SHEman?!! By the POWER of grayskull!

Thanks for the inspiration KK!  ;-)

What is your obsession?
your passion?
Where's your loyalty?
your commitment?

What's the freaking difference??

When is enough... enough?

I have had so many people tell me I'm crazy.  I've had people tell me I'm over the top.  I've had people tell me I'm extreme.  and... obsessed!  People laugh and make jokes about me flexin... (oh trust me.... when I CAN, and I WILL be able to.. impressively ... you can bet your BUTT that I will be!)
Anyway.... It's cool.
Maybe you DO think it's too much... maybe you DO think I'm gonna end up like the chick in that pic!!??
Maybe?
maybe you actually believe that!??

But you don't know.

You don't know that what I do is not an obsession... it IS however a PASSION.  It IS something you have to be committed to and LOYAL to!  It is something that requires giving up certain things.
And it is a game of being educated about what you do!!!

No one wakes up one morning and just walks into a gym and picks up 500 pound barbells off the ground. No one wakes up one morning and looks like the chick in that picture (or WANTS to!  :-p  ha ha)

what you DO wake up to is the DESIRE to be better.
The desire to win.
The desire to fight and not give up.
The desire to be stronger
The desire to be better today than you were yesterday.j
You wake up.... PASSIONATE!!!  (ok - maybe you don't actually WAKE UP that way...  well... I don't anyway - cause I don't wake up ANYTHING.... I barely wake up at all!)  ha ha
    but once I'm up for a bit.... LOOK OUT!
I'm all about some passion!  :))

When I started lifting, I had no idea what a "deadlift" even was....
And the only squatting I had ever done did not involve much weight - and if it did involve any weight, it sure wasn't sitting on my back trying to knock me over.  I threw my hands out in front of me to balance....
And you want me to hold WHAT... WHERE???
How am I supposed to hold a barbell on my back AND balance myself with my hands out in front??
And benching....... what a joke?  I had never been under a bench press EVER!!  I thought guys stood around in the gym comparing... ummmmm .... the size of their.... TRUCKS!!  or BENCH?!!  :)
So why would I.... a GIRL wanna bench press???

Oh how things change in a year....
And it's funny how passion grows where passion didn't exist before?
It's amazing the things that your body is capable of... and we sit around having NO IDEA!!!!

We were sitting at home (before gym time) last night watching Extreme Weight Loss.  I don't know how many of you have ever seen that or even care...... but it seriously blows my mind.
It blows my mind that we are literally capable of soooooo much more than we do!!
I watched a set of twins last night drop hundreds of pounds between the two of them.
I watched dedication and commitment and a DESIRE to better themselves!!
yes....... I used the word "better"
Maybe that is politically UNcorrect....
but facts are facts.  Let's face it.

At over 300 pounds... imagine what you are doing to your body every day.  You work every muscle so much harder.  Your organs have to work harder.  And your body will wear out.  Sooner than later.
So it's not so much about the vanity of it all.... but the passion to be a better YOU!!!
Why is that so hard for people to understand?

After watching this show, we headed off to the gym... fired up for bench night.
For those of you who have read anything I have written about working out - bench has been my nemesis.  I had tried and tried to break the 100 barrier forever it felt like.  Weeks ago I went to Berea to train with the infamous Brandon Lilly.  And I DID break that barrier.
But it was weeks ago..... months ago....
And I was kinda freaking out because I hadn't done it again since then.
Well last night - on rep night.... after set after set of reps - I shot for that 100 again.
AND I GOT IT!!!!!!
And you may be rolling your eyes right now... thinking who cares?  or you may be thinking 100 pounds... big whoop... that's nothing!!!
But you see.... I care and it IS a big deal to me.

It is living proof that I am better today than I was when I started in this sport.
It IS living proof that hard work and dedication DO pay off.
It IS living proof that I can keep getting better.
It is living proof that lifting heavy weights WON'T kill me or "break my back" or "make me old"...

It is PROOF that I TRAIN...... not just work out.

It is PROOF that I can ALWAYS be better!
So can you!!!!!

If you had told me at that meet I competed at less than 6 months ago that I could bench 105, that I could deadlift 230, or that I would ever EVER be able to squat a bar... much less 185 pounds, I most definitely would have thought you crazy!!!

So am I crazy?  Maybe, but that was there before powerlifting!
Am I obsessed?  Maybe... and maybe you should be too!
Am I committed?  YES - is that a crime?
Am I loyal?  YES.  You have to be

Am I EVER going to look like that SHEman in that picture??????
Thankfully no!
I can lift like a beast and still look like a lady!

Now what's YOUR excuse?

Here's my 100 bench....  I will do that and then some June 15th!

And just for fun... this is 95 pounds for 3.... watch that last one - I downshifted one time!  ha ha

~Motivational Monday ... or Tuesday... or whatever~

I haven't been able to keep my days straight this week anyway.....  so WHATERRR

Good Monday Morning peeps!!
(It's past Monday now but I never got to post this Monday and I wanted to share!)

Sorry it's been a bit since I've been by - but the month of May always proves to be a whirlwind!!
Birthdays galore
(my son's 18th this year!)
Graduation
Prom
Upcoming vacations...
the list goes on and on...

And now, unlike previous years - I have gym time TRAINING thrown in there!

Today (Monday) - Just like every other day - I had to fight to get my butt out of bed this morning.
*Reminder - I'm SO not a morning person*
But today it was a little more than that.
Sunday night is gym night.
It's squat night.  Always.

Remember a few short weeks ago, we went to Berea to do our "mock meet" to see where we stood on our lifts after a full run through The Cube Method.
I squatted 185 there.  A BIG PR for me!
(I did 145 at our last meet.)
I've squatted more than that in the gym since that meet - but it doesn't count until it hits the platform.
185 wasn't technically on a platform.. (although I would hardly call being IN FRONT OF BRANDON LILLY not a platform!!)  Regardless it put it in my head that I KNOW I can squat 185.
Period.
I did it.
And now I know it.

Well - Sunday night was our rep squat night where, as we are getting closer to an upcoming meet, I like to test myself.  So I hit 155 for 2!  Should have videoed that as it is a gym PR for sure!  Oh wait - I DID!!!
I digress...
That double felt so good I decided to go up.
Knowing that I have hit 185 - I went straight for 190.
 Should be in the bag.
Loaded the bar and walked it out.
Walking it out, I didn't feel good.  Felt shaky and just not confident under the bar.
(the 185 I had squatted was from a mono lift which means I didn't have to walk it out)
So I went down in the squat and got stuck there in the hole.
Booooooooo - reverting back to OLD CRAP!!!
BUT - being that I didn't feel good and solid before the lift - I blamed it on that.
I sat down, regrouped, let some others lift and decided I should hit it again.
Again - KNOWING in my head I should be able to do this and blaming the 1st attempt miss on instability under the bar.
2nd attempt:  I stuck in the bottom again.

Now I know not ALL (no one?  crickets....) of you all out there that read my blog CARE a thing in the world about me lifting weights  (I have been called "excessive" - and that's ok - I prefer to refer to it as passionate! ) so I get that you may not care that I missed 190.

BUT - let me put it to you like this....

Have you ever tried to do ANYTHING that you knew you should be able to do?  You go out there... prepared, trained and ready to conquer the world.  And you fail.
But then - just out of spite and the pure burning desire to do what you know you can do - you try it AGAIN!??  And you fail?!!
Do you feel me now?
Do you feel that frustration deep inside your soul spinning and churning and raising your blood pressure to the point of the top of your head blowing off like in the cartoons?

DO YOU KNOW THAT FEELING??????

Well whether it is weights or a ballgame or a picture your painting or whatEVER it might be... you can NOT fight the disappointment in yourself.

BUT...........

Here's where your truth STRENGTH occurs.

One of my lifting boys told me something his coach told him years ago... and it is TRUE in everything in life.
We are all going to have good days and bad days.
Period.  It happens.
True inner STRENGTH is BUILT by taking advantage of those GOOD days and using them to the BEST of your ABILITY.
But ALSO fighting harder to get THROUGH those bad days and leaving it at the table at the end of the day. Don't let it crush you.  Don't sit down and die.
Push harder and USE it to your advantage later!

Failure is not always a BAD thing.
Nobody WANTS to fail.  Clearly.
BUT it's that FAILURE that happened to me Sunday night while squatting that will DRIVE me and MOTIVATE me the next time I get under a squat bar.
Period.

Take the bad with the good and learn how to use them BOTH to your advantage.
No one wants to MISS a lift - I can promise you that.
No one want to lose a ballgame.
No one WANTS to fail

Your true character is built by what you do with the disappointment
Your true character is shown by how you build yourself up from that  fall.

Don't let life get you down.
No one is perfect.
Just strive to be better tomorrow than you are today.

If everyone did that - I bet there would be a lot less depression, obesity, "HATIN", laziness and people expecting something for nothing in this world.

EVERYONE needs some passion in their life!

I'm an Adult - now WHAT?!

Well - it's finally here... the day I have dreaded.
(I remember being young and it was THE one day I most looked forward to)
But as a mother... it's scary
Actually - it's invigorating and empowering and a great BIG hunk of pride....
and... yeah ..... also.......SCARY as crap!!!

I mean - let's face it... I've put in the time.
I've worked hard
I've made sacrifices
I've prayed
I've cried
I've smiled
I've laughed
I've worried
I've questioned
I've wondered....
I've WORRIED!

And now it's here.
It's "Official"!!!

My baby is 18!!
A "legal" adult
At "draft" age
Old enough to buy a lottery ticket
Old enough to sign a contract and be held legally responsible
Old enough to file his own taxes and claim his own income.
Old enough for college.

It seems like only yesterday we were starting day care, then school, making Dr. Seuss cakes, then tee ball, potty training with M&Ms, and sports physicals (turn and cough!  ha ha)
I can't believe how the time has flown.... I still feel like I just got out of high school myself
(you people KNOW I CLEARLY have no sense of TIME.... that was almost 20 years ago!!!)

Nonetheless.... here it is.

My sweet little bouncing baby boy is now officially 18
He has senior prom this weekend.
He graduates high school in just a few short weeks.

And then after a vacation, and a SKYDIVE (his 18th birthday present) - he will move out.... and be IN COLLEGE!
Part of me will die a little on the inside when he leaves.
It's been me and him forEVER.
The house will feel so empty... and I will worry  (not that I don't now) but I will worry what this world will do to him.
How will it treat him?
Will it chew him up and spit him out?
How will he handle the responsibility of college and LIFE on his own?
Will he sleep?
Will he party?
Will he go to class when he's supposed to?

Is he STRONG enough to handle whatever life has to throw at him??!!

Oh I worry.....
And it scares me almost as much as the first day of kindergarten!

But at the same time..... I'm so proud
Proud of what we have done.
We made it Zack man.  We made it.
Through taking a cab to day care and work because that's the only means of transportation we had.
Through waiting tables and praying for tips just so I could pay rent and keep food on the table.
Through baseball fees and uniforms and traveling and all the expense that entailed.
Through diapers and formula to shoes and clothes for a constantly growing boy!
Through me going to school and trying to juggle jobs and school and never miss a beat with you!

We made it.

And on this day - I could not be any prouder or any happier for YOU!!!

Congrats on yet another milestone of a million more to come

Your life is laying like an open book in front of you
Live your life to the fullest
Write your own story
Be all that you ever wanted to be

I raised you to believe that NOTHING is impossible!

Now go live out ALL your dreams!!!

Passion?!! I lift cuz I'm CrAzY!!

 It's something that's missing in almost everyone.
Passion!
No one is passionate about anything anymore... we just float through life letting whatever will be... BE!

Someone recently asked me how I got into power lifting and why?

What changed in me.... what clicked?!

And what my ultimate goal might be?


 
 It reminded me of an episode of Big Bang Theory (THE BEST show on TV!) where Penny gets a little distraught about not being passionate about anything.

I remember thinking that before... answering a question on one of those stupid surveys about your passion? What is your passion or your hobby?
I always thought... Well, I'm a single mother to a boy... My passion is pretty much what his interests include... basketball, baseball, North Carolina Tarheels, etc.
I didn't have TIME for MY passion ( or the money to SHOP... Which lets admit IS my passion! Ha)

Actually, as it turns out, I have learned you have TIME for what you MAKE time for. And I didn't make time for anything else.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still passionate about my child and his passions, but I have time to be passionate about ME too!!!

So, here's where it starts...

I was determined to get back in shape... With my ultimate goal being "to have a 6-pack".
Yep.
Every girl dreams of that flat stomach you had when you were 12! Right?!!
So I joined a gym. With no direction. Cardio was all I knew? I lifted a little before, but I really had no idea what direction to go with that. So I guess my intent was cardio. And maybe a few machines that I could wander over to without feeling stupid????

Insert B-rad!!! ( my little power liftin honey! )

I talked to him about my plan and he suggested some weights. Blahhhhh. I feel stupid. I was afraid. But I followed his direction nonetheless.

I remember walking into his gym that first time with him and all his boys. I remember watching them pick up weights that I just couldn't BELIEVE was possible!!!
I mean, it truly IS crazy to watch!!
BUT.... As cool as it is for them... Still.... Not for me. I just want a flat stomach. No need to be breaking my back and crap!!!

I started with some beginning strength stuff. In other words - I worked on my BOOTY!  I did a LOT of SQUATTING!!! And if you missed my squat blog, check it HERE - for my Mission Impossible.
Quite amusing!!!!

So - come December. My sweet little B-rad convinced me to do a meet. For "fun" he said. Now, MY idea of fun is NOT standing up in front of a room full of people with all eyes on me. In fact the thought of that makes my "private, not for display self" wanna THROW UP!!! But I love him and he wanted so bad for me to share this passion with him. So I agreed to lift.
I was a nervous wreck.
And felt nowhere NEAR strong enough to be competing!!!
It was just a push pull meet. Which means bench first, then deadlift. I benched. And it was ok, but mostly because there were no girls that were "great" on the bench. (NO competition!)  We were all about the same. Then came deadlift. Now going in, I felt pretty OK about my deadlift. I mean I felt stronger than when I started... so ehhhh ... It was ok. And I lifted. My max that day was 205. Which in my mind that day felt pretty good.

THEN.
I want you to know ....
This LITTLE HOOCHIE girl came right up behind me and picked up 300 pounds!!!

It was over.

My mind was blown

And she awakened something in me that I forgot I had!!!  
The desire to win!!!

Sure, now I enjoy lifting and I enjoy knowing I'm getting stronger
It IS my passion!!!
I know it takes time.
And I have to make the time.

But WHY do I do it????

TO CRUSH FACES!!!!

To be different.

To awaken that inner child that wanted to win when I played hide n seek.

To feed that little girl that always wanted to be on the winning team.

To defy the odds.

To prove to myself that I am capable of way more than I believed!!!

To amaze myself

TO COMPETE AND TO WIN!!!

I DON'T WORK OUT - I TRAIN!  

TRAIN TO WIN!!!

I tried to show my son videos and it does nothing for him.
It's not HIS passion.
It is mine!

People may not understand it. And people may get tired of hearing me talk about it.
But everyone has their own niche.
Powerlifting and getting stronger is mine.
I FOUND my passion!!!

As far as a goal goes... I make small goals almost every day... as I progress
I want each lift to be better than the lift before
But ULTIMATELY...
I want to compete.
And I want to win!!!
I want to, first of all, be better than myself!!
I want to prove that I am stronger today than I was yesterday!!!

I know that there is always someone stronger than me somewhere... But I'm gonna do my best and work hard as heck to be stronger every day!!  I strive at every work out to be stronger than I was at the last!

SO - If you have considered getting in shape or working out for whatever reason, don't do it just to check a box. Find a niche. Find your passion!!
It makes it so much better for you, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally when you are actually doing something you ENJOY with a GOAL in mind!
Something should DRIVE you!
Compete.
Compete with yourself and compete with others.  
Crush faces!!!
Find your inner "need to win!"   I bet you forgot it was there!

Someone named Edward made a video featuring one of the (in my opinion) MOST motivational inspiring power lifters that I know out there.
Mr. Brandon Lilly.
Watch this video
If it doesn't touch you or inspire something out of you - you just might be DEAD INSIDE!!!!

Whatever YOUR passion might be - do it with ALL your heart and always try to be better tomorrow than you are today.  Otherwise, what do you have to be passionate about?

NOW - have a GREAT weekend 

and go be passionate about something!!!!!