It's not about what you accomplish... it's about what you INSPIRE!

So when I started my blog years ago - I named it "Every Day in Gray" in honor of all the gray we are each faced with day in and day out. 
The scary "UNKNOWN"
The not really yes - but not really NO situations that you face daily.
The " I like you but I don't know if I want to be with you forever" decisions.
The "I got the job but I don't know if it's for me"
The "I know what I should do - but it doesn't match what I want to do"

The GRAY

I hate the gray.
or at least I did......
or I do....
some of it...
the indecisiveness.  the wavering.  the what ifs. 
Yes then No.  Up then Down.   I'm gonna change; no I'm NOT. 
I'm better today... then I'm not.

It drives me crazy!!!

Which is precisely why today I have been putting a lot of thought into my blog.

My every day in GRAY thought VOMIT!!!

And I feel like it's lost direction.
Maybe some meaning...
(and definitely some followers!)

Some days I write.
Some days I don't
Some days I WANT to write, but I'm not sure what to talk about...
Some days I just DON'T want to write.  At all.  (those are the days I probably NEED to the most!)

Anyway - as I'm thinking through my blog today, it struck me as quite ironic with the whole gray thing.

Years ago - when I started blogging, I had a direction.
And I worked and tried so hard to get followers... those faithful readers.
When I look at my number of followers on blogger today - it's the SAME exact number as it was years ago... when I lost track of where my blog was going.
But the number of people who comment is next to ZERO
Do people even read?  or care?!!
And why do I want so bad for them to?

So I wondered... if maybe I need a new direction
and a new following.
Some of my faithfuls still follow along and I'm so thankful for that
But I wonder if my lack of direction has led people to bore of reading my dribble.

So I thought about "The gray"
And it's direction...

And I realized where my direction has gone!!!!!!!

THE IRON!!!!!
my new POSITIVE GRAY!  (no... not Christian Grey.... though that would be positive too!  HA)

I strive to motivate people.... to inspire people.... to give people hope
To BE that ray of sunshine.
I strive to be the one that you find when you are at the end of the your rope and you're falling off...
I strive to the be the KNOT that catches you and keeps you holding on and fighting to pull yourself back up.

It's what I was born for.
To drive
To inspire

For my son..... for my family...... for my friends..... for my patients... and for people whom I don't even KNOW!!!

So I'm wondering if I could start posting my workouts here.
My gym work outs... my LIFE work outs.... my goals... my diet... my inspiration.

Could I give people somewhere positive to go every morning to motivate them to do ONE thing positive that day?  Just one!!
For yourself?  For someone else...  

Because you see...... although I know there will always be haters out there who look at what I'm doing as ridiculous... (ESPECIALLY at my AGE!); I also know there will be people who WANT to be better and do more... whether it be in the gym or out??
And let me tell you - if I... me.... little "toothpick" Tammy can pick up a bar with weight on it and put it on my back and squat it to the floor and back up  --   let me just tell you -   YOU who follow along can do ANYTHING!
I am living proof!!!

My goal for my blog is to be MORE inspirational...
to inspire those who follow me
and to provide a positive inspirational environment that drives people to WANT to follow along every day and see what is new in MY GRAY little world.....
in the gym AND out!

What do you all think?
Seriously.
Do I close the blog up as a place that has run it's course?
or Push it to new levels of being inspirational and focusing more on fitness and pushing ourselves PAST our limits??!!

Thoughts?!!
Comments?!!
Followers?!!
UNfollowers?!!

Cause it sucks to be inspirational.... to NO ONE.

Here. We. Goooooo......

I am doing something I swore I'd never do. It starts with putting myself out there!!!
It's not that I was looking or found a "new" me... It's more about discovering a piece of me that I never knew was there!!!
It's embracing another piece of me. Another strength.
It's work.
It's a hunger.
It's a desire.
Accepting the before.... while working towards the "after"

I am INSPIRED
and I want to INSPIRE.....

So......

I have officially been "heavy weight training" for about 5 months now.  I CAN tell a difference in my body.  Granted, it may not be exactly where I thought I would see the difference, but it's there!!!

My legs are firmer... my arms are tighter.... my butt...  well - it's THERE.  (I was lacking in that area before!)  ha ha

Some may see this as arrogance.... or some form of bragging or flaunting or how ever you might choose to twist and turn this...

But in my eyes... I'm PROUD
When I talk about it, it's not condemning you, but it's with passion. Passion for me. Pride!! :)

As women we look at ourselves every day and think "what we wish we could change"
We wish and hope and dream and pout and complain
but we NEVER do anything about it.
There's not enough time.
I don't have the energy.
I'm not strong enough...

Trust me. I've used them all!!!

But in the end, The hunger... The desire... The will to fight... The refusal to give up is what drives you!!!
You have to KNOW what you want and fight. Push. Never give up.

This is true not just in the gym, but in life!

I have set my mind to many things and pushed my way through...
It's always hard and some days hurt more than others.
But in the end, it's ALWAYS worth the fight and the strength you gain from it!!!

A little over a week ago, I did something I never thought I could do and SWORE I wouldn't. But I survived. And I came out stronger. With a new desire to take into 2013!!

So on this journey, my sweet B-rad (who's holding my hand along the way) has started me a YouTube channel... which I'm now going to share with you. (HUGE step for me... I'm not one for putting myself out there like this.... it makes me accountable!)  I will begin this at what I consider to be just the beginning for me...
I've come a long way to get to where I am today. But my first competition is my beginning. To a fun filled healthier stronger lifestyle that I plan to embrace every day

You are welcome to join me

I know I have limits, but I haven't found them yet ;-)
And when I do - I'm gonna push them as far as I can!!

Check out my competition on you tube. Here's the link to one video but you can see them all if you so choose!!  (search for BGPR Tammy Green)

PS - We ALL wore our pink socks to the competition that day..... Breast Cancer awareness socks!  :))