LOVE does exist! (and so do I!)

Hey Hey to everyone!!!
I'm still here!!!
Oh I have missed writing....
but I've been busy, oh so busy....

doing little things.... like.... getting a second job (taking call at night)
Busy watching some NCAA basketball (GO UNC!!!)....
Busy with my son starting baseball season and preparing for that....

OH!!!! and busy........oh I don't know.......

FALLING in LOVE
and GETTING ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!

YEP!
That's right!
Just happened.... and I thought....
HELLO - what better reason to get back to my blog!  ;-)

And I wanna throw some NUMBERS at ya....
(while your picking your jaw up off the ground!)

"officially" I have been divorced 3 months....
separated for 5 months...
but the fire was gone from my marriage LONG before that.
I was married for BARELY over 1 year.

I have known my NOW fiance for..... ready for this....  under 3 months.
How many of you are freaking out right now??!!
(show of hands!)

Do you think people look at me as the "crazy" girl.... running from one marriage right into another?  Or the "crazy" girl marrying a man I hardly know!??
thoughts???

Well - ok - nevermind.  Whatever you think about the numbers....  Let it go!
I have never......
and I DO mean NEVER... been treated with so much respect and adoration by a man in my life!

Are there little things that I might not know yet?
And still lots more to learn.....??
SURE.
But in all honesty - you can say that after knowing someone for years.

What I do know is that I have never been so happy and treated so GREAT in all my life!
yeah - I know I said that before.....
But what I can tell you for sure is this:

My eyes have been re-opened to a world that I used to believe in!!!
Unfortunately, until now, I had let myself be convinced that it wasn't reality!

To all of you single girls out there...... who BELIEVE in true love and BELIEVE that there is a man who WILL treat you like a princess and adore your every trait...
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!!!
I have a man who is actually EXCITED to marry me!
I have a man who actually WANTS to take care of me!
I have a man who is interested in my life AND my son's life!
I have a man who loves the good about me and - believe it or not - loves the bad ;-)
 soooooo.....
- DON'T settle for less than that.
Don't settle for a man telling you "this is as good as it gets" when you just need to feel loved.
Don't settle for a man who doesn't just stand by during the good - but also works through the bad!
Don't settle for a man telling you that passion fades the day you say I DO - that's just life.
Don't settle for a man who puts anyone or anything before you and your relationship/marriage.
Don't EVER settle for someone who doesn't tell you and show you every day that he loves you!!!

Don't ever stop believing and giving every bit that you have to offer - to a man who really deserves it!

So while some might call me CRAZY - I call me LUCKY.
VERY lucky...
(and I'm pretty sure that anyone who's met Joe and been around us, will call me lucky too!)
I'm blessed to be a living example that even when things seem bad and don't make sense, there will be a day when you look back and realize - things happen for a reason.... the good AND what seems like the bad!!

I am one HAPPY and LUCKY LUCKY girl!!!!!!!!
True selfless passionate undying love is out there - to give AND to receive!!!  :)

Never stop believing and NEVER settle for less!

5.....4.......3.....2...1

HOLY COW - I can NOT believe how fast things are slipping up on me!!!!!!!

Baby Z started back to school today...
I start ultrasound classes in 12 days...
Wedding is in 17 days...

Engagement pics are done - so I thought I would take a minute to share some of those with ya!
still a million little things to take care of...
music cd's
finalize the food menu
finalize the flower order
I don't even have my jewelry yet
still have bridesmaid gifts to purchase
blah blah blah.........

but in the meantime......
check these out from my AWESOME photographer friend.... Morgan Marie

Bachelorette party SATURDAY!!!!!!!
MORE pics to come from then........

NOW...............
I gotta go get busy!!!!!!

Wedding - Saturday, August 21 - 6:00 PM...  at Plum Springs Baptist Church

All of our friends and family are welcome  :)

gave up the ghost.... I'm gonna JUMP!

Sometimes...
you just have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.




Kobi Yamada



You know how you go through life and you take little small "leaps of faith" here and there.

Well - effective today - (actually I've been leading up to this for a while...)
anyway - effective today - I'm taking like FOURTEEN leaps of faith all at one time!

Yes that's right.
Throwing caution to the wind...
completely 100% putting my life and world in God's hands.

NOT that I don't do that every day...
but do you ever come to a point where a decision needs to be made... and then another one... and then another one???

You see... I'm not a patient person.  I'm just not.
I have prayed for patience... begged for it actually.  I want to know the answer before you ask the question.  Waiting games just drive me INSANE.

{I think back to when I started this blog.....every day in GRAY... the unknown.  I hate it.  Black and White.  That's what I like.  Right or wrong.  Yes or No.  Go or stay.....  none of this wishy washy depending on others what if's crap.  Well - after over almost a YEAR of blogging....I have learned....  the gray is where we GROW!!!}

So - here I am - jumping WIDE OPEN into all kinds of Gray!!!  and while there are and still will be times when I'm scared and I freak out (thank goodness for T!)  most of the time, I TRUST that God has a plan for me and he puts me in situations where I learn, and grow, and witness and become a better person.

SO - I stop asking questions and I thank God for holding me in his hands.

As most of you know - I am getting married in ...... approximately 5 weeks now.....  LEAP of faith!  ;-)
I love T - I know that.  and I KNOW he loves me.  That isn't the leap.  THIS is a whole new life for me.  Sharing.  Loving.  Making decisions for a family, not JUST me & Z anymore.  Living with another person.  Learning another person......
LEAP.

I start school in approximately 4 weeks now.  This is not night classes part time when I can squeeze them in.  I have done that for years.  Heck - that's how I got my degree from Western.  No No... this is FULL TIME 8 AM - 3:30 PM  Monday - Friday real life "going back to school."  Add on top of that clinicals in several different locations at different times, different days.  THIS is a full time commitment.

Do you remember that I work FULL TIME people.
I have a mortgage, I have a vehicle, I have bills, I have to eat, we need gas.....
Going to school full time, does NOT pay the bills.
So remember not too long ago - I got a second job.

well........turns out - no matter HOW superhuman I think I am..... there aren't physically enough hours in the day to do EVERYTHING.  {shrugs...}  Who knew?!!

So - once I got accepted into school (remember that?) - I tendered a resignation at my full time job.  Knowing I would be in school full time, I knew there was no way I could be in two places at one time.  HOWEVER, because I have been at my current job for YEARS and I have the best boss in the world - we have talked and talked and talked about how in the world I could possibly go to school and somehow maintain my position in my job.  No matter how much we have talked and thought and worked and brainstormed.... it just isn't possible.

So today.... I gave up the ghost.

Although I gave notice long ago.... today was sort of a ton of bricks for me.  I don't know why today - of all days it hit me. 
But it did.
I have resigned from a full time job.... to go to school FULL TIME instead.
and work part time at my second job as my full time means of income......

OH Lordy Lordy Lordy....... what have I done?!

I'll tell ya........

I JUMPED.
I took a leap of faith..... (wonder if T wanted to take that jump straight from the alter!  ha ha)
I'm kidding.
He has been nothing but supportive.

I know (as does my T!) - that God would not have opened the doors he has opened and put me in places he has put me, if he didn't KNOW that me and my new family will be just fine.   He will hold us in his hand where he always keeps me.

So......... here.........we ........... GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

and  once again - so sorry I have been SOOOO absent from the blog world.
Been planning a wedding, planning for school, planning for new members in the house, working two jobs, ohhhhh - and did I mention - PLANNING A WEDDING...ha ha
Things are going well.....
Life is good
and as I jump through life from cliff to cliff - Life couldn't be any better and I couldn't be any HAPPIER!!!!!!

PS - I don't know if you follow Scope or not - but I have been reading about he and Cora's wedding and I am soooooooooooo excited!
Stop by and tell them Congrats!!!!!
Both of them share pre-wedding and wedding stories that are sooo touching and sweet - AND freaking HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!
Go now.....
go on...

I'll be back.....
hopefully more frequently.....

I have engagement pictures to share and a FUNNY FUNNNNNNY FUNNNNNY {a little private} story to share on myself........  I'm still debating on whether or not I WANT people to know this!!!!  But I can assure you - every time T and I look at our engagement pics - we will have a nice "PRIVATE" laugh!  LMAO!

and without further adieu.....

GUESS WHO'S GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody been wondering where I've been hiding???

under a rock?

at the funny farm?

in jail for killing my TEENAGE holy terror???

NOPE!

I've been getting engaged!!!!!!

yup!

That's right!

Preacher T proposed!

Anybody wanna know about it??????

huhhhhhh - huuuhhhhh.....any....one....??????

So here's how the story goes

{hope he doesn't kill me!}

Last Saturday I spent the day with my girls laying out in the baby pool

Yes.  That's right.  You read that right.  BABY pool...... yeah - you "might be a redneck" if..  ha ha.

It was HOT though.....  a girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do to get some TAN on!!!

Anyway - T had his daughter with him and when I talked to him - they were shopping.  Remember this was the Saturday before Father's Day so I assumed they were shopping for T's dad and for T ;-)

I had to work at the restaurant that night so I didn't really expect to get to see T that day.

But I was pleasantly surprised when I got a text from him telling me that he was coming downtown later.  Now - for the record - T NEVER goes out anywhere when his daughter is with him.  So while I was thrilled to get to see him later, I found it rather strange.

I worked all night that night - and later realized he had sent a text saying that he wanted to see me later, to "take a walk down memory lane"

Awwwwwwww.......

I couldn't wait to get off work to see him.

So when I FINALLY did......it was by then around midnight!

I sent T a text and told him I was finished  (at this point expecting to meet up with him outside work downtown somewhere)

But I got a reply back saying to meet him at church.  (ODD?)

but no big deal.....I thought it was rather sweet and expecting that he just wanted to sit around talking about the good times.  {{he's sweet like that.... but don't tell him I said that!}}

So I leave work and meet him at church (reminder:  this is his church... where he is the preacher.  And the church that he started 2 years ago...)

When I go in..... I won't go into all the details, but those of you who have been following around for a while - know that we've had some ups and downs lately.  He then spent a little time apologizing for any pain he had caused...

but here's the thing... Pain or Not - we came through STRONGER than ever and I'm lucky to have him.  I'm lucky to have him in my life!

So after we talked (or really I guess HE talked) he walked up and picked up his guitar.  and said "this song says it best"

And he played this.......

{and NO "you might be a redneck if" comments here.....   I LOVE THIS song.... and it's soooo my man!}

After he finished the song  (never looking at me during the song...  probably a good thing because by THIS point - I was a gushing crying mess!  which is why he couldn't look at me.  SOMEBODY had to hold it together here!)  ha ha
After he finished.... he walked over and picked me up from the chair and held me.  We just stood there.. holding on to one another and well... just crying....  (SOOOOOOOOO sweet!)
{he was a blubbering mess....hee hee.... bless his little heart!}
and then......
he told me he loved me and that's why he wanted me to know he didn't want to go through another day without me....
and he dropped down on one knee and got a ring out of his pocket.....
and asked me to marry him  =)

Of COURSE I said yes.
Right there in his arms... standing in the church - where we began another new journey together.... walking together hand in hand.....in God's will.  The entire journey  =)

So - I could not BE any happier.

And get this....... so cute.  He had left his little girl, who had spent the day with him shopping for my ring, and when he left her - he told her what he was going to do.  When he got back home that night, his little girl was waiting up to see what I said....  because she had asked him before he left what he would do if I said no.  He proceeded to tell her he would just have to punch me in the face!!  ha ha    I'm sure she was relieved to know he didn't have to do that!  LOL

Since that night - we have set the date, booked the church, booked the reception hall and are in the process of getting together the guest list.  (We've been busy little bees!)
I'll catch you up on wedding updates as they come along...

but for now - the most important thing is this....
in approximately 8 weeks, I will stand in front of God, family & friends and promise to love this man and EVERYTHING that comes with loving him, until the day I leave this earth.

It's hard to imagine that God will bless me any more than he already has......but I believe that he will.  I believe there are many many many MORE good things and blessings to come in our life that we will share together!

and I can't WAIT to see what's in store.....

{{stay tuned for Wedding updates....  August 21st is the BIG DAY!}}