Good Riddance 2011

Yeah yeah yeah........
Midnight came and went.
The ball dropped.
The world didn't come to an end.
I'm still here and it's 2012 now.
Big Whoop!
What big phenomenon happened at the stroke of midnight that was sooooo life changing?
Nothing.

My friends were all out celebrating with their significant others
My brothers with their wives.
My son out with his friends.
ALL as it should be.

Yeah - I went out with some friends.  And I had a great time.
But the clock struck midnight and everyone kissed and embraced and thanked God for the year that passed and the year to come and for the loved ones in their lives!
ME?  I just sat there alone and watched the ball drop.
Again.  Big Whoop!

I'm not a pessimist.
I'm not.
I know 2011 brought me GREAT things.  (I finished school.  I got a job.  I passed my boards.)
BUT right now - I swear all I can do is look back over 2011 and think the BIG thing I brought out was that BIG FAT LABEL on my head......... "DIVORCED!"
it's like the Scarlet Letter!

Thanks 2011
Thanks for showing me a big flat slap in the face!
Thanks for reminding me tonight that I am alone going into 2012.
thanks for also reminding me that my HUSBAND, the man I committed to love and cherish till death do us part has moved on and is ALREADY dating someone else.
Thanks for also reminding me that the person he is DATING now - he "JOKED" (and I use that term loosely) about TO ME.... while we were married - saying he was going to ask her out!  YES.  to my face!
Big fat joke right?!!!!!!!!

Thanks 2009 for bringing him into my life.
Thanks 2010 for the wedding
and thanks 2011 for showing me what a lying cheating disrespectful unfaithful man looks like up close and personal!!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bring on 2012
I hope you have something better to offer!

I"ll look at the good things in my life tomorrow.
Tonight - I'm just gonna be bitter.

~Motivational Monday~ my gift to you

Yes - I know it's Tuesday
But most of us have been off work and actually had a long weekend.  Tuesday is our Monday this week.  First day back to the grind and even though it's a short week, for some reason, they always seem harder to me!

So - here's a little inspiration for the week!
My Christmas gift to you  :)

I hope everyone had a wonderfully happy and joy filled holiday Christmas weekend.  I must say, Z and I must have been extra good this year because we were abundantly blessed!!!!  And I'm not talking just gifts here - I mean, the good stuff.   Love.  Joy.  Peace.  Family.  Friends.  Blessings all around.

I was approached over the holidays by someone asking how I'm doing.... and after all I've been through, how I'm able to stay so positive?
Truth of the matter is this..

I can choose to lay in bed every night and drown in self loathing about what I have done wrong or how I've been done wrong...
OR
I can choose to look back on the things that I did wrong, that brought me to the RIGHT place!
I can choose to look at all that I'm blessed with.
I can choose to look at all that my future has to hold!

I make that choice daily.

And so should you!

I hope that you looked at your life through the Christmas holiday and thanked God above for all you are blessed with.  I hope that you let yourself off the hook for just long enough to smile.  I hope that for Christmas you gave yourself a clean slate of forgiveness (for yourself AND others) so that you can start 2012 without any negativity held over from 2011!

That is what I wish for each and every one of you for Christmas!  :)

approaching the new year...

I have written about change before.. but I'm really pondering this subject the closer we get to beginning a new year.

We WANT growth and change.....but at the same time, there are some things that we want to NEVER change.
And it seems it's always THOSE things that change.

I don't have much more to say about this today............ just that I've talked to several people lately (myself included) that seem to be struggling with change... adjustment... just life.
Things we WANT to change.
Things that we never WANTED to change... yet they have.
Things we thought would last forever and they don't....

It seems that sometimes, we get ourselves into situations that we just can't break through and CHANGE.  A routine, a pattern, a habit, taking people for granted, taking things for granted.... when you feel like your banging your head against the wall trying to push forward, remember this:
Change sometimes means growth
and Change sometimes means..... letting go.  Walking away.

and sometimes through the midst of all of that.... you just feel lost.
Always trying TO change...
or trying NOT to change...
or trying to find that perfect happy life
trying to find our "heaven"
or even worse  - sometimes too busy trying to fit into someone else's "heaven"

Post It Note Tuesday - POST New Years...

Welcome back to Post-It Note Tuesday

Feel free to comment - or link up and post your own Post-it Notes!

You can make your own Post It Notes << HERE >> yes - that's right.....just click and go be creative!
Also - run over and check out Supah Mommy's post its and you can link up there too!

Motivational Monday :)

Good Morning and Happy Monday to you all.
The holidays are over and we are all back to work and school and back to real life  - boooo! 
But that's ok - because - January 1, you get to start all over again.
January 1 gives you an excuse to work on things in your life that need to be re-evaluated and it's a time to walk away from the past mistakes and walk towards the life you want and deserve!
(focus on the light - not on the shadows from your past!)
*I know that you can do this at any time; it's just that the "new year" gives you a nice, fresh, clean starting point  :)

So - today - for my motivational Monday speech, I'm going to share with you some "life lessons" that I recently received in an email from a good friend.  (I just picked out my favorites that are special to me personally to share!)
These are not monumental CHANGES to your life - they are just small things to think about every day and they will hopefully put a smile on your face and help you walk into 2010 happy, motivated & hopeful for what the future has in store for each and every one of us this year...if we will just choose to stop worrying so much and let God take care of us  =)

Hugs and Kisses to you all!
Enjoy!  =)

*When in doubt, just take the next small step  (don't be overwhelmed and discouraged, simply take one baby step after another..excellent advise to use with your New Years resolutions.)
*Life is too short to waste time hating anyone (this year, choose to let go of all your grudges, it's much easier to walk through life without that baggage)
*It's OK to get angry with God, he can take it (I'm not saying stay mad or be bitter, but instead, get mad and ask God to help you understand...if you will just listen - he will help you understand and you will be surprised at the sense it will make...sometimes it takes a while - be patient!)
*Make peace with your past so that it doesn't screw up your future (know that the things you have done in your past all had purpose and that they made you and brought you to where you are today!  let go of it and take the good from it)
*Everything can change in the blink of an eye; don't worry, God never blinks. (enough said..God ALWAYS has a plan.)
*What doesn't kill you really does make you stronger (I have said for years that this is my motto - but when things get tough, you realize it is SOOOO very true!  someday you will be thankful for the tribulations!)
*Burn the good candles, use the satin sheets, wear lingerie, use your china.. don't save all the good stuff for a special occasion - EVERY DAY is special!

AND FINALLY......SO IMPORTANT!!!!
*DON'T compare your life to others, you have no idea what journey God is taking them on!!

I love this song... it's such proof that you never know where someone else has been or where you might end up.  And even more importantly - you never know when you are truly making a difference in someone else's life!  Be thankful for all those moments!

BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!

NO ONE IS IN CHARGE OF YOUR HAPPINESS BUT YOU!!!

All that truly matters in the end is that YOU loved!

2010 ~Happy New Year~

 I hope everyone had a great New Years Eve last night.  Adam and I spent time with his kids at some friends.  It was a good night and a great way to start 2010.

So - in light of it being New Years Day and all, I guess I must succumb to the New Years resolution game.  So while I can sit for days and tell you all the good things in my life - I can also take the time to ponder on all that is wrong in my life that I need to work on.

First of all - the GOOD from 2009:

More Proof that I have the best friends a girl could ask for

Went sky-diving - YAY - jumped from a plane.

Took a spontaneous trip to FL for Memorial Day

 Auditioned for Bachelorette (ohhhh, YES I did - LOL)

Took Zack to his first college (UNC) basketball game at Rupp!

Ran a 5K (whoooooo hoooooooooo!!!)

Played softball with my brothers and their significant others!

(1st time ever playing..ha ha - but it was fun!)

And finally - the best thing ever to happen to me in 2009 - I met and fell in love with the man of my dreams!!!  I could not be any happier!

So - in light of all the good in my life, I have just as many mistakes made in 2009 that need to be corrected!  Therefore - I'm posting my list of "resolutions" to work on in 2010.

• First and foremost (and soooooo typical) is my finances.  I need to budget better, stop "impulse" buying and work better to pay bills on time, rather than waiting till the last day of the "late period"  ha ha.  Also want to work to get my credit cards paid off.  There is not THAT much on them and there is NO reason why I can not get that paid off and put them up.  Big thing is STOP trying to live outside my means (as my mother likes to say..)

• Another thing I want to work on is getting better organized with my schedule.  I love being spontaneous and living life by the seat of my pants, BUT some days, that's just not feasible.  I would like to make a schedule on Sunday night for the week so I know where I have to be and where Zack has to be and when.

• As clique as this may sound, I've been on the track already of getting in better shape and healthier - and I have made progress!  BUT - the thing is I have got to get back on track (done some slacking over the holidays) and I am determined to have a flat stomach by summer AND be more toned!  Better eating and schedule work outs AND RUNNING in that new organized schedule  :)

• Another personal goal - I want to run another 5K and beat my time!  (time to beat - 36 minutes!)

• One more goal for 2010 is to get accepted into the Sonography program.  This may or may not be out of my hands, but I will do everything in my power to get accepted into the program.  *mainly by starting to pray NOW!* 

That's all I can think of right now - so I wish you all a VERY Happy New Year and good luck with each and every one of YOUR resolutions!