I need a new boyfriend!

So I've only been married for four months right.

My first and ONLY marriage (yeah at 34....)

It's ME, Preacher T, my son Z (15) and T's two girls (8 & 11)

Before the wedding.... I had this idea of what life would be like once we were married.
Yeah.... I DO realize some of it was a bunch of fairy tale CROCK - but some of it, REALLY....
well - I guess some of it....   well - it's just been surprising.

Here's what I've got so far
The difference between my BOYFRIEND and being married.....

{{sidenote - this is a parody - LAUGH - don't take it too serious }}

my boyfriend brought me cards and flowers
my husband brings me..... ummmmm....... yeah....  a big long string of complaints about the house, the day, the kids etc

my boyfriend used to sit up all night with me talking and laughing
my husband is ready for bed at 8:00

my boyfriend told me all the time how much he loved me and why
my husband rarely sometimes remembers to say it before he passes out in bed

my boyfriend used to tell me how HOT I am
my husband loves to make fun of lovingly criticize everything I say and do

my boyfriend used to LOVE to hold me
my husband has to sleep facing the other direction cuz his shoulder hurts

my boyfriend used to wish he could spend the night with me so he could hold me all night
my husband gets too hot when I drape my leg across his

my boyfriend would come over and tell me how great the house looks
my husband comes in and says "What ELSE did you do today?"

and last but not least of the things that I CAN mention 
my boyfriend couldn't stop kissing me or keep his hands off of me
my husband fell asleep last night while I showered and proceeded to put lotion on myself BY MYSELF!

And men say WOMEN change after marriage.....
sheeeeeeesh!
Does anyone have a boyfriend I can borrow????  LOL

BUT

I love you T!!!  :-)

CUZ... you see....
I DO have the BEST husband  :)  I DO!!
it was my husband who let me quit my job so that I can focus on school (6 more months!)
and it was my husband who got me a pair of Miss Me (my FAVORITE) jeans for Christmas
and it was my husband who got me a PHAT Miss Me purse for our 1 year anniversary (of the night I fell in love) and he picked it out all by himself  :)
and it was my husband who rolled over and rubbed my shoulders this morning

and it was my husband who stopped and got me a blizzard last night without even having to ask me (or ask what flavor!!)
and it IS my husband that I watch deliver God's word EVERY Sunday morning
and it IS my husband that I admire because his big ol' heart is almost as big as mine!  ha ha
and it IS my husband who can ALWAYS make me smile NO MATTER WHAT


and... well..... he still IS the guy who gives me butterflies when he says "I love you"... not just the "hanging up the phone" or "going to bed" I love you's.  You know the one I mean... when your man looks you in the eyes and says I love you and you can see straight to his soul.  YEP - still got that.  :)

and YES honey.... I know you get hot at night and I know sometimes I'm mean and sometimes I have a bad day and I'm a big ol' cry baby!!!
So MORE than anything.... it's my husband who loves me for JUST WHO I am and JUST THE WAY I am!  and it's my husband who will still be holding my hand in our rocking chairs when we're 90 years old, sitting on the front porch making fun of all the people who have been a part of our crazy happy upside down world we live in!
I love you baby  ;-)
Now if I could just get him to put lotion on my back every night.
Come on - it's winter - it's like the Sahara desert over here!!!!!!!  LOL!

approaching the new year...

I have written about change before.. but I'm really pondering this subject the closer we get to beginning a new year.

We WANT growth and change.....but at the same time, there are some things that we want to NEVER change.
And it seems it's always THOSE things that change.

I don't have much more to say about this today............ just that I've talked to several people lately (myself included) that seem to be struggling with change... adjustment... just life.
Things we WANT to change.
Things that we never WANTED to change... yet they have.
Things we thought would last forever and they don't....

It seems that sometimes, we get ourselves into situations that we just can't break through and CHANGE.  A routine, a pattern, a habit, taking people for granted, taking things for granted.... when you feel like your banging your head against the wall trying to push forward, remember this:
Change sometimes means growth
and Change sometimes means..... letting go.  Walking away.

and sometimes through the midst of all of that.... you just feel lost.
Always trying TO change...
or trying NOT to change...
or trying to find that perfect happy life
trying to find our "heaven"
or even worse  - sometimes too busy trying to fit into someone else's "heaven"

Motivational Monday - on Tuesday!! :)

.... I've already been forewarned about posting this video....
YES, you might just think it's a bit cheesy
BUT - I will tell you....
NO - I will challenge you
Watch it.... watch the ENTIRE video and tell me it doesn't touch something inside you.
I can't watch it without crying
EVERY time.... I swear.
So moving.

The clip is from the movie "Facing the Giants"
it was a low budget movie and it wasn't advertised much... there is no one "famous" in it - so it's likely that you have never heard of it.
My son and I went to the theater to see it and I'm pretty sure if he could have gotten up and moved away from me during the movie, he would have.
and I'm SURE I looked like a HOT MESS coming out of that theater.....
But it's SUCH a moving, inspirational movie.

Anyway - the clip I have posted below is from the movie.  The coach is challenging one of the players to step up.  There are TWO important points to note in the clip.
#1 - the blindfold.  Coach makes him wear this during an exercise. 
#2 - the coach.  What a pivotal role he plays...




The reason this is so touching and inspirational for me is how practical it is to apply to our every day life.

The Blindfold.  How far do you think the boy would have gotten without that blindfold.  He would have set up his OWN limitations and never pushed himself to his FULL potential.  We do this EVERY day.  We all have hopes and dreams and things we want to accomplish.  But we're so busy looking around, setting up boundaries that we can't see ourselves to our FULL potential.

Put on a blindfold and stop worrying about what you can't do and just DO IT.  Don't let other people or things distract you.  If you want it bad enough and put your HEART into it - it can be done.

The Coach.  One word.   Inspirational.  The entire time he is pushing the boy, he is telling him "you can do it.  give me all you've got"  He's inspiring him and more importantly - he BELIEVES in him and tells him so the whole time he's pushing.   Some people have friends and family that play this role.  Some people are blessed with people in their lives that believe in them THAT much, no matter what the goal is.  If you do have these people, you are BLESSED and be very thankful for that.  Just remember, to someone, you are that pivotal person too. 
Push your friends and family.  Inspire them.  BELIEVE in them!!

Back when I was going to the gym (oh how I miss that), my trainer had us carrying a punching bag from one side of the room to the other.  I asked how many times and he said everyone so far had made it across the room 3 times.  So I PUSHED myself to do it 3 times.... it hurt like CRAZY and I was pretty sure I'd never make it.  BUT - everyone else had done it, so far be it from me to not try.
I did it.
And guess what - NO ONE had done it three times before me.  My trainer believed in me enough to PUSH me.  If he had told me one time, I would have done 1 time.
So anyway - Thanks David - I still remember that day.  Even though you may have told EVERYONE that - or you may not even remember - know that you inspired me that day.


And above and beyond everything else.... remember you have a God that created you and has BIG plans for you beyond what you can even imagine.  He is ALWAYS coaching you on and telling you and showing you how much he believes in you.  Don't overlook that.  Be thankful for that and use that constant believing in you to get you through every day and to reach goals that without him would be impossible!!

Relationships are a funny thing - all of them.

We constantly poison ourselves and just about every relationship we are in.
Friends.
Boy/girl friends.
Family...
and ironically - our relationship with ourselves.

We constantly find negativity and neglect and poison, your flavor of choice, and we just dump it all around us.  Those that we love are always the ones that get hurt the most.  Oh - we always have the BEST of intentions and there is always some justification for why we do what we do - but all we do is damage. 
all around....

Preacher T and I have been married for going on 4 months now.  Right?!! 
Interesting....
4 months is not that long.... I know....
and people are still saying "So, how's married life?"
Even more interesting...
It's kinda like the question "how have you been?"
do you REALLY wanna know?
I mean REALLY????
Do we just smile and nod and say "Great.  Life is Great.  I'm Great.  Everything is just GREAT"
Yep.
That's what we do.
Because no one wants to talk about the poison.

People are funny
Relationships are funny.
LIFE is funny
Some days in a make me laugh kinda way.... and some days in a I wanna punch you in the face kinda way!

I could smile and tell you how happy I am
or I could tell you how many times I've wanted to walk away

I could tell you how lucky I am
or I could tell you how some days it's just too much

I could tell you that it's all I thought it would be
or I could tell you - it's nothing that I dreamed of


I could tell you love and passion are enough
or I could tell you that some days they just aren't even close.

I could tell you how easy it is when it's TRUE love
or I could tell you how hard it is BECAUSE its REAL love

I could go on and on about the sweet kind loving words
or I could stop you in your tracks with the secrets

I could tell you how it's always about us and making each other happy
or I could tell you about ALL the other things that push US to the bottom

I could tell you how the plans we had are all coming true
or I could tell you how it's NOTHING like we planned.

I could lie either way.

Do you REALLY want to know?

What's your poison of choice and who are you pouring it on?
Yourself?

Bring on a BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!

Well....... I did it.
I have made it through the first half of ultrasound school
HOLY COW.
I was so excited to get in......then once in and classes started, I was pretty sure I would never make it out alive.  But now - here I am - HALF WAY through
I just can't believe it!!!
The things I have learned in the short 4 months that I've been there.... well... it really is just truly amazing!
I told someone the other day "I feel like I have gone off to medical school"
and he replied "I got news for ya - you ARE in medical school"
LOL
I never really thought of it that way.
I am DEFINITELY no M.D. here..... not even close....
and I DO realize I'm NOT going to school to be a doctor - LOL - but there are definitely days when I feel like I'm training to be one!  ha ha

Anyway - I just wanted to say how much I LOOOOOOOOOVE what I'm doing.  I love learning, I love the practice and I'm sooooo happy to be walking down this path I have chosen.  (and closer to being finished!)  LOL

BOOOOOOOOOOYAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

But NOW - I'm even MORE happy to say I'm outta classes until January 10th.  I have homework to do while I'm out - BUT no CLASS, no CLINICALS, nothing... for 4 whole weeks.

BRING on CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Next week I'm putting up the tree and starting to get a little Christmas spirit around this poor ol' messy house that has been TOTALLY neglected since... oh....... about JULY I guess!  ha ha

and bring on the BLOGS!!!
I have a lot of catching up to do!!!

WHOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO
bring on my winter vacation!!!!!!  :)