The time has come.. to bury the dead

What do I fear?

I fear stagnation and lack of progress.

I fear never reaching my potential and being average.

I fear being forgotten... The past... Yesterday's news.

I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into the night.

I fear letting those I love down, or letting myself down.

I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is" mindset.

I fear dying without leaving my mark.

I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along.

These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.

I love my fear.

It makes me FEARLESS!

The time has come...... to bury the dead  (Thanks ROB BAILEY)
It's MEET TIME!!!!

Last night was our last night of heavy lifting (we still have a body building night Friday) before our day of reckoning...  Our TEST of strength... our " mock" meet. With Lilly. On his turf. Under his jurisdiction.
The greatest test of strength I can imagine.
 Physically.
Emotionally.
Mentally.

(and I'm a freaking NERVOUS wreck... Can you tell yet?!)

But how am I feeling about my lifts!?

Squats
Well... I feel GREAT about my squat! I have PR'ed in the gym since my last meet and I know I'm gonna blow the squat UP come meet time :))
I feel confident. And STRONG!!!
( and I'm glad it's our opening lift!! )
*my previous meet squat max was 145*

Bench
As you know, if you care or follow me AT ALL... It's my scariest lift to come. When I started lifting with the boys, bench was my favorite. It felt good. And natural. But for some reason, as all my other lifts have gotten stronger, my bench seems to have remained stagnant. And uncomfortable.
But thanks to Lilly and many people who are currently running The Cube, I have gotten some great advice. My bench HAS come up... as of today, only 5 pounds. Which IS STILL progress... so I shouldn't complain. Regardless, it IS my weakest link and meet or no meet, PR or no PR, if nothing else, I can at least say - I've learned lots on what to do to build my bench. I'm looking forward to building up my lats and upper back to finally smash a good PR on bench!!
 Kroc rows, lat training, bent over rows and band pull aparts... on the regular. BAM!!!
*my previous meet bench max was 90*

DeadLift
Where do I go with this one?! I don't even know?! I've progressed nicely from the beginning on dead lifts. I like this pull. It's strong. BUT I did experience somewhat of a back injury during this program, which took me completely OUT of heavy deads and then into lighter weight coming back. I did train legs hard while my back was an issue, so I'm just crossing my fingers on this lift that I have at least maintained my level of strength. I feel good about it..
*my previous meet deadlift max was 225*

On top of all the training and back injury, I have started going to the chiropractor!!! (Yay for Magna!!! Thx Dr Hawley and Nikki!!).
My back has never felt so good

So adding together all of the above, the GREAT training program (The Cube), expert advice from Brandon Lilly, great feedback and tips from a great group of people on The Cube Facebook page, a GREAT group of workout partners, support from the BF, my awesome chiropractic family, and all the drive and motivation one female can fit into a body, quite frankly, I don't know how I can fail!!!!!

We will do some body building exercises Friday night. One day next week I will get in my singlet (I retired the unitard! Though this "singlet" is not any less TIGHT!) and hit the gym one night to test my openers. Just to stay loose and help with my jitters!
I'm not an exhibitionist and being in front of people sets my nerves into a spinning whirlwind of tornadoes!!!!
I will meet up with Dr Hawley for one final adjustment and then it's just Hurry Up and wait!!!
Just talking about it already has my stomach in knots!!

I'm excited to lift.

I'm excited to meet Lilly (and crew?)

But mostly I'm excited to know what progress I have made so that I can set my next goals!!!!

.... they try 'n hold me back.... they try 'n hold me back.... they try 'n hold me BACK!!!  *Rob Bailey*