To err' is but human...

WE.  ARE.  HUMAN.
We make mistakes.
Don't run around using that as an excuse to KEEP making mistakes - but understand that we ALL make mistakes.
Yes, there will be consequences of some mistakes, but there will also be LESSONS from those mistakes.
The most important part of every mistake is what you take from the experience.
The next most import part of a mistake is accepting that it was mistake and learning to forgive yourself!

I myself have made a million mistakes - I'm one of those that has to learn things the hard way.  I'm hard headed like that (ARIES!)
But I can fully look back after the fact and see EXACTLY where I went wrong.  I know exactly what I misread and exactly how I misinterpreted it and exactly how my action - or reaction - was wrong.  I try to take that knowledge and I file it away... and when faced with the scenario again - I TRY to make better, more educated decisions.
That's what life is.... tripping and falling down.... getting back up.... dusting yourself off.... learning a lesson - and MOVING ON!!!
"Change is inevitable.... PROGRESS is optional"
Things are gonna happen... and they are not gonna happen exactly as you think they will... and it's OK!  Let go and move ahead.
"Be smart enough to hold on... Be brave enough to let go"
Hold on to it long enough to learn from it - file away that lesson and then LET IT GO and move on.   Don't let a misstep trip you up over and over....  and definitely don't let it DICTATE the rest of your life!

And the even harder part in dealing with our mistakes.... is FORGIVING ourselves for being so silly.  For - as we like to put it - being so STUPID.
We aren't stupid.
Stop putting yourself down for making a mistake.  Don't think that when things happen "you deserve it" or your "being punished"
You aren't.  and you don't!
Give yourself permission to make mistakes - we are human... we aren't perfect.
And fact is - alot of times things happen for the sole purpose of teaching us things.... making us stronger ... making us better people.
Let yourself off the hook.  FORGIVE YOURSELF.
"Self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy"  You ARE!  KNOW THAT!!!!

Forgive yourself
You can't go around hanging your mistakes over your own head... God has forgiven you.  Your friends have forgiven you - everyone still loves you - so WHY are you torturing yourself?!
YOU  ARE   WORTHY!!!
Happiness is a choice  - choose happy!!!

Forgive others....
On top of forgiving yourself.
Know that the person who hurt you or tricked you or helped you fall down has a lesson to learn too.  You don't need to teach it to them - everyone needs to learn about life through trial and error.  So forgive them...
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.  Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
Catherine Ponder
If you are still hurt and bitter and holding things over your OWN head - it is likely that not only are you not forgiving yourself - but you are not forgiving others.  Which BARS your happiness to another individual.
Don't lock yourself up like that!

I think so many people today lock themselves into a habitual guilt ridden funk - that it becomes who they are.  You make yourself feel unworthy.... constantly holding things over your head to the point that everything that happens become penance for a "mistake" you made in your past.  Eventually this can go far enough that you truly just don't care anymore.  You go through life doing what you want with no regard to the effect it has because you feel you "deserve" it.  You live a self inflicted tortured life.
It's sad.

And the fact of the matter is - we could ALL do that!!!!!!!!  Because we ALL make mistakes!  We could link one to the next and the next and the next........until your life becomes a chain of guilt ridden self inflicted tortuous memories.
But remember - You CHOOSE what to do with your mistakes.
I'm not saying ignore them - I'm simply saying - don't let them dictate the rest of your life.

You are JUST as worthy as the next person and NO mistake you have made is any better or any worse than the mistakes that someone else has made too.  The only difference is that some of us forgive ourselves and learn and get smarter and move on - and some of us inflict pain and torture and self loathing on ourselves and become trapped in that life.

DON'T get trapped!
Don't be miserable.
Don't be weak.

"The weak can never forgive.  

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Gandhi

~Motivational Monday~ Keep Dreaming...

(or Tuesday, I'm a little late!)

So I took a little time away from my blog.  Not because I don't love you all and not because I don't need this blog.  But because I needed a mini vacay from my brain and all my thoughts and analyzing!

And now I'm back....
so fresh and so clean clean  :)

Lots of people have checked in on me over the past several months.  (some have been checking for longer than I realized!)  Lots of friends have left me with kind words, prayers, even little gifts here and there to let me know that everything is gonna be alright.
People keep asking how I am.
People keep saying they are sorry for what I'm going through.
I'm so VERY VERY lucky and thankful for ALL your kind words and support and thoughts and prayers.
I truly truly am.

So here is what I want you all to know.
I'm ok!  :)
and I'm just gonna keep on dreaming! BIG!!  :)

Someone told me recently that they were going to have to stop reading my blog because it was too sad.   I told them - it's not sad, it's HOPEFUL!  (I mean... it IS right?!)  And that person said "you are one resilient individual"
Thing is.......I choose to be!

You see.... people go through trial and heartache every day.  We are all VERY good at hiding it.  But trust me, the amazing thing about me writing here is the feedback I get in return.  Not just people supporting me, but people asking for support and prayer from me.
People - THAT is what life is all about!!!
Not pretending to be something that your not!
Not pretending you have the BEST life out there!
Not putting on a face so that everyone envies your life above everyone else!
It's not our job or our RIGHT to make others feel inadequate.
People do it to make themselves feel better.  And trust me, it makes you NO BETTER!
Get down off your high horse and open your heart and look around.

Yes.  I'm honest!
Yes.  I'm an open book!
I will tell you the truth.  I will tell you details that maybe most wouldn't.
I have nothing to hide.
Am I perfect?  Absolutely not!  But I do my best every day to make someone around me feel loved.
Have I been hurt?  yes.
Will I give up on people?  No.  Never

I had faith in a man and a marriage that let me down.
But guess what.... as much as it broke my heart going through - I look back now and I realize God saved me.  He saved me from walking down a LONG road that would have only gotten worse.
I don't believe in divorce.  I don't think God predestined me to BE divorced.  But I do think that people make decisions and choose paths against God's will (infidelity, lying, cheating, disrespecting, dishonoring) that are out of our control.  And for that reason, judge me if you will, but for that reason I DO believe that divorce is sometimes used to save one life because another is gone astray.  Rather than two falling down, at least one chooses to be saved.

I looked back one night at blogs I posted after I got married, and the fact of the matter is... as much as I loved him and believed in us.... I couldn't make him love and respect me the same.
Yes he will go on and tell people I was a hateful bitter woman and no one will ever live up to my expectations, and yes in the beginning I wanted to shout what he did to me from a mountain top and defend myself.  Yes.  There is ALWAYS an ugly side in us that wants to look better than the other person.
But here is what I have learned through all of this....

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

I forgive and move on.   And frankly - I'm just done talking about the PAST and the pain and the regret and the mistakes.  I have forgiven not just him, but MYSELF also.
And for that - the door to my future is happy and positive and WIDE OPEN!


Will I find love again with a man?  maybe!  :)    I have faith!
And if I don't find it in one man, I will find it in ALL the world all around me  :)

"All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it"

Here is my challenge to you ALL for the week!!!!!

Christmas is just around the corner - right?!  Everyone is caught up in the hustle and bustle of gift buying and the commercialism of what Christmas has become.
I read something on facebook tonight that someone did  - and it inspired me!
I am therefore passing this along to inspire EACH and EVERYone of you!!

Here is her post........

"I told myself I was going to bless somebody today. I bought a gift card while at Walmart...walked up to a complete stranger & said Merry Christmas. She looked at me like I shocked her. I told her I don't know if she needs it or not, if she doesn't to pay it forward to somebody that does. She thanked me, we hugged and I walked away. I received a blessing today as much as her.♥"

I challenge each of you to do this very thing this week!

Please please share any feedback or blessing you share or receive in this endeavor!

TRULY INSPIRING!  :)

Forgiveness - the KEY to survival

What is forgiveness?

To give up resentment of or claim to requital for; to cease to feel resentment against (an offender)

This seems to be one of the hardest concepts for our feeble human minds to comprehend.  Why?  Because everyone wants justification, vengeance, honor.... Revenge.
When someone wrongs us or hurts us in some way, our selfish pride feels some sort of obligation to hurt another in retaliation.  It's how human nature is.
Evil.
An eye for an eye...

So forgiving someone who has hurt us is hard.  It takes alot of love and faith.... and well... true soul searching and selflessness.  And it doesn't happen overnight.  Nor does it last overnight.  Most of the time, you have to forgive on a daily basis.  Remind yourself everyday that you have forgiven and let go of that pain and that need for self gratification.

The even harder thing about forgiveness is this....... you MUST forgive yourself.
People make mistakes and hurt us.  Yes.  But guess what.  We are HUMAN and we often make mistakes that hurt others along with our own selves.
At that point, you must make a point to forgive.  Not just yourself for hurting someone else (which is very important too... along with hopefully their forgiveness)
But the thing that stifles us most, is actually being able to forgive ourselves for being human.
We make mistakes.
We choose wrong paths.
We hurt people.
We are selfish.
We are resentful.
We are prideful.... oh how we are prideful.
And in that prideful persona, we put ourselves into a self inflicted bondage.
It's like our pride is so important to us that actually ADMITTING we were wrong or did wrong, is a life threatening blow to our ego.
Which gives us something to constantly hold over our OWN head.  And something we constantly feel the need to justify and "make up for".
We find ourselves over compensating in other areas of our lives in order to bury that mistake that we made.  If we make up for it in other ways, it justifies our wrong doing.

Truth of the matter is, without forgiveness of our OWN faults, you will never be happy with yourself.  And without being happy with yourself, you will never find TRUE happiness or contentment with anyone else either.  You will live a constant lie.  Habitually ridiculing and criticizing others in order to make you feel better about YOU.
"well.... at least I didn't do what HE did"
"at least I'm good at this...."
"at least I went to church last Sunday"
"at least 'so and so' likes me BETTER"
Constant rectification and justification and prideful indulgence - that I can assure you my friend will NEVER give you the peace you are so desperately looking for.

Some of you that read my blog are Christians and some are not.
Either way - you can take this to heart.
And if you have questions, comments, or opinions, please don't hesitate to share.
I read something last night that TOTALLY hit a chord with me.
It says this:
"If you ever cease to understand the value of repentance, (admitting you were wrong and asking for forgiveness) you allow yourself to remain in sin.  Repentance is a gift of God.  Our natural life can only be turned spiritual through sacrifice.  If we do not sacrifice the natural to the spiritual, the natural life will resist and defy the life of God in us and will produce CONSTANT TURMOIL.  God will not be involved in your natural lives as long as we continue to pamper and gratify it (sin, selfishness, and wrong doing) !"

People struggle every day with finding their place in the world.  Their niche so to speak.  Where they feel comfortable and can truly be at peace with themselves.  The fact of the matter is, if you have refused to forgive others or forgive yourselves and refuse to give up that PRIDE that you hold so dearly to.... God can not bless you and you WILL be in constant turmoil.

Romans 12:9-21
  ⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
 ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
 ¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:
   “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
   if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
 ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I implore you today....... search your soul and find those bitter hurtful things you are harboring inside and let them GO! 
Search your soul for those things that you feel and do on a daily basis, that you justify and hold so dearly to... all for the pure reasoning of protecting that selfish pride.
Forgive those who hurt you.
Forgive yourself for hurting others.
But MOST importantly, forgive YOURSELF for being human and let go of your past.  Believe it or not YOU YOURSELF can NOT justify the mistakes or "make up for them".  You can only let them go and learn from them and start living life better rather than living life in constant turmoil to make up for wrong doing.
Ask God for forgiveness and know that if HE can forgive you, you CAN forgive yourself.
Let yourself off the hook.
We are human.
But we are saved by grace and we are FORGIVEN!