She Designed a Life that she Loved

and she didn't even realize it.
*That's gonna be my new book title*!  LOL

You know - we have choices every day.
Some we take so seriously and some are just made on a whim....

But I realized today... I HAVE designed a life that I love!

I had a conversation with my son recently.  *he started college this year*
He is - as were almost all of us at that age - wondering about his path.
College... career.... school... CHOICES.
Those life altering decisions we make.
He's trying to find direction.  (and I applaud him for that!)

my advice....
"Sit back little one and enjoy the ride"

Don't get me wrong... we should have plans.
Goals.
a Focus.
Somewhere you desire to be in life.

But don't get so overwhelmed in WHERE you are going that you close your eyes and miss the journey.

I am 37 years old.

When I look back over my life .... just starting with high school graduation... it's as though I have lived a million little lives all rolled into my ONE big life!
And even though there were times that I didn't know HOW I would make it through... I did.
And I look at them now and smile.

When I graduated high school - I had NO idea who I was OR who or where I wanted to be.
I WAS caught up in the moment.
maybe a little TOO much  ;-)
And I definitely have scars from it.

But I smile now.

People often ask if you could go back and change things in your life, would you?
And everyone says NO.  "Everything happens for a reason"
and that is true.
But lets just be honest.
If you COULD, you WOULD.
You would take what you know NOW and USE IT for back when you didn't have a clue!
Don't lie!
It seems that you could be so much further in life with the knowledge that you have now.
On paper, that would just seem to make sense.

Maybe the heartaches wouldn't have hurt so bad....... you would have known better

Maybe the money would have gone to smarter places.... you would have been more financially wise
Maybe the time would have been better spent... you would be more together and organized
Maybe the lack of direction would have been shorter lived... you would have known where you wanted to be.

~ BUT ~

Maybe

Maybe

Maybe

......maybe the heartaches TAUGHT you things and shaped your heart into what it is today... maybe they taught you to LOVE... to really LOVE.   Above and beyond no matter what.

Maybe that tender place you have in your heart for young single mothers would be dark and cold... maybe you learned COMPASSION.... on a whole other level.

Maybe the lack of direction and confusion that left you scared and bewildered TAUGHT you PATIENCE... maybe you learned to APPRECIATE a job and even more so a job with PASSION.

Maybe the waste of time that you spent bouncing around from jobs and people and places and circumstances TAUGHT you how to know a REAL friend when you see one.
Maybe that time "wasted" wasn't wasted at all.
Maybe you have memories that you can look back on and smile and know they never be replaced.

Maybe you wouldn't have had all those "nights at BW's with the best girls ever"
or those early morning shifts at Raffertys with people and managers that you STILL refer to today!

Maybe you wouldn't have all those memories with a son who KNOWS you better than almost anyone on this planet.  Maybe you wouldn't have the inside jokes about "Friends" or "Spongebob" or "late night drive bys" or "Nancy" or "Moach"

Maybe you couldn't look into your child's eyes and know there are lessons and morals and values and respect  and LOVE that YOU taught him... you showed him... you instilled into him.

Maybe the LOVE and PASSION and APPRECIATION and PRIDE and HONOR and COMPASSION and PATIENCE would not even be there today......

if you didn't Design a Life that you LOVE!

Dream big.

Make plans

Have goals

and know that EVERY decision you make is designing a life for you to love.

Know that when you are 18 or 22 or even 29 - you may not see it or understand it.
But you will....
That's what your 30's are for.

You will know who you are, where you are and what really is important.
And you will appreciate all of life's journey!

And on that note - I will soon be redesigning my blog in order to more accurately represent WHO I AM, what I stand for - and the life that I HAVE DESIGNED!!!