Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Just over here being a girl and stuff....

I am independent.
I am hard headed.
I am stubborn.
I am determined.
I am focused.
I believe that everything God has brought me through, is to make me all of those things!
I believe that every fall along the way has made me tougher. 
It's made me WISER.
And it's always serves to remind me that HE has a plan for me that is bigger than anything I could have ever planned on my own!

I like fast cars. 
I want a jeep so I can take the top off and let my hair blow in the wind!
I like lifting heavy things. 
I can leave the house without makeup on and not care! 
I don't mind to get dirty. 
I like to sweat!
I am a FREE spirit.
I don't want to answer to anyone.
I believe there is NO limit to what you can do when you put your mind to it.
I like to dress up and hang out with my girls - but I also like to throw on a bandanna and jump on a four-wheeler and ride around all day long and get sweaty and muddy and not even care what I look like!

but SOMETIMES....  some days...
I fall to my knees (for good reason)
Sometimes I am weak.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed.
Sometimes when it seems that all is going well - it's only because I am forced to remember to focus UP!

Today has been one of those days.

Tonight was supposed to be a gym night for me.  And not even a HARD night.....
We are taking it easy this week since we just competed last weekend. 
We will start lifting heavy again next week as we start back with Week 1 of The Cube again. 

But this week... little by little... day by day ... for several reasons - I've been humbled.

Sometimes I can't even run and hide from it in the gym.

Sometimes I just need to sit alone.  Here with my laptop and FREAK OUT reflect.

Plan.  And go over and over and OVER things....
And... well - relive the day and what's going on and refocus on where I am going from here.

Without going into a lot of detail - just know that sometimes my hard outer tough shell serves to protect and hide the weak spirit that is thriving inside.

Don't freak out - NOTHING traumatic has occurred - life is good and I really have SO much to be thankful for and really NOTHING to complain about. 
and LOTS to be thankful for.... did I mention that?!  LOTS!
I just have alot on my plate today... alot of change, alot of worry, alot of directional planning... and although most days I can walk along and carry all of that - sometimes it just gets a little heavy.

(Reminder:  When the weight of the world is on your shoulders.... SQUAT IT!!!  ha)

Tomorrow I will arise and me and God will take on the day and all will be well

But tonight - I guess I just needed to be a girl.

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