Being a grown up SUX!

I don't WANT to grow up!!

I hate making responsible decisions.
I hate it
Can I go back to being... Oh I don't know, 16??!  So I can drive but still let someone else be responsible?  And someone else can pay the bills and make decisions... that way when they are bad decisions - I can blame someone else!!!  Yes - perfect!

Why were we all in such a dang hurry to grow up anyway??

My plans were to drive to OH this weekend to the Arnold. I wanna meet Dana Linn Bailey. Did I mention that?!!
So I entered that contest and if you won, the training with her would be Monday the 4th. Right after "Arnold".
the perfect... irresponsible weekend

But alas.... I did not win

I knew the odds were slim
612 people entered

But it still hurts. 

It's still disappointing

To lose

To know someone was more "motivational" to work out with than you...

Blahhhhhh

What?!!  I'm not bitter!

sigh.........

So, in my disappointment, I thought, I don't have the extra money to run off to OH for the weekend anyway
I don't have my money tree up and growing so I really should stay home anyway
And go do my own inspirational work out

I really SHOULD be responsible

Right?!!

But I still wanna meet her!!!
And I still wanna see Caitlyn Trout lift. And Brandon Lilly. And the Lilliebridge's.  and on... and on.... and on.....

So... My compromise? (as Brad put it...)

Get up at the crack of dawn Saturday morning ( I'm sooooo not a morning person ) and drive to Columbus. Spend the day getting my fill of body building and power lifting, AND MEET DANA LINN BAILEY... then drive back home. It eliminates hotel expense. Which was adding up quickly!!!!

So I guess I could use this disappointment to sit at home and pout all weekend OR use it and turn it into DRIVE to push harder and do MORE.... right??

I want to SEE gains!
I want to be inspirational... (stomping foot!)
I want other people to look at me and be inspired to push harder

Hey....I know!!!!!
How about I punish myself enroll in a boot camp on top of my already scheduled gym sessions!

WHY NOT!????!

So for 6 weeks (at least)  - I'll work out SEVEN DAYS A WEEK
Look out summer - here come my ABS!!!!!

Work
Hustle
KILL yo!!!!!

Did you just call me a liar?

Try and tell me that commitment isn't worth it

Or that working out can't be fun

Or that being committed TO working out doesn't work.

OR that there is any negative side to either: 
commitment or working out.

I will call YOU a liar SIR!

My obliques are CRYING for help today.
OUCH
They hurt.
Like I've been punched in the ribs like a punching bag....HURT

And it's GREAT!
WHAT?!!
Yep - it's fantastic.  Because I know I'm WORKING and I know that the work I'm doing is making changes in my body!

When I started this journey months ago - I had no idea what I was in for.
Or what I would learn... on so many levels.

I read a blog today - posted by Brandon Lilly - cube-bench-team-and-chatter regarding the gym and working out and the crew you work out with... and how you become a family.   And it brought a small tear to my eye.  (yes - I know.... EVERYTHING brings tears to my eyes.... I'm sensitive... soooo???)

Anyway - I realized once again - I am VERY lucky.
And once again I will thank God for bringing me through what He has brought me through for He knew where I would land.  And He knew what I needed.
And he OBVIOUSLY knew how strong I needed to be to get here.....  mentally and emotionally... and now even physically!!

When I started working out with these guys - I was so NOT happy about it.  I'm the only girl there.  And hello girls... as if being in the gym isn't intimidating enough... worrying about what you look like and if you're doing something wrong or right... so many things that you have NO idea about.  And then - I go in and listen to these guys yelling at each other.  YES.  Yelling.
Now - for those of you who know me, you KNOW I don't like to be put on display. I can do just about anything.... on my own.  Without an audience.  I'm not a public speaker or performer or whatever.   It makes me insecure for people to watch.
AND I'm sensitive.  Don't yell at me.  Good or bad... don't yell at me.   I'm my own worst critic and when I can't do something - it makes me mad.  And yes... sometimes I cry.  Because I'm frustrated.  At myself.  And then you yell at me to keep going?  {{Insert tears!}}
It was SCARY!!!
SO - When I saw that they did all these lifts together.... watching and critiquing... and cheering... I thought "NOPE"   Not for me.  I can't do this.   I don't need someone "pushing me" or cheering for me.  Just don't watch me.... or talk to me..... I'll be fine.

Or so I thought.

I was wrong.

THAT is what drives you.

YELL.  AT.  ME.     
PUSH.  ME!!!

When you are pushing the very depth of all you have left in you... when you are scraping the bottom of your tank and think you can't do ONE MORE SQUAT.  Then you hear "Come on Tammy.... push...."   There is nothing that drives you harder.
Your group
Your "boys"
Your support

Even when anyone or everyone has made me mad or hurt my feelings.... one yell to push me through washes it all away.
And then you hear "good work"
and all is well again.

There are nights in the gym when I want to punch someone in the face.  There are nights when I don't feel strong and I want to go off in the corner and work alone.  But it's those nights that one of the boys says something... anything to me... that reminds me how close knit this sport is and how we are always looking out for one another.

There really is nothing like it.

And the best part is that spirit carries over into EVERYone of those boys lives.

**sidenote**  For all you single girls out there - looking for a "GOOD" guy..... start at a power lifting meet.  I don't know that you can find a better man with a bigger heart anywhere out there

Are you calling me a liar?

Try it.

And just so you know Brandon Lilly - my girl crush IS and will remain Dana Linn Bailey... I mean - hello - have you SEEN HER????  (ha ha) 
BUT you Brandon - INSPIRE me today....   and I want to thank you for that.
You are the epitome of what this sport breeds.... an unending desire to not only make yourself better and stronger, but to also watch everyone around you get better and stronger and PUSH them to do so!

Does this video make my butt look big?!

I hope so!!! 
 I've worked hard for it!! 8-)

** side note**  and THAT -------> is NOT my butt!!!

I did it. I put myself out there.
I'm doing everything I can to get better and stronger to meet my goals for 2013!
(and maybe a few bucket list items too!)

So I put myself on YouTube!
(my mother will just die.... LOL)

Remember when I posted 3...2...1... Here We Go about the contest and trying to win a work out session with my girl crush  fitness role model Dana Linn Bailey?!
To enter the contest, you have to submit pictures, an essay of why you should be picked and a "optional" video
So I threw together a video
Because I'm all about going above and beyond the call of duty... AND I wanna win! Duhhhh

My video is not all sexy and abs and foofoo girlie girl.
 It's all strong. It's WORK. It's hard
Just the way I like it!!
I didn't want a video that you looked at and said "dang she's hot"
I wanted my video to say  "Dang she's strong.. and works HARD!"
So that's what I put together

And I thought I would share
See what y'all think
Questions... comments... CRITICISM
Whatever?!!

ENJOY!!!

Motivational Monday ~The Cube Method~

Good morning all!!
I wanna say how happy I am to be alive this morning and how thankful I am that I can even walk. It may not be pretty.. but I'm walking!!

We started a new work out program last night called The Cube Method. It was developed by Brandon Lily. He is a very large, AWESOME, Super Strong power lifter.  (Brad has met him and says he is a super great guy!  I'm going to meet him in two weeks, at the Arnold.... along with my girl crush!!)

Anyway, since I have been working out with these guys, I have run a couple of different programs with them... last night was BY FAR one of the hardest I have done.

And as sore and BEAT DOWN as I was last night, this morning gives me a great new perspective.

I did it.

I made it.

I survived the ENTIRE workout.

I have been working out with them for 7 months now and I would say I have been SERIOUS about getting stronger since December.  That's TWO months of mental and physical HARD WORK to get stronger!!
I can promise you that 7 months ago I would have NEVER been able to keep up with those boys!!  In fact the first time I walked into the gym and saw the magnitude of the weights they move, I was literally in awe.  Like mouth dropping disbelief AWE....

Now granted, my heavy lifts are not up to what they do - but for me... I have come a long way and I couldn't be MORE proud!!

So - HAPPY Monday to you all!!!
Stand up today and be proud of where you are.  Look at where you were 1 year ago... are you where you wanted to be now?
Did you set goals that you have met or are working towards??
If not - make some.  Set some goals.  Aspire to be somewhere.

.... and then - DO THE WORK!!
that's all it takes.

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."

C.S. Lewis

Here is Brandon Lilly in all his glory!!

And here is just the FIRST night of the CUBE METHOD.   This is how I spent my night last night.   What did you do to work toward YOUR goal??

Squat: warm ups.
5 sets of 2 x 110 lb squats
3 sets of 8 x 85 lb good mornings
3 sets of 20 leg extensions (25 lbs)
3 sets of 12 lunges (with a bar 25 lbs)
60 back raises.
2 sets of 50 banded leg curls on each leg

Add all that together and what you get is JELLO for legs!!!!!!!

Happy Monday and have a great week everyone!!!  :)

3...2...1.... Here we go!!!!!

I'm on a mission

NO - it's not to BE the biggest dork every....
but I AM the biggest dork EVER!!!

I recently saw that MHP is sponsoring a contest where you can win a work out session in OH (at the Arnold which we will be attending) with Dana Linn Bailey.... my girl crush and the most BAD-A$$ chick I know... well I don't really KNOW her....  but I mean IF I did - I have no doubt we would be the BEST of friends!!!
And Brad would be diggin on some Rob Bailey too.... just sayin....

ANYWAY
to enter the contest, you simply fill out the registration form... attach pictures... and an "optional" video.  Ummmmm - OPTIONAL??  NO!
I have been working relentlessly on putting together a "Tammy is a bada$$ and you need to pick me to work out with" video!

It's so fun
And kinda neat to really SEE on camera how far I have come in such a short period of time with lifting!

Yeah - Ok - I'm proud
NOT bragging...  but PROUD!!
And there is not a dang thing wrong with that!!

So anyway - I'm on my mission right now..... but soon - very soon - there will be a youtube video to share!!

And then hopefully MHP will think it's just as bada$$ as I do and hopefully they will see Dana Linn and me are long lost BFF's!
(fingers crossed!)

Don't we look like BFF's and GREAT work out buddies?!!!   :-)

Dana Linn Bailey

Tammy R Green

Motivational Monday ~back to the GRAY~

So I've been struggling with what to do and what direction to go with my blog. I've spent some time going back through old blogs and there really are some good jewels in there!!
Now granted, there's also some stuff that.. well frankly I'd prefer to just delete (revert back to my confession about my gift to pretend certain things never happened).
But those trips and stumbles and bad decisions brought me here... So ehhhh... I guess they stay.
For now

Which leaves me still trying to determine where to go from here

I tend to lean back to my original sentiment in some form
The reason I started blogging in the first place. I needed a place to clear my head. Cleanse my soul. Admit defeat, ask for help and give back to anyone I can give back to. And mostly... To share a little bit of me that might motivate someone else. To share the falls... And the triumphs! To give people a reason to push through. To be a living example that pushing through thick and thin and holding onto your faith, you will get through!

So on that note, I will use this space to push being healthy first and foremost.
Physically, emotionally and spiritually

Every day in gray!!!
Physically.... The gray in the iron we move.... the obstacles we move... the steps we take every day.
The gray of walking into the gym with a goal in mind and the gray of not knowing what you might pull off today!
Emotionally... The gray of getting knocked down and not knowing if you can get back up. The gray, that consumes you when you're down, that we break through to come out on top!
Spiritually... putting what God wants first in your life.. not just what YOU want.
The gray
Back to the gray

Lets celebrate it together and push each other to levels we never knew were possible. In every aspect of our lives!!

I have so many goals for this year. In the gym and out of the gym!!
But my number one goal goes back to why I started blogging in the first place

To motivate YOU!!!!

Physically I'm going to share weight, measurements and (the dreaded) before pics...
I know I've already been working out, and getting stronger, but now it's time to get the diet on track too!
Today is ground zero
Time to get serious

I'm starting with my first meet under my belt. So I have beginning "official" weights in the books.
And my starting weight and measurements start today
I will push to get stronger and lose body fat

If anyone wants advice or motivation, feel free to ask :)). I'm here to help you as much as I can!

Wishing everyone a great Monday to get your week off to a fantastic start!

"Things do not just happen. Things are made to happen" John F Kennedy

Live life on purpose
Make your week great!!!

{{HUGS}}
I found my motivation - where will you find yours??

Friday's confessional... those dirty little secrets!!

What better way to celebrate a Friday than with some dirty little secrets!!
 (AKA things NORMAL people are scared to say out loud.... notice the emphasis on NORMAL!)




So without further adieu
Here are my Friday Confessionals!!!
((welcome to the judge-free zone!))

I confess...
I hate the Dentist.  I put it off as long as I can.  Grrrrrr....  so last week, after 3 years... yes THREE, I finally went in for a cleaning.  (ONLY because I chipped a tooth that needed fixing because I couldn't stop "tonguing" it and my tongue was getting raw!!)  I arrive for my cleaning only to discover that I need three fillings!!  (One for every year of skipping = my karma I guess)  So, back this week I went for fillings.... my mouth is STILL SORE!!!!!  Shall I wait another three years to be tortured?

I confess...
I can watch documentaries or movies where people die all day long..... NONE of them break me down like a commercial about an animal.  It's sad really... but I must confess that Clydesdale commercial during the Superbowl literally melted me.  So much so that I was not just "teary eyed" - but literally had tears ROLLING down my face.  I then tortured myself by watching it repeatedly!  WHYYYYYYYY????!!
Here... let's do it again!

I confess....
I hate dieting.  There I said it.  I.  AM.  A.  CARB.  JUNKIE!  Period.   BUT starting next week I'm starting a new diet.  (a LOW carb diet)  Or I'm changing my "lifestyle eating habits"  (snicker snicker)  It's a low carb diet that is supposed to effectively make you lose weight without losing muscle mass.  And I've worked hard for these muscles - so God forbid I do ANYTHING that might cause me to lose ANY of that muscle!!  I'm grumpy when I diet.  And I need CARBS!  Did I mention that.  I REQUIRE carbs....  Did I mention it's a LOW CARB DIET??

so this should be FUN!

I confess....

There are times in my life when I should be happy for people.... and I struggle with it.  (BIG confession!)  There are some people I know that have made, or are trying to make, better choices and appear to be in a better place now.  And I want to punch them in the face.  YES - I realize that is not very lady like and not very Christian like... and very unbecoming....(that's why this blog is called "confessionals") but sometimes - people deserve to fall flat on their faces for a minute?!  RIGHT!!  ha ha.  KARMA!
Some people get ALL the breaks... no matter HOW UGLY they act and treat other people!   blahhhh
Does that make me a bad person?



I confess....
Sometimes I say too much.  Sometimes I am TOO open for my own good.
Sometimes I worry that this confessional Friday blog will get me in trouble.
Sometimes I say things I shouldn't.

I confess....
I'm sorry to admit it makes me kinda sad when very few people read my blog and no one hardly ever comments. I don't write for others, I write for me. But sometimes I'm really proud of something and it feels like I just threw it in a lake. So shout out to Shell at Things I can't Say for giving me a shout out on FB!!! Thanks girl!!

Hope everyone has a GREAT Friday and a fantastic weekend!!!

And on a positive note - cause I always like to leave things positive - A friend posted this on facebook and it hit home with me... and hopefully it will with you too!  I'm SURE he won't mind me passing this along!

The foreclosure of your house, the repossession of your car, the cheating of your spouse that left you broken and without a relationship; all hard situations that forced you to change something that wasn't working. Your financial situation changed and the loss forced you into a life you could afford now. A broken relationship wasn't the one you deserve...forced to be alone and work on yourself until you are in the relationship you dream of. Change is hard but you will end up so happy. Trust God and make the necessary changes. You'll get through this!

Motivational Monday from my Motivational Weekend!!

As women we are so judgmental and caught up in a society based on looks. It is WE who drive that so hard... More so than men. We are so hard on ourselves!
Just think about when you get ready to go out somewhere. You get dressed up and do your best to look good... And slender... And young...
Not so much for men, but for the fear of someone saying "gosh can you believe how big Tammy looks!" Oh the horror!!!!

Honestly, that "horror" is what drove me to start working out
Lets be honest, that is what drives most of us to the gym
Now granted, other things are taken into consideration.... Health, not wanting to buy bigger clothes, post baby weight, and many others...
But ultimately, I think it's because we are so worried about what others (stupid girls) think!

In going back to the gym this time, I have been taken down a different path
I started power lifting
In the beginning it was humorous to me. The idea. Calling myself a power lifter.
Imagining what "power lifters" look like.
Well....
I competed in my second competition this weekend; this was my first real life "sanctioned" full power meet. Which ultimately means soon I will be able to go to the SPF (southern power lifting federation) website and my name will be listed there. Me. Tami G. I'll have a ranking as a US power lifter. How cool is that?!!
It's pretty awesome!!!

But the coolest part is this: with the men AND women at these meets, even being so new to this sport, even being so self conscious about looks, and not being strong enough, and whatever other dumb thing us women worry about- I can't say I have ever felt such a camaraderie anywhere else. Everyone there helps each other and cheers for each other and genuinely cares that you DO good!! It truly is a team sport even though you lift alone. It's just YOU on that platform. With 100 people screaming behind you. Wishing you a good lift
It's indescribable. And coming from someone with stage fright who doesn't like to be in front of people... that's saying a lot!!

Motivation at its finest

I've "gymmed" it before
I've wanted to lose weight, and build abs and look GOOD before
But on this path, I truly want to be strong. And everyone else wants that too. And we work together to push each other to meet goals
It's not cut-throat, it's motivation and esteem building at its best

This weekend I saw guys lift 800+ pounds! I saw a male and female lift enough to get their "Pro" cards. They will be "names" in this sport to follow.
And I saw them qualify.
This weekend I saw an 11 year old tiny little girl dead lift 200 pounds!!!
And in a room full of strong burly power lifters, I bet there wasn't one dry eye in the room when her eyes filled with tears.... So proud!!!

It truly is the most motivating, accepting, loving, non-judgemental atmosphere I have ever experienced!!!

If there is something you want out of life, or somewhere you wanna go in life, spend some time with a group of power lifters!!! There can't be a better group of motivators to push you to where you want to be in life!!! There just can't!

I am thankful to have a boyfriend with that exact same character not just about lifting, but about everything in life!!! He is never anything short of lifting me up!!
And I'm lucky enough to have just as good of a group of guys to work out with too... now if I could just wrangle me up some girls!!!

Happy Monday everyone!!!

This week, don't judge people. Instead take some time to push someone to be better. Take some time to build their self esteem. And make a choice to push yourself to be better and want more!
Never stop reaching and growing, because when you do, what's left to live for?!!

Have a GREAT WEEK!!!!

For those interested, I had a great meet this weekend!!!
I was pushing for a 450 lb total and walked away at 460!
90 bench. 145 squat. 225 deadlift
My unitard did me proud!!!
Couldn't be happier!

Next step for me....
Meeting Dana Linn Bailey and Rob next month at the Arnold Classic!!!
My #1 motivator/role model and GIRL CRUSH!!!! (Cheeeeese!!!!)

GO HARD OR GO HOME!!