11 hours ago
Friday, April 12, 2013
The scary "UNKNOWN"
The not really yes - but not really NO situations that you face daily.
The " I like you but I don't know if I want to be with you forever" decisions.
The "I got the job but I don't know if it's for me"
The "I know what I should do - but it doesn't match what I want to do"
I hate the gray.
or at least I did......
or I do....
some of it...
the indecisiveness. the wavering. the what ifs.
Yes then No. Up then Down. I'm gonna change; no I'm NOT.
I'm better today... then I'm not.
It drives me crazy!!!
Which is precisely why today I have been putting a lot of thought into my blog.
My every day in GRAY thought VOMIT!!!
And I feel like it's lost direction.
Maybe some meaning...
(and definitely some followers!)
Some days I write.
Some days I don't
Some days I WANT to write, but I'm not sure what to talk about...
Some days I just DON'T want to write. At all. (those are the days I probably NEED to the most!)
Anyway - as I'm thinking through my blog today, it struck me as quite ironic with the whole gray thing.
Years ago - when I started blogging, I had a direction.
And I worked and tried so hard to get followers... those faithful readers.
When I look at my number of followers on blogger today - it's the SAME exact number as it was years ago... when I lost track of where my blog was going.
But the number of people who comment is next to ZERO
Do people even read? or care?!!
And why do I want so bad for them to?
So I wondered... if maybe I need a new direction
and a new following.
Some of my faithfuls still follow along and I'm so thankful for that
But I wonder if my lack of direction has led people to bore of reading my dribble.
So I thought about "The gray"
And it's direction...
And I realized where my direction has gone!!!!!!!
my new POSITIVE GRAY! (no... not Christian Grey.... though that would be positive too! HA)
I strive to motivate people.... to inspire people.... to give people hope
To BE that ray of sunshine.
I strive to be the one that you find when you are at the end of the your rope and you're falling off...
I strive to the be the KNOT that catches you and keeps you holding on and fighting to pull yourself back up.
It's what I was born for.
For my son..... for my family...... for my friends..... for my patients... and for people whom I don't even KNOW!!!
So I'm wondering if I could start posting my workouts here.
My gym work outs... my LIFE work outs.... my goals... my diet... my inspiration.
Could I give people somewhere positive to go every morning to motivate them to do ONE thing positive that day? Just one!!
For yourself? For someone else...
And let me tell you - if I... me.... little "toothpick" Tammy can pick up a bar with weight on it and put it on my back and squat it to the floor and back up -- let me just tell you - YOU who follow along can do ANYTHING!
I am living proof!!!
My goal for my blog is to be MORE inspirational...
to inspire those who follow me
and to provide a positive inspirational environment that drives people to WANT to follow along every day and see what is new in MY GRAY little world.....
in the gym AND out!
What do you all think?
Do I close the blog up as a place that has run it's course?
or Push it to new levels of being inspirational and focusing more on fitness and pushing ourselves PAST our limits??!!
Cause it sucks to be inspirational.... to NO ONE.