Maybe I talk too much
Maybe I say things before first passing them through a filter
Maybe I don't have a filter
Maybe I give my opinion when I should just be quiet
Maybe everyone doesn't WANT to hear MY story
Maybe I talk too much
tell too much
care too much
think other people care too much
But I don't care.
really...
I am who I am
I do what I do
There is no maliciousness is what I do or why I do it.
just me Never a dull moment!
Foot in mouth or up my butt.
Whatever.
Some time ago I took up a sport that I would have never have imagined for me.
Powerlifting. YES.
I'm 37 years old.... I'm a MOM....
I drank magnesium citrate this weekend in order to "make weight"...
YES... I'm a POWERLIFTER!
It's not something I would have ever imagined for me.
But it's perfect for me.... it's the epitome of pushing myself to the limit!
I have a mock meet tonight..... and I'm trying REALLY hard not to think about it!
I love the sport. I do
I love pushing myself to the edge of what my limits appear to hold.
But the TESTING of my limits..... makes me sick.
Makes me nervous
People watching me... judging me... testing me.... makes my stomach flip upside down!!
But I will do it. Cause I'm supposed to. It's part of my program.
I'll do it. I'll push myself and test myself and then I'll either be the happiest girl alive... or I'll punish myself for not being good enough.
It's what I do.
It's how I cope
I am my OWN WORST critic BY FAR!!! There was a time when I couldn't squat plates (135) But now I can do that easy... in warm ups. But surprisingly.... THAT doesn't matter anymore. What matters is I can't get 185 again... easy!!! I know I CAN do it. I should be squatting 200 easy by now. I should be.
((Here I go again..... rather comparing myself NOW to myself BEFORE.... I tend to compare myself NOW to OTHER people NOW! And it infuriates me... and DRIVES me to be better right?!!))
Never a dull moment!!!!
I do things that most won't......
Speaking of that....
we visited Waverly Hills this weekend.
Do you know what Waverly Hills is?
it's THIS!!!
an old TB Hospital where they treated people with TB. People died like in flocks there..... there's even a death tunnel where they rolled them underground and out so that others didn't see the massive number of people DYING!!!!!
Patients were crazy.. and were experimented on....
The place is dubbed (almost) #1 MOST HAUNTED place in America.
We went on a 4 hour tour of the place.
The place IS MASSIVE!!! You need WAY more time than 4 hours to go through it.
We had a guide that told us stories about some of the deaths there (suicide, abortion etc.) .... he brought up some shadow apparitions to show us... he had them light up boxes and set off alarms on the boxes and some talked to us through a radio.
We walked that DARK DARK underground death tunnel. (we turned out all of our lights and stood in the middle... you have never SEEN dark like that!) We saw bats by the flocks... We saw the morgue. I laid in a death tray. (where they laid the dead bodies in the morgue before they rolled them out). We visited the electro shock room. It was crazy!!!
I don't know that I'm any MORE or LESS of a believer after the tour....... but it was something I had wanted to do!!! CHECK
And I also know what a bat looks like up close and personal!!! And how it feels to have one buzz your head!! LOL
NEVER a dull moment!!!
Now I must set down the laptop and go prepare myself for this night.... of lifting and breaking PR's!!
WEEK NINE
(FINAL week before deload prep for Mock Meet!) Ending this cycle with a BANG!!! You'll see...
My weights are based off my max lifts, whether they be in the gym or in training.
Squat - 185, Bench - 105, Deadlift - 240
Week 9
(You can go back through my blog if you want to read all of the training logs that got me to this point!)
I'm already getting butterflies just thinking about it... as I type this blog... ONE WEEK from testing myself, I could literally just be sick! I always get this way before a meet. First of all - It makes me a nervous wreck to be up in front of people. At the same time, it's SO exhilarating when everyone cheers for you as you take the platform. Second.... It is TRULY a testament to your training!!! And although everyone usually FEELS like you're training hard throughout the cycle, getting on that platform to PROVE it is the God's honest TRUTH about where you stand and how HARD you fought to get here... it's that all telling MOMENT
And it scares me to death.
My mock meet will be held at our own gym and with all the guys I train with on a regular basis... so the being in front of people anxiety should not be so bad. But I know me... and I'm sure I'll be just as nervous!
ALSO - I'm really close to my competition weight right now... with no real strict watch on my diet.
But B-rad feels like I should use this "mock" opportunity to try to do a strict cut.
Our last actual meet, I did a NO-CARB diet for 3 weeks prior to the meet. I dropped almost 15 pounds and was really close to dropping a weight class. BUT my lift numbers were down... I don't know if it was because of my diet, or because the meet for me was one flub up after another throwing me off my game.
So manipulating my diet one week out should be interesting this time.. to see how it affects me.
WHICH MEANS....
tonight is my last night to eat....
well... I mean... to eat like I like to eat! ha ha
We are going to do a strict diet and water manipulation starting tomorrow... to see how well I can cut and see how well I can recomp prior to the actual meet!
So anyway.... this is my last log before deload and diet manipulation.... I'll keep you posted on how that is going and then of course..... MY RESULTS.... next Sunday night
Rep squats
Foam rolling/stretching
Band pull aparts 100
*I have been toying around with a wide stance squat... it really is starting to feel good. I hope I can get the weight up to my max at my previous stance...*
Wide stance squat: Bar x 8, 65 x 5, 95 x 5, 115 x 2, 135 x 1, 155 x 1, 175 - FAIL, 175 x 1 (no depth!)
Rep wide stance squats: 95 x 10, 95 x 8
Wrapped my knees and hit 155 x 2 to depth
SSB Good Mornings 60 x 8, 70 x 8, 80 x 8
SSB Olympic Squat 80 x 5 x 3, 90 x 5 x 2
Leg extension 3 x 15 (2 @ 25#, 1 @ 35#)
Plank 1 minute w/ 45# plate
Heavy bench
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
*I've been off the flat bench for weeks, since this is the week before my meet, I decided to test the flat bench out... Here goes nothing!*
Flat bench: bar x 10, 55 x 5, 65 x 5, 75 x 3, 90 x 1, 100 x 1, 105 - failed x TWO! (GRRRRRRRRRRR)
85 x 3 x 3, 85 x 5 x 1 *stopped 1 inch from chest*
Incline DB 3 x15 (20#)
Military 3 x 8 (45#)
DB shrugs 3 x 15 (40#)
Band pull downs 3 x 15
Rear delt raise 3 x 10
Here is my 100 BENCH.... that darn elusive 100........ it did feel a LITTLE easier this time...
Deadlift
Foam rolling/stretching
Band Pull aparts - 100
*Texas Deadlift Bar * Pulled ALL SUMO tonight again
Deadlift - work
up... 135x5, 155 x 3, 185x 2, 205 x 2, 225 x 1, 255 x 1 **NEW PR!**
Put on the ol' INZER here to try out some overloading... with the straps up! YIKES! I had never done this before.... boy it's a PAIN to get down to that bar in that suit....
Tried 275... FAILED. I think it was mostly because I was fighting against the suit to get in position instead of working WITH the suit. So I tried it again
275 - SUCCESS! x 1
My 275 lift success is a bit hitched yes... But I still LOVE IT! WHY?!! Because my right hand is my OVER hand and I REGRETFULLY forgot to cut my fingernails before deadlift night. So even with powdered legs, that hand full of nails sunk into my thigh skin on the way up.... I just ripped it out and kept going! This picture HARDLY does the blood justice!
Real nice....... BATTLE WOUNDS!!!
After this... dropped back down and repped out 225 x 7
Since I was already in the suit and getting used to having those hateful straps up... We decided to squat some more for my accessory work (and it's always good to get some more squatting in!)
Wide stance squats in INZER single-ply suit
95 x 5, 135 x 2, 165 x 1, 185 x 1, 205 x 1, 225 - failed to hit depth
Put a fork in me.... DONE for the night
Hips are SMOKED!!!!!! :)
Heres a couple of videos.....
My new PR of 255 on deadlift
*Keep in mind I just started Sumo form about half way through this cycle... and I've already passed my previous conventional PR in training!*
Hitting 275 in a suit *ugly and hitched a bit... but it's my first deadlift in a suit!*
205 squat in the mean ol' suit! This might be one of my FAVORITE videos EVER!!!
Bodybuilding Night
Pull aparts 100
*this is my last "official" lifting night on the Cube before mock. So for my accessory body building night... I went a BIT crazy. The boys are running Sheiko.. so as my bodybuilding accessory work, I did Sheiko! :)*
Here's how it went!
It ended up being like a THREE hour workout on Friday night........ with a BLOWN OUT pair of shorts to show for it!!! Cuz that's how I roll!
A total of 16 squat sets were done with a grand total of 56 squats.... and some bench thrown in too! SHEIKO
Squat: 80 x 5, 95 x 4, 110 x 3 x 2, 125 x 2 x 5.
Bench: 50 x 5, 60 x 4, 70 x 3 x 2, 80 x 2 x 2, 75 x 3 , 65 x 5, 55 x 7
Dumbbell flys - 10 x 5
Squat: 80 x 5, 95 x 5 x 2, 110 x 4 x 4!! *ouch!*
**I did every single squat wide stance**
Also - just for fun... in one of my first sets of wide-stance squats... as I hit depth - I blew out my shorts. Don't worry though - I finished my set... cheeks out and ALL! I finished the work out in blown out shorts with first of all a t-shirt around my waist.... then B-rad got me his squat suit which is entirely GIANT on me. I put that on over my shorts and held it up with my SpudInc belt!!
Good thing we ARE here to work and NOT for a fashion show!! ha ha
Cause I of course had NO back up clothing in my bag.
Lesson learned
Tell me THAT'S not dedication and HARD CORE!!! LOL ...... I dare ya! ;-)
Here's my 110 x 4 Wide Stance! Keep in mind I've been doing wide stance squats for.. 2 weeks/maybe 3?
So that concludes this cycle of THE CUBE METHOD........
that's it folks.
All she wrote.
Starting tomorrow...... I'll be in hell...... and likely be an evil WENCH by week end from lack of carbs.
But hey..... I'll make weight and then I'm gonna KILL SOME WEIGHTS come next Sunday
I know you'll be on the edge of your seats waiting to hear my results!!!!!!
I'm just happy Monday after that is Labor Day...... REST DAY!
Remember my blog just a few short days ago....
pre - Berea
pre - mock meet
pre - pushing myself to the EDGE!
Remember how weak I thought I felt!!
Then insert Sunday night.
April 28, 2013!!
And a big fat slap in the face and reminder of just how STRONG I'm getting!!
I am still NOwhere near the level of a lot of girls - But I'm better than I was and THAT is what counts!! And considering that I have been lifting for less than a year - I could not BE any happier than where I am right now and the drive and motivation and potential I have to get even stronger!!! I. Feel. GOOD!
And The Cube.... ahhhhhhhhh The Cube. It is brutal!!
As if I didn't already believe in the Cube Method to start with... the training and it's mixture of strength and body building exercises - but the part I believe FIRMLY in - is the mock meet in 10 weeks.
WHY?
It's just "practice" - It doesn't count because it's not on a platform right??
Well...
Here's my opinion!! (yes - I realize everyone has one...)
For 10 weeks we have beaten ourselves to death!! Towards the end of the 3rd cycle, even though I knew I had to be stronger (because on Cube you have no choice BUT to get stronger!), I still felt beaten up and weak.
I think I had some milestones in training along the way - but it was just small things in the gym. Yes - it was progress... but spread out over 10 weeks its harder to correlate that into real gains.
(or maybe that is just the case in MY head!)
SO - in my opinion - the mock meet at the 10 week mark is the BEST part of this program!!!
It may not be a certified competition - but it sure as HECK should be treated like one.
WHY? Because THIS is what we work for? This is why we train.
We don't train for "ego" in the gym... we train to compete. We train to get better.
We train to CRUSH FACES on the platform.
So by all means, even if you aren't doing a MEET at your 10 week mark, test yourself and TREAT it like a meet... with the same intensity and drive!!!
How else do you know where you stand?
Here is how mine went.
We had previously done a meet in February... my numbers at that meet were as follows:
Squat - 145 (which was already a good PR for me considering when I began lifting the squat was my biggest nemesis. It took me some time to get comfortable with just squatting with a bar on my back, much less adding weight to it!) Bench - 90 (this was a 5 pound PR for me... and more evidence that my bench just wasn't moving along like it should - it is/was my definite weak spot) Deadlift - 225 (deadlift was my favorite lift at this point - I had worked really hard to get here... but I seem to have plateaued here at the 220/225 range)
So I totaled 460 at this meet. I was shooting for 450 so I was very happy with what I walked away with.
Going into my mock meet after The Cube I was shooting for a 500 total!
But even MORE than that, I wanted to bench 100 so bad I could taste it!! I have worked and worked and worked and tried and failed at 100 numerous times - so at this point - it was really just taunting me!!
Here are my numbers:
Squat - first attempt 150 (this is already a 5# PR), 2nd attempt 170 (gravy!), final attempt 185 (NAILED it and it was exactly where I was hoping my final lift would be!)
Bench - first attempt 85 (easy opener and I definitely needed the confidence builder here!), 2nd attempt 100 (I was told it 95) **Also - add into my bench lifts, I happened to be sitting in front of Brandon Lilly. *smile* He had me change up my stuff a bit and put some leg drive in... which clearly I had been lacking!** With the changes in form and being PUSHED my Lilly and my guys.... I freaking CRUSHED 100!!! I seriously thought I was going to cry (HEY - I AM still a girl..... I'm sensitive! LOL) But I wasn't done yet. They loaded the bar with 105... I laid back, took in a big breath and Pete Rubished (aka grinded) my way through 105 too!!!
THIS my friends is WHY I lift and WHAT I live for!!!
Crossing those barriers... doing things my body thought I couldn't do!! Making gains and proving to myself that I can do just about anything I set my mind to and work towards!!!
((Again..... I could cry. I have watched that 105 video so many times it's a wonder youtube hasn't crashed. It amazes me and brings tears to my eyes EVERY dang time!!))
To you it may just be 105 pounds... but to me - it's EVERYTHING!!!!!
Deadlift - first attempt 210 (THIS gave me the 500 total that I was working for!! The rest is just GRAVY!) Killed it!!! 2nd attempt 230 (this is a 5# PR and it still went up pretty good) 3rd attempt 245 (this has me REAL close to my goal for the YEAR on deadlift of 250! That will need to be changed! I failed at 245 but watching the video, I think I just gave up.... I was soooo dang close so I already KNOW I got that 245 next go around!!!
Overall - I went 8/9 on my mock meet AND I totaled 520 which puts me 20 pounds over what my goal was going into this "practice meet"... AND 60 pounds over what I did just 2.5 months ago!
INSANE!!
Bring on June 15th - I'm going to crush FACES!!!!
I love The Cube (cause it's insane!)
I love Brandon Lilly (for writing, coaching, and for his ETHIC!)
I love my guys (for all their support and encouragement)
AND MY guy in particular (for getting me started and believing in me!)
I love lifting
I love watching and feeling my body get stronger!
I wouldn't trade my sport or this day of lifting for anything in the world right now!
What are you doing in YOUR spare time?!!
Here's my 105 grinded out bench - and my 245 deadlift that SOOOOOO should have come up!!!!
The rest of my videos are on youtube if you want to see them all. Tammy Green channel.
I fear never reaching my potential and being average.
I fear being forgotten... The past... Yesterday's news.
I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into the night.
I fear letting those I love down, or letting myself down.
I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is" mindset.
I fear dying without leaving my mark.
I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along.
These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.
I love my fear.
It makes me FEARLESS!
The time has come...... to bury the dead (Thanks ROB BAILEY)
It's MEET TIME!!!!
Last night was our last night of heavy lifting (we still have a body building night Friday) before our day of reckoning... Our TEST of strength... our " mock" meet. With Lilly. On his turf. Under his jurisdiction.
The greatest test of strength I can imagine.
Physically.
Emotionally.
Mentally.
(and I'm a freaking NERVOUS wreck... Can you tell yet?!)
But how am I feeling about my lifts!?
Squats
Well... I feel GREAT about my squat! I have PR'ed in the gym since my last meet and I know I'm gonna blow the squat UP come meet time :))
I feel confident. And STRONG!!!
( and I'm glad it's our opening lift!! ) *my previous meet squat max was 145*
Bench
As you know, if you care or follow me AT ALL... It's my scariest lift to come. When I started lifting with the boys, bench was my favorite. It felt good. And natural. But for some reason, as all my other lifts have gotten stronger, my bench seems to have remained stagnant. And uncomfortable.
But thanks to Lilly and many people who are currently running The Cube, I have gotten some great advice. My bench HAS come up... as of today, only 5 pounds. Which IS STILL progress... so I shouldn't complain. Regardless, it IS my weakest link and meet or no meet, PR or no PR, if nothing else, I can at least say - I've learned lots on what to do to build my bench. I'm looking forward to building up my lats and upper back to finally smash a good PR on bench!!
Kroc rows, lat training, bent over rows and band pull aparts... on the regular. BAM!!! *my previous meet bench max was 90*
DeadLift
Where do I go with this one?! I don't even know?! I've progressed nicely from the beginning on dead lifts. I like this pull. It's strong. BUT I did experience somewhat of a back injury during this program, which took me completely OUT of heavy deads and then into lighter weight coming back. I did train legs hard while my back was an issue, so I'm just crossing my fingers on this lift that I have at least maintained my level of strength. I feel good about it..
*my previous meet deadlift max was 225*
On top of all the training and back injury, I have started going to the chiropractor!!! (Yay for Magna!!! Thx Dr Hawley and Nikki!!).
My back has never felt so good
So adding together all of the above, the GREAT training program (The Cube), expert advice from Brandon Lilly, great feedback and tips from a great group of people on The Cube Facebook page, a GREAT group of workout partners, support from the BF, my awesome chiropractic family, and all the drive and motivation one female can fit into a body, quite frankly, I don't know how I can fail!!!!!
We will do some body building exercises Friday night. One day next week I will get in my singlet (I retired the unitard! Though this "singlet" is not any less TIGHT!) and hit the gym one night to test my openers. Just to stay loose and help with my jitters!
I'm not an exhibitionist and being in front of people sets my nerves into a spinning whirlwind of tornadoes!!!!
I will meet up with Dr Hawley for one final adjustment and then it's just Hurry Up and wait!!!
Just talking about it already has my stomach in knots!!
I'm excited to lift.
I'm excited to meet Lilly (and crew?)
But mostly I'm excited to know what progress I have made so that I can set my next goals!!!!
.... they try 'n hold me back.... they try 'n hold me back.... they try 'n hold me BACK!!! *Rob Bailey*
So I had a BIG weekend!!!
LOTS of goals accomplished and I feel pretty good about it
But for some reason - It's ALL Monday around these parts. My chipper usual sunshiny self is still sleeping at home in bed....... (with all the spring breakers!)
So I'm looking for a little motivation around here.....
In hopes of inspiring myself...
I thought I would start by sharing some good news...
LOTS actually!
First of all - I ran another 5K this weekend. It's my second one EVER and the first one that I ran was 4 years ago!! I didn't even train for this one. My time 4 years ago was 36 minutes. The one I ran this weekend was 32 minutes!!! YAY!!!! I'm soooo proud. And yes - I realize 32 minutes is not breaking any records.... but for me, an inexperienced runner and power lifter, I'm GREAT with a 32 minute 5K. Plus it was a COLOR (fun) RUN. I don't know if any of you run or care to, but it was a pretty cool experience and I will probably do it again. Other than it being cold (I'm a weenie), and we had somewhat of a delayed start time (I'm impatient) - it was really fun - and proceeds went to a good cause!!
Thanks Teri for planning it and signing us up as a team. And thanks Farrah for running it with me!!
Here are a couple of pics of me and one of my best friends before and after the race!!
BEFORE the race.....
And AFTER!!!
Second - even after running on Saturday, Sunday night was gym night.... heavy squats. My hips were sore as CRAP from running the day before. But I sucked up some pre-work out and headed out....
on a MISSION.
and I hit yet ANOTHER PR on squat!! (Thank you CUBE!)
And I feel like I left a little in the tank so I can shoot for a BIG PR when I go to our "mock meet" with Brandon Lilly and crew!!!
I remember when I was struggling SO hard to squat plates.... now I sit at 160!! (for NOW....)
Here's another video!!!
In other news.... if I haven't already told you all - one of my best friends is having her baby BOY OR GIRL in like 7 weeks! *if she makes it that far* I'm soooo excited!!! And so happy for you Kevin and Mel!! Can't wait to meet baby W!!
And another one of my besties is getting married...... in like 3 weeks!!! Congrats to Farrah and Jeremy... this has been a long time coming!! (it's about time GERMY!)
HOLY COW!!!
I mean - it's good news all around.
These are my "sex in the city" girls...... These are my "10/4", "Druggie David", "cougar", "spit dip out the window", "aquasocks", "I'm getting a divorce" MARTINI MADNESS girls!!!!
I don't know if you followed my blog WAY BACK...... but we've been through alot together...
It's funny how we used to be the BW's crew hanging out late nights watching basketball, catching up on local gossip, making fun of people....and boy watching...
NOW - we occasionally have a girls breakfast get together and/or shopping excursion and then we're ready for a nap!! ha ha
Discussions now consist of savings and retirement and wedding and baby shower planning.
MY how things have changed.
I have another birthday just around the corner....
And I am BLESSED!
I am WAY too close to 40, but I have memories to share and blessings beyond measure for every one of those years!!
I know I get to celebrate it with the best friends, the best boyfriend, the best family and the BEST son a girl could ever ask for.
Mopey Monday is over....
Have a great week everyone.
When you're feeling down - remember to count your blessings!
Posts
