There were times through out my life when I strayed from what I was taught. Times that I spread my wings and tried to walk on my own. And that I did. But the wonderful thing is... that foundation I was raised with, always brought me back around.
I grew up. I made mistakes. I rebelled. I did wrong. I did some right too... but for the most part, I did what I wanted to do... what I thought was right. I had to learn things the hard way. What can I say?! It's how I've always learned... the hard way.
Now, I'm an adult. I know what I was taught. I know how I raised. I know from experience that bad decisions or decisions that are not thought through will sometimes come back to haunt you. It's that funny thing we call life. Sometimes they are decisions I make, and sometimes they are decisions that are made for me. But even when the decision is made FOR me... I still have to decide how to handle and deal with that decision. And I'm thankful for my upbringing and my foundation because I know right from wrong. I know up from down. I know because I always pray and ask, what would God have me do here? Now I think not what I want, but what God wants... when I'm at a crossroad and I'm forced to deal with something, I now have the withstanding to step back and think... what would God have me do?
Here's where things get confusing.... and this may be a little deep for some.
One of the fundamentals in my foundation and religion is this.... (I do realize there are VERY different opinions on this) I have always been raised to believe once saved always saved. That once you have that transformation and ask Jesus into your heart, that is where he resides. Forever. Sure I believe that you can stray... you can mess up... heck, we are a people in a world full of sin. Being saved doesn't make you perfect. It makes NO ONE perfect. We ALL mess up. But I believe with God in your heart and knowing that you have professed your faith in him, that there will be a PULL in your heart as you are walking down that dark path that tugs at your heart... your conscious... Jesus in your heart beckoning you all the while that you are following YOUR will and not God's will.
Here's where things are beginning to get a little fuzzy for me these days.
Do you believe that there is a point where that salvation is lost? I have had conversations with several people recently. About my recent circumstances and about other situations happening all around me. And although I have always stood strong on my belief and that foundation.... I have been reading and researching recently and I now wonder... is there a point where you cross a line and your no longer in favor of God. Is there a point where your name is no longer written in the book of life? Is there a point where you have completely turned your back and God and that gift of salvation and you have committed the unpardonable sin of blasphemy? Is there a point where your testimony is no longer a testimony? Is there a point where you are walking down a road blatantly doing YOUR will and trying to fix YOUR life on YOUR own and God's will is no longer a factor?
And if you go down that road... if you still profess to be a Christian but you live a life that shows nothing but pride and self preservation and SELF will that you have turned your back so far to the point where you become more a hinderence to God's will rather than a testimony?
And when you reach that point... are you really truly saved? Are you truly heaven bound?
Ironically, after these recent conversations and insight - I read my daily devotion today. And this is what it said....
THE CHANGED LIFE
"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17)
What understanding do you have of the salvation of your soul? The work of salvation means that in your real life things are dramatically changed. You no longer look at things in the same way. Your desires are new and the old things have lost their power to attract you. One of the tests for determining if the work of salvation in your life is genuine is - has God changed the things that really matter to you? If you still yearn for the old things, it is absurd to talk about being born from above - you are deceiving yourself. If you are born again, the Spirit of God makes the change very evident in your real life and thought. And when a crisis comes, you are the most amazed person on earth at the wonderful difference there is in you. There is no possibility of imagining that you did it. It is this complete and amazing change that is the very evidence that you are saved.
What difference has my salvation and sanctification made? For instance, can I stand in the light of 1 Corinthians 13, or do I squirm and evade the issue: True salvation, worked out in me by the Holy Spirit frees me completely. And as long as I "walk in the light as He is in the light" (1 John 1:7), God sees nothing to rebuke because His life is working itself into every detailed part of my being, not on the conscious level, but even deeper than my consciousness. ~Oswald Chambers~
If you no longer have that pull? If you no longer feel the need to do God's will - but are instead focused on YOUR WILL and YOU fixing things and paying for your mistakes.... are you walking in the light anymore? If you continually ignore that pull in your heart and continually turn your back on the God you accepted in your heart, do you feel like at some point you become more of a hindrance to God's plan than a testimony? Does your testimony just become blasphemous? And if it is - do you believe that is the unpardonable sin that removes your name from the book of life?