Friday, November 4, 2011

When the hurt becomes a memory

You know how I'll know when I'm healing?
.... when the hurt becomes a memory.

There are days when I am walking along, not thinking about anything
and out of nowhere it hits me.
That gut wrenching, heart stopping pain
shot straight through my soul.
And there is no stopping it.
The tears just flow.

There are days I talk & talk till I'm blue in the face
and I'm mad and confused and just plain sick
And then there it is again...
That earth shocking,  indignant pain
shot straight through my soul.
And there is no stopping it.
The rage just flows.

There are nights when I toss and turn, and sleep can't be found
and I'm lonely, lost and defeated and nowhere to be found.
But there it is again
That aching disappointment and loathing despair
shot straight through my soul.
And there is no stopping it
The contempt just flows.

There are entire days and nights when I pray and I beg
full of  faith hope and dreams and only "what if"
But there it is once again
That impairing reality and crushing defeat
shot straight through my soul.
And there is no stopping it
The revulsion just flows.

But one day soon I know
there will be days and nights followed by weeks and months
that are not full of impairing contempt and not full of pain
But instead full of a life, of accomplishments and love
and that hurt will no doubt turn into a memory instead
that shoots straight though my soul.
And there will be no stopping it
When the happiness and joy once again begin to flow

How do I know I'm healing?
.... because I have hope - that the hurt will soon enough be just an old memory

2 comments:

Ink Spiller said...

You know, obviously, that the pain will end. In the mean time I will keep you in my thoughts in the hope that it somehow helps you get through this.

You're a great lady Tami, don't ever lose sight of that!

Cora said...

That's truly beautiful. Hope is a very powerful thing.