There ARE people out there...

Wait.... WHAT?!
There are???

like this.....
(wait for it...)

I am in awe.
(keep waiting....)

Just yesterday I posted this blog 
(here is the link in case you missed it!)
I was fretting over my blog and some things that have happened in my life.
Worried about my lack of inspiration as of late...
And how I carry around all this bitterness and anger and resentment... and I feel like it's draining my soul.

My main point was that I felt like I needed to walk away from my blog... I felt like I had lack of direction or inspiration.  Like I had lost my original purpose in writing.
to inspire
to motivate
to truly share and wish the best for people.
I felt like there used to be all these people who followed me, and now suddenly - I don't hear from them anymore... do they still read?  Do they care?  Are they disappointed in me?

And then I got a text, a tweet actually, from my son whom has gone off to college ....
and doesn't "NEED" his mommy anymore.... cause that's what happen when they grow up - right??
And it said...

"I still enjoy your blogs. You should keep writing them, they have meaning to me."

And that's all it took.
to bring me back to where I should have been all along.

Sometimes we write (or speak) and we worry that we might say something wrong or hurt someones feelings or worry that someone will judge us or not want to be our friends anymore...
but HERE is the truth
We blog to be free.
I blog to be honest.
I blog to be me.
I blog to inspire.... to motivate... to be someone my son can be proud of.  
To be someone my son will look up to. 
I want him to know ME - the REAL ME.... not just what I chose for him to see...... I have always been honest with him... I always want him to know who I REALLY am.  Not just an "image" of what a mother "SHOULD be"
And if others do also - well.... that's just a bonus!  :)

So please allow me to continue to be me
to motivate... to inspire..... to be honest
and to NOT care if you judge me or don't like me or decide you don't want to be my friend anymore.

I am me.
Just me.(here is another link if you missed my cordial introduction of myself!  ha)
I vow to say what I feel and/or what I think
And if you can't handle it, go read someone else's thoughts!
Or just don't read MINE!

SO - After all that soul searching and some very sweet messages from some good friends of mine last night .... I happened to come across this video on facebook that someone had posted
And it broke my heart.   in a good way.
It reminded me that we are all "NOT PERFECT".
Whose job is it to decide what we are supposed to look like or act like anyway?  What is PERFECT?
We all make decisions and have thoughts that we ARE proud of... and some that we aren't!

We.  Are.  Human.

So I urge you to watch this....... have Kleenex on hand - TRUST ME on that!!!  It is especially dedicated to all you moms out there who have thoughts that you feel embarrassed to feel.
I was a single mom...... all of Zack's childhood!  And I raised a FINE OUTSTANDING young man..... of whom I couldn't be more proud.  But there are moments looking back that I DID make bad decisions.  There are moments that I am NOT proud of.  There are thoughts and decisions that I would DIE if someone had read my mind!  But they are real.  They are natural.  And it's OK.

I truly believe God gives his TOUGHEST battles to those of us who are the strongest....... and we rely SO MUCH on Him!!

Please follow the link below and read about the dad who found out his wife was pregnant with a child with Down Syndrome.  He is very honest about his feelings and the battles he fought within.
HE is a man who inspires me.
For his honesty... for his FIGHT... and for his heart overflowing with LOVE and understanding.  And I know that all the speed bumps they will encounter ahead may trip him up.... but this video proves that LOVE is stronger than anything.
And there is NOTHING stronger in the world - than the LOVE of a child.
whether it be your own by birth, your own through adoption, whether it be your nieces, your nephews, your best friends baby girl or boy.....
I promise you - there is NOTHING in the world GREATER!

Enjoy the video and I hope it touches you and makes YOU a stronger person! And if the case may be - a STRONGER PARENT.

This Guy Writes a Confession Letter to His Daughter with Down Syndrome

I am NO parent.....

I am but HUMAN....

I must admit, there are times when I love who I am today because of choices I have made... I am strong, I am independent, I am successful, I am a MOM.
But there are also days when I wish I could take so many of those steps back.
They brought me here.. and sometimes break me here.....

I have walked down a road that I never expected to walk.
I did bring a child into this world at a very young age.
I KNOW how hard it's been and I KNOW how hard I've tried.  And I'm proud of that.  Because I know there are so many other ways things could have gone.

I also KNOW how many times I failed.  I know how many times I've cried.  I know how bad it's hurt....
And I feel it when the world crashes around me.

I've gone to the wrong places, I've had the wrong friends, I've made bad decisions and I've walked the wrong roads.... I have not and will not ever claim to be perfect.

so..... before you speak....
Who are you to judge?
 Do YOU want to walk my road?
Who are you to hurt me?

When you've grown up and moved away from home and can tell me you DON'T have nights where you lie awake feeling the guilt and pain from the heartache you inflicted on your parents,
THEN you can tell me how YOU were the perfect child.

When you grow up and raise children of your own and they never talk back and never break rules and never break your heart -
THEN you can tell me how YOU are the perfect parent.

Until then - don't judge me and don't tell me how you would do things different.
It just hurts.
I don't need to relive every mistake I've made.  I don't need to be told how I mess up every day.
I can only do the best that I know how to do...
One day at a time.

I found this from another blog and had to share........

You have not walked in my shoes
You have not been down my road.
You have not cried my tears.
You have not carried my load.
Why do you judge me?

You think you know my story.
You think you know my pain.
You think you know my future.
You don't even know my name.
Why do you judge me?

You were not there to see me stumble
You were not there to see me fall.
You were not there to pick me up.
You were not there at all.
Why do you judge me?

Copyright April 2010.  All rights reserved by Sam Bristow