Thursday, May 27, 2010

Hello...God... are you there?!

I recently found a new friend!
I got a visit from Chantelle at The Fabulous Life on yesterday's post of pouring my heart out.
Gosh Chantelle - I'm sorry that my first post you visited seemed to be so down.
That really was not my intent.
I did spend some time pouring out MY heart and when all was said and done, I realized how SAD it sounded  (if you missed it - find it HERE - Who I Am?)
I DO have a Godly man in my life and I DO love him with everything I have.  I pray for him and for US daily.  It just makes me sad and frustrated sometimes to look around, not just in my relationship but in all those around me that seem to lose sight of the "LOVE".... they lose sight of the things they fell in love with in the first place... bills, and jobs, and life becomes more important and they (we) lose each other.
It just breaks a little inside me.
Cause I'm the free spirit girl that "lives on love"
I'm the "love conquers all" girl.
I AM the starry eyed, found the man of my dreams, holding hands, leaving love notes, LOVE to kiss, spontaneous, I am "complete" girl.
but sometimes.....I find myself caught up and lost in life and fallen by the wayside....and I feel broken.  And my spirit and starry eyes disappear.  And it's just easier to believe in myself... because no one lives on love....really.  Do they?!  {{sniff sniff}}

OK - TOOOOOOTALLY sidetracked.
The subject of my post today is based on Chantelles pouring her heart out yesterday.  If you missed her post - please go read it.

To answer all your questions Chantelle - this is how I feel.

Do I believe in God?  YES - Absolutely!  (maybe sometime soon I will share my testimony here... I have contemplated it before... but maybe it is time)

YES - I believe in salvation.  I believe that you have to believe in God, you have to trust in him, you have to BELIEVE that Jesus came and died on a cross for you and for me.  This is fact.  This is history.  THIS we know to be true.  Right?!  I believe that accepting that in your heart is what gets to you to heaven.  NOT all the "good works" you do - which in turn also means that "bad things" that you do DONT keep you from heaven.  NOT that I'm saying you can run around killing people and still be living a Christian life.  What I'm saying is.......with God in your heart, you shouldn't have desires to live like the world.  Oh - you will - we are HUMAN.  Like I said yesterday....God gave us free will and we WILL make mistakes (Lord, don't you know I have made mine)  But the beauty of living as a Christian is when you do those things, you will KNOW you did wrong.  You will be convicted in your OWN heart and you will seek forgiveness.  And you will hopefully turn from those things.  CONTINUING to do what you KNOW is wrong and you KNOW you are being convicted about - THAT is when we get in trouble.  ;-)

Yes - I do believe we are punished.  I do believe that blessings are with-held when we are wrong, and KNOW we are wrong.  I don't however believe that God turns his back on us as christians EVER.  He will not condemn you to hell for making a mistake.  WE ARE NOT PERFECT and I will never pretend to be.
I AM a work in progress... I have potential - and I work every day towards better serving Him and being a better witness for Him.

*Here is where things get sticky for me... and sadly for others....*

There are people out there that are "OVER-churched"
There are people who will TELL YOU you are wrong for how you live and that you are going to hell etc etc.  THEY are not your Father in Heaven.  THEY have no right to "judge".  If you are doing wrong, God will speak to YOU.  And I believe if God instructs another Christian to speak to you about what you are doing, that is one thing -  God will give them the words to talk lovingly to you.  But to blatantly come to you and tell you that you are going to I said - they are not your JUDGE.
And unfortunately - this turns people away from Christianity.

However, I have to agree with the FIL (not that you are going to hell for believing in gay marriage) but I do believe if you are not a Christian... if you have not accepted Christ into your heart... then yes sadly, the Bible says, your eternity will be spent in hell.  And I do NOT say that in judgement, I say that only because that is what I believe the bible teaches.  Cheating does not condemn you to hell... it IS wrong, but it does not condemn you to hell.  But that does NOT by any means make what SHE does or continues to do RIGHT in any way......and she will suffer for her wrong doings.  She will also have to answer for those things at the pearly gates  ;-)

Pray for me.... Speak to me if God lays it on your heart....  But do it in private and lovingly - NOT as though you  are my judge.  Christians are NOT perfect and those who run around pretending they are - are just wrong.  {but I promise, not ALL Christians are that way... some of us are real}

I will tell you this......I WAS raised my entire life in a very conservative Baptist church. I consider myself to lean towards the more liberal conservative side.   I had GREAT church friends and a great childhood.  But as I grew older, through high school (this is in my testimony) I strayed from God.  I was still a Christian, but the "world" became more enticing and I rebelled.  I lived a long time outside of the will of God.  But here's the thing.....looking back now, God knew my heart and he knew he lived there AND HE NEVER LEFT ME.... sure I had moments where I knew I was wrong, I FELT one had to "tell me"....but coming back to God is a scary thing.  And it shouldn't be.
but it is our own guilt that is scary....not God.

God is NOT a vengeful God.  He does not want to hurt us.  He only wants us to love him and put him first and live a life that reflects him. 
God took care of me when I was outside of his will.  I look back and I honestly can't tell you how or why I'm still here.......OTHER THAN God has a plan for me.  He took care of me when I had no one else.  My bills were paid, my child was taken care of and I honestly can tell you - through God is the ONLY way that could have happened, because on paper, it just doesn't make sense.

I definitely don't want to shove God or religion down your throat or anyone elses.  But it breaks my heart to know the things that people said to you Chantelle.  THAT is not the God I know.

The God I know put his hand on me and protected me when I was living a life that did not glorify him.  He was in my heart and there he stayed and he was there when I finally turned and realized I DID need Him and only HIM in my life.

The God I know took a man I know who is an alcoholic, and helped him set the bottle down and walk away.  This man still plays music in local hang outs, but no longer drinks while there.  He now plays music at church also.

The God I know took a man I know who was on the brink of hell...full of self loathing and guilt and insecurity and SHOWED him through others' eyes what a GREAT man he is and that God DOES have a plan for him.

The God I know held the hand of a very dear friend of mine recently while he watched his grandfather pass away... he gave him peace in knowing heaven is now a better place with his grand dad there.

The God I know reminds me EVERY DAY that HE has a plan bigger and better than anything I could try to set in motion myself.

I could go on and on about the miracles I have personally witnessed in not just MY life but all those around me.
I think your husband is right.  I think if you spend some time in the will help you understand.  Your relationship or choice to live a life with God in it is yours and yours alone.  No one can make you believe (nor should they try), no one can make you understand and no one can put the feeling of peace that you will have with Him into words.

As for your children,  I say YES on the book.  YES let the children learn and have the choice to believe.  We are instructed to have child like faith and by letting your children read and learn, you may be surprised at what you will learn "through the eyes of a child"

And like one comment says, you can believe in God, have faith and have a relationship with God.   But the way you worship and the relationship you have with God is up to you and God.  PERIOD.  No one else.

As for you Chantelle and with anyone that reads this blog... I am here.  If you have questions or want to know more.... post questions OR feel free to email me.  I'm an open book.   and like I said - I am a work in progress but I am willing to share what I can when I can along the path I travel  :-)

**Also - I did NOT post this blog to IMPOSE my feelings on anyone else......I do believe in God and everything he has done in my life - and ANY time I get the opportunity to share that...I will.  It is NOT intended to offend anyone else.... these are strictly MY beliefs!**


Chantele said...

I love this, and I love you for posting this!

Thank you. Christians like you make me want to learn about God and religion. And I'm going to. I called a non-denominational church this morning and we'll be attending in a few weeks when my husband returns; I've been without faith long enough.

Oh, and yes, he's a Boxer. :)

Stacey said...

Great post! You feel the same exact way I do. Too many people want to blame God for human mistakes, and their mistakes have nothing to do with God. Too many people think that Christians are perfect, as well as some Christians try to portray themselves as perfect, and that is so not true. You and I should talk more!