RIGHT NOW!!!!

One of the first things to do in order to grow as a person is to admit your faults.  Admit your weaknesses.  Forgive yourself for your shortcomings!!!

 Makes sense.... right?!!

Wanna know my biggest one?!
I don't have a problem admitting it.....
(shhhhhhhh - don't tell anyone!)


It's patience
I have none.  With anything...
myself.... my child sometimes.... life... whatever it may be?!

I'm a child of instant gratification.
I'm an impulse shopper... I'm an impulse vacationer.... I'm an impulse skydiver!!!
((PS - I just like to refer to it as SPONTANEOUS!!!)

OK - so I know this.
I have admitted it time and time again.

My question is - HOW do you get past that?
Is there somewhere I can go to BUY some patience??!!!
Cause I need plenty.

If admitting it is the first step - whats the next step??
Someone told me to pray for patience one time.  BUT I remember distinctly a woman I went to church with saying DO NOT PRAY FOR PATIENCE, because God will give you trial after trial after trial until you LEARN patience!!!
I've had my share of trials...... I have!!
And It's not that there is anything wrong.
Life is good.

But I was reminded again today that I have no patience.  Just for example, I have been "lifestyle (diet) changed" for 3 whole days now....  THREE
And I got on the scale today.
Wanna know what it said.....
it LAUGHED!!!!
It taunted me with ONE FREAKING POUND.
ONE!

Now granted I just changed my diet 3 days ago, but I started exercising last week.
Can I see a little fruit of my labor (passing up all those blizzards and chik-fil-a and mexican and well... just eating out!)?!!  LOL

I'm really ok.  Most days I'm fine.  Most days I don't think about it...
but then I drive past that yellow convertible camaro and I want it now!!!!!  (dont' get me wrong, I know I have other things to take care of first, but it aggravates me nonetheless that I can't just go to the dealership TODAY and have it in my driveway tonight.)

Patience.
Yes.
If you know where I can get some, let me know  :)

(my "swole" coach would appreciate it too!  ha!  I'm already on his nerves with "what results?  I see NO results?"  )

PS - I'm SURE there are many other character flaws I possess, but THAT one is my vice...  my Achilles heel... the one I can't seem to conquer.

I'm bringing sexy back!!

GAME ON!!!!!!!!
Today is the big day....
(well... one of many big days to come)

Today is the day that I get my "sexy back"  ha ha

Today I begin my new lifestyle diet!!
Last week I started at least making an effort to walk/run a few days a week... got my feet wet.
and it got me wanting more.....

So starting today - I'm on a high protein, lower calorie diet (thanks to my "swole" coach B!)

I'm not going to get all crazy on ya - but I am starting a new diet, a new workout plan... and a new ME!
It's time to get this butt back in shape and bikini ready!  ha ha    Cause it is soooooooo not right now!

I DO plan to take before and after pics....
BUT
you can't see the before pics until the AFTER pics are better
I have to have something to be proud of before I go showing my J-E-L-L-O!!!  ha ha

So anyway - HAPPY MONDAY to you all!!!
Some words to make you smile......

We are what we repeatedly do.  EXCELLENCE, therefore is not an act, but a HABIT!  ~Aristotle~

(change your daily actions until they become habit!)

If you want to succeed in the world, you must make your own opportunities as you go on.  The man who waits for some seventh wave to toss him on dry land will find that the seventh wave is a long time a coming.  You can commit no greater folly than to sit by the roadside until some one comes along and invites you to ride with him to wealth or influence.  ~John B. Gough~

(go jump out of a plane if you want, if it pushes you and/or motivates you.
If it's not a plane, do something!  Motivate yourself!)

Nothing great was ever achieved with enthusiasm  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

(do it till you LOVE it!!)

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true ~Leion J. Suenes~

(Dream dreams... have goals.... and push yourself to the edge of a ledge
- it's the only way to grow!)

YES - I am still reeling off my SKY DIVE - and I will ride this wave as long as it keeps me positive, focused, and driven!!!

Have a GREAT Monday......  set some goals for yourself today - something you've always wanted to accomplish.  And when you set it - BELIEVE you can do ANYTHING!!!!

and remember........

Pain 

is weakness 

leaving the body!!!!!!

(no matter what kind of pain it is) 

"Now you know why the birds sing..."

Just in case you don't follow my facebook page - I am back home, safe and sound, from my skydiving adventure yesterday!!

I'm STILL reeling from the adrenaline high and the absolute RUSH from the whole thing!  It's just something that you can't put into words.

And as a side note - if there are ANY of you out there considering a skydive - I HIGHLY recommend
Sky Dive Kentucky.  It's in Elizabethtown, KY.  If you are even remotely close to there - Go there for your jump and be sure to tell them I sent you!!!  ha ha    I have jumped with Mike Trick and Larry - my videographer was Kevin.  They and the entire staff there are FANTASTIC!!!  Even if you are nervous (or scared to death), they help put your mind at ease and talk you through every step along the way!  Seriously - they are sooooo much fun!!!  I honestly would go up there every weekend if I had an endless supply of $$$$!!!  ha ha
Of course I was informed yesterday that the CHEAPEST way to keep coming back is to get my skydiving license and start doing solo dives........ hmmmmmmmmmm....  Do I have that in me????!!

Oh.... and if you DO decide to go - LET ME KNOW - I'm SOOOOOO there with you!!!  duhhhhh....

Well anyway - on our dive yesterday, Larry says to me as we're cruising around under the chute - and while I'm just absolutely awestruck at the view and the feeling, he says "Now you know why the birds sing...."  What a fantastic thought....  He's right..... heck I wanted to sing - and I CAN'T sing!!!! (so I didn't... Your welcome Larry!  ha)
Up there, there are no words for the freedom and exhilleration and just.... I don't know... weightlessness; not a care in the world feeling that you have. 
And then once you hit the ground - it's like.... you can do ANYTHING!!!  Even though I jumped with someone strapped to my back (I'm sure solo sky divers think us tandem divers are weenies!  ha ha)  but regardless, even though I was strapped onto someone, when I hit the ground, it was like "I CAN DO ANYTHING!!!"   ANYTHING!!!

Like I'm pretty sure if I wanted to ask Adam Levine out on a date right now, if I had his phone number, I would TOTALLY just call him right up and ask!!!  (does anyone have his number by the way?!  or maybe an email address??!!  ha ha)

But seriously....... coming off that jump  - today I feel brand new.
I feel empowered - I feel invigorated - I feel like I can do anything!!!
I just floated with God.... on his wings... he was right there with me...  He's got this... heck he's got whatever I can dish out... right?!!!
He didn't make a mistake when he made me!!!  :)

So on that high..... I'm gonna break out the books and get back to studying - I just made myself get online and sign up for my next Board exam... the more you do the better, and the more you do keeps your mind in tip top shape!!!
Don't ever slow down, life will pass you by!!!

Push the envelope

Live life to the fullest

Always have goals

Always have PASSION

and MOST importantly...........

don't ever let ANYONE take ANY of that away from you just because they have none!!!!!!

Insanity much?!!

I love my life
I do
I am one lucky lucky happy girl!
I am blessed beyond what I deserve.... by far!

Today (well for a few days actually) I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and I need something exciting.
Sooooo - in a desperate need to feed my soul some super excited adrenaline rush - I will be driving to Etown shortly........

to throw myself from a perfectly good plane!  :)

I've requested joiners, but I can't seem to find any takers  (hmmmmm) ....  that's ok - today is for ME!
(although my son would totally go with me, he isn't old enough - but mark my work - a SKYDIVE will be a graduation gift!!)   It's unbelievable!!!

Well - anyway - just wanted to share my exciting news....
And put this out there.....

IF - God forbid - something were to happen today - I know that I have been blessed.
I have loved and been loved and I  have looked into the eyes of my child and been blessed.
If it is my time, it is my time so I have no fear!!!!

whooooooo hoooooooooooo
Pictures and video to come later!!


HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO AND DERBY DAY!!!!!

Didn't mean to start a war....

I swear it's a constant battle over here....
about EVERYTHING!!!
I wish they would just get on the same page!
It's ridiculous and it's pulling me in two different directions almost every day!
about EVERYTHING!!
And tearing me in two.....

One says one thing.....
one says another....
I know what my head KNOWS is the right thing to do
but I follow my heart almost always...

DANG-IT - it seems like EVERY time I follow my heart, my head says "told ya so!'
Grrrrrrrrrr

I'm not just talking relationships here people.  I'm talking about life!!!!


The one million choices that we deal with on almost a daily basis....
which do YOU follow?
Your head or your heart???

I almost religiously follow my heart
KNOWING that my heart leads me....and KNOWING that there is a chance my little heart will be hurt....
I'm smarter than that most times.... but I do it anyway!!

 

Do I have a better head or a better heart????

I say ... head

no no no - HEART

no - wait.... head.

My heart should be pretty smart - but it's not.   Well maybe it is.  

Yeah - that's what I'm going with 

My heart IS smart - I have a BETTER heart than head...  heck - I have a better HEART than most!!!

The problem is not MY heart....

the problem is that no one else out there thinks with their heart anymore.

No one cares about anyone but themselves anymore.

NO.  ONE.  HAS.  ANY.  HEART.

PERIOD.

People are too focused on outdoing and outsmarting someone else to think with their hearts anymore.

Well I don't care.

You may try to break my heart... but my heart is BIGGER than that and it can take all you can dish out!

The heart is a muscle - and just like every other muscle in your body, the more you work it out - the bigger and stronger it gets......

Mine is HUGE and strong enough to take what this world can throw!

I CHOOSE HEART!!!!!

 

To err' is but human...

WE.  ARE.  HUMAN.
We make mistakes.
Don't run around using that as an excuse to KEEP making mistakes - but understand that we ALL make mistakes.
Yes, there will be consequences of some mistakes, but there will also be LESSONS from those mistakes.
The most important part of every mistake is what you take from the experience.
The next most import part of a mistake is accepting that it was mistake and learning to forgive yourself!

I myself have made a million mistakes - I'm one of those that has to learn things the hard way.  I'm hard headed like that (ARIES!)
But I can fully look back after the fact and see EXACTLY where I went wrong.  I know exactly what I misread and exactly how I misinterpreted it and exactly how my action - or reaction - was wrong.  I try to take that knowledge and I file it away... and when faced with the scenario again - I TRY to make better, more educated decisions.
That's what life is.... tripping and falling down.... getting back up.... dusting yourself off.... learning a lesson - and MOVING ON!!!
"Change is inevitable.... PROGRESS is optional"
Things are gonna happen... and they are not gonna happen exactly as you think they will... and it's OK!  Let go and move ahead.
"Be smart enough to hold on... Be brave enough to let go"
Hold on to it long enough to learn from it - file away that lesson and then LET IT GO and move on.   Don't let a misstep trip you up over and over....  and definitely don't let it DICTATE the rest of your life!

And the even harder part in dealing with our mistakes.... is FORGIVING ourselves for being so silly.  For - as we like to put it - being so STUPID.
We aren't stupid.
Stop putting yourself down for making a mistake.  Don't think that when things happen "you deserve it" or your "being punished"
You aren't.  and you don't!
Give yourself permission to make mistakes - we are human... we aren't perfect.
And fact is - alot of times things happen for the sole purpose of teaching us things.... making us stronger ... making us better people.
Let yourself off the hook.  FORGIVE YOURSELF.
"Self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy"  You ARE!  KNOW THAT!!!!

Forgive yourself
You can't go around hanging your mistakes over your own head... God has forgiven you.  Your friends have forgiven you - everyone still loves you - so WHY are you torturing yourself?!
YOU  ARE   WORTHY!!!
Happiness is a choice  - choose happy!!!

Forgive others....
On top of forgiving yourself.
Know that the person who hurt you or tricked you or helped you fall down has a lesson to learn too.  You don't need to teach it to them - everyone needs to learn about life through trial and error.  So forgive them...
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.  Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
Catherine Ponder
If you are still hurt and bitter and holding things over your OWN head - it is likely that not only are you not forgiving yourself - but you are not forgiving others.  Which BARS your happiness to another individual.
Don't lock yourself up like that!

I think so many people today lock themselves into a habitual guilt ridden funk - that it becomes who they are.  You make yourself feel unworthy.... constantly holding things over your head to the point that everything that happens become penance for a "mistake" you made in your past.  Eventually this can go far enough that you truly just don't care anymore.  You go through life doing what you want with no regard to the effect it has because you feel you "deserve" it.  You live a self inflicted tortured life.
It's sad.

And the fact of the matter is - we could ALL do that!!!!!!!!  Because we ALL make mistakes!  We could link one to the next and the next and the next........until your life becomes a chain of guilt ridden self inflicted tortuous memories.
But remember - You CHOOSE what to do with your mistakes.
I'm not saying ignore them - I'm simply saying - don't let them dictate the rest of your life.

You are JUST as worthy as the next person and NO mistake you have made is any better or any worse than the mistakes that someone else has made too.  The only difference is that some of us forgive ourselves and learn and get smarter and move on - and some of us inflict pain and torture and self loathing on ourselves and become trapped in that life.

DON'T get trapped!
Don't be miserable.
Don't be weak.

"The weak can never forgive.  

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Gandhi

Never enough

as women, we are our worst critics
for SOOOOOOo many reasons....
We will literally run ourselves to the GROUND to keep from letting someone say that we didn't do "enough" or we didn't "pull our weight" or we don't "look" a certain way...

TRUE?

Well today I got up well before I had to be at work.  I showered and when I got out, instead of looking at myself in the mirror and judging myself and then hurrying to put on a robe and cover myself - I spent some time just being thankful for WHO I am and what I am.  Instead of looking at myself and making a mental list of things I need to do to better myself... instead of being my worst critic.... today I decided to start my day differently.

I am officially closer to 40 than 30 this year (thanks to another birthday)  and honestly - I am VERY proud of who I am - INSIDE and OUTSIDE!!!!

I walked around my house... that I bought... ME - MYSELF.... and I looked around at all the things its filled with.  I did that.  I looked upon a wall where my degrees (that's plural!) hang... an education that I pushed myself to pursue and paid for myself (well... I'm still paying for it! ha)...  I walked upstairs and looked around at my teenage son's room (which is not surprisingly... a mess) and I took a minute to thank God for the strong smart independent young man that I have raised....
I walked around my house this morning... not hiding a thing... not pretending a thing.... not running.  Just looking at myself for who I truly am and everything and everyone I have surrounded myself with and I smiled.

Society and people around me may look at me and think ugly judgmental things.... ya know.... I need to lose weight, I need to work out, I need to wear different makeup, I need to wear different clothes, my house is too small, I haven't done enough, I've failed my child, WHATEVER they want to say........

But today = YOU can't phase me!!!

I love me.
I love my life.
It may not be what YOU think it should be..... but every day I stand on my own two feet and I fight through yet another day and I do and give as much as any one person can do or give!

And for that........ I'm proud of me!  :)

You'd be surprised at how much better your day and attitude can be if you just start your day being happy with who you really are and all that you are blessed with - rather than letting any fool make you feel like any less!

Have a GREAT Tuesday - look at yourself for everything that you ARE today, as opposed to everything you are not.

MUCH love!!!!
You don't have to WATCH this video - but push play and put it on repeat and minimize it.... chill out and enjoy your day!