE of that sweet little thing that my mother cursed me with called "payback"... or some of you may lovingly refer to it as "karma"!!  (and for anyone of you that are breathing... you know JUST what karma is......a BEEEEYAAAAATCH!!!!)

So - here we go...

just the other day...I received this adorable little package of tampons in the mail.  Some sort of sample by mail addressed to "Jane Doe OR current resident".  Well - who doesn't love free stuff in the mail......especially when it's TAMPONS in CLEAR plastic for all the world to see!  So my lovely child was all torn up cause I got them out of the mailbox while he was in the vehicle with me.  (awkward)   So we go inside and I go straight to the bathroom.  You must first understand that my bathroom is quite small.  You have to shut the bathroom door in order to get to the closet behind it.   So I go into the bathroom and push the door to.  As I did, my child yells from the living room.......
"Gosh mom.....are you going to get your period????"
AS IF I can just choose to go to the bathroom and get my period cause I got some new "cool" tampons in the mail
{Insert awkward conversation regarding Aunt Flo and her schedule of when she visits}

Another time......we were out of town for a baseball tourney.  I told the boy he could have a few friends stay with him and we would get a hotel room and stay another night.  Ya know - cool mom - let the boys hang out run around at the hotel, knock on peoples doors, roll down the flights of steps... sing campfire songs etc... those sorts of things.  Well - I had taken this big huge bowl of candy to the room.  Boy goes to the bathroom, comes out.  I look up and see a buldge.....in his shorts  :(   I immediately think he has STACKED his pockets full of candy trying to sneak it out of the room.... so what does mom do?!!!  I say (very loudly mind you)  "WHAT is in your pants?"   Boy looks up, looks down, adjusts.... and says  "huh?... nothin mom!"  (also keep in mind his friends are in the hotel room too, in the other part of the hotel room, but within earshot easily)  So I say again..... Geeeeeeez... get a grip mom!  "WHAT is in your pants?"  Poor baby boy looks up and says......  "GOSH MOM........IT'S MY PRIVATES!!!!!!!!"
{Insert red face and me yelling GOOOOOOO - just GO....get out of the room!}
The entire rest of the night and next day, his buddies kept saying  "hey Zack, what's in your pants?"
REAL nice mom!!!!!!
{{I despise silk basketball shorts!!}}

yeah - ok - so that's enough EMBARASSING stories for the day.......
(Lord he will KILL me if he reads this blog!!!!!!!)

So here's a nice little kick in the butt KARMA story for ya......
for all those times when you were a kid and you did things that you thought would NEVER come back to haunt you.....HA!!!!!!  Have a child and THINK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

A while back, the child is IN TROUBLE.  I mean BIG TROUBLE!  He is grounded from LIFE!  He has called me at work, we are going round and round... grades, attitude, irresponsibility!!!  You NAME it!  I mean - I have grounded him for a MONTH!!!!!  longest time EVER!!!! 
I was VERY VERY unhappy!!
So I get off work on this day.... and walk into my front door.  The child is no where to be found.  I think he's in bed because usually when he's in trouble and can't do anything - he will just go to bed!
OH NO - he's NOT in bed........I looked upstairs, outside, all over the house......  NO WHERE!
So I call his cell phone.

Conversation goes like this:

Me:  WHERE are you?

Boy:  playing basketball

Me:  WHERE

Boy:  up at keriakes (it's a park up the street)

Me:  are you SERIOUS?????

Boy:  yup.

Me:  I cannot BELIEVE you went up there.  you KNOW you are grounded.  What the HELL were you THINKING?????????????

Boy:  I was thinking I wanted to play basketball and I was already in trouble anyway!

............................................................................................................
..................................................................................................
...................uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............................................

me:  get your butt home RIGHT NOW!

{{{CLICK}}}

The irony is.......during my silence, I flashed back to a time when I was younger and sneaking out of my house.  As my friend and I were pulling out of the driveway, the porch light came on. 
I KNEW I was busted. 
I looked at my friend and said "well GO!  I'm gonna be in trouble anyway!"

OUCH!!!!

KARMA!!!

GOOD LUCK MOOOOOOOOOOOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you got LOTS coming back to ya  *wink wink*

8 comments:

Stacey said...

I don't know what you are talking about. I never did anything like this!

Thats my story, and I'm stickin' to it!

zack said...

WOW!!! I'm never reading your blogs again!!! As if it wasn't hard enough already experiencing these stories!!!

Meeko Fabulous said...

OMFG!!! That candy in the shorts story is an effing classic!!! I about peed myself! My mom tried to have "the talk" with me . . . after I had already done "the deed" . . . Did I mention I was 18 when she tried to have "the talk"???

MommaPebz said...

My daughter is only 6, but I'm scared crapless about whats to come in her teenage years based on how I was haha!

Candice said...

You are SO screwed. ;)

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Just passing by to say hi!
I'm on mend.
B xx

Moooooog35 said...

You didn't know that was a boner?

Um..

How long have you been single? jesus.

Working Mommy said...

Yikes...I can't even BEGIN to imagine waht you are going through!! In time things will get better...and you both will grow to love each others' quirks :)