What happened to happily ever after?!!

Yes - I have been absent from my blog for a bit..... 
LIFE just seems to be too much these days.  (I seem to have lost myself... if anyone finds me, please return me to ME immediately!)


Soooo.... after I received an email, I thought how ironic given her topic of guest post she sent me...

So today - can I present.... without further adieu... 5 Tips for a Mindful Marriage!
Hope you enjoy....


I'll be back real soon!!!!

5 Tips for a Mindful Marriage

 Byline removed by request

You still remember when the thought of that white dress made joyful butterflies bounce inside your stomach. You can still recall when dinner and a movie was the most passionate date on earth, but now, things are winding down. That honeymoon phase—the period before kids or job stress steps in to take its proper place within the marriage—is coming to a close. This is a good thing. You’re not going to be living in fantasy love land forever, and reality love land is just as enjoyable if you understand that reality love land is a different place from fantasy. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you exit that honeymoon phase and move on to the jobs and kids and school schedule phase of your journey together. I promise it will be just as good, if not better.

1. Take time to communicate. When you and your spouse are standing across the great divide that is your kitchen in the morning, take a few seconds to discuss each other’s days, plan your schedules, see what the other might want to grab for dinner or watch on TV. You don’t have to be planning a romantic night out or discussing all the problems of the world to catch a few moments of couple time.
2. Take time for yourself. Being a spouse and parent, an employee and a friend, or any of the other countless hats you wear, is going to take its toll. You have to learn to take time for yourself, even if it’s fifteen minutes after you get home from work before you start planning dinner. Take some time to reflect on your day on your own, this way you’ll be less stressed and more willing to deal with your family’s issues and your spouse’s needs.
3. Take time for your spouse. Just like you should take time for yourself, you should take time for your spouse as well. Ask him how his day was, see if he wants to make any interesting plans. Let your spouse know that you’re listening, because it’s only when you’re truly listening that he’ll be willing to open up.
4. Take time to cherish your family. Just like you need alone time and time with your spouse, your family will also bring you closer. Take time to watch the kids play on their floor if they’re very young, or go to your son’s basketball game together and have ice cream afterwards. This is the reason you’re together, this is what makes your life happy and so take time together to cherish it.
5. Take time to understand and appreciate each other’s uniqueness. You did not marry a clone of yourself, in fact if you had, you’d probably not get along very well. Your spouse has a unique self, a self that you fell in love with because he was not like any of the other people that you’d ever known. Take time to cherish and understand that uniqueness. Also, allow your partner to see and understand the uniqueness in you. Sometimes as that honeymoon phase ends and life becomes life, we forget all the wonderful reasons we’re together, the reasons that are still prevalent if we take the time to see them.

Movin on UP!

to the East side....
I finally got a piece of the piiiie!!!  LOL

so.....
GUESS WHAT!!!
I'm just here to brag...
just a little...
while still being HUMBLE because I still KNOW my place on the food chain

BUT

I'm all about recognizing baby steps
or ANY steps - when they are in the RIGHT direction!

GUESS WHAT I did today?!!

I did THREE ultrasound scans today ALL BY MYSELF!
that's right!
just me, the patient, and an ultrasound machine.

And it was three different studies.  One of which being an OB scan... 20 week baby which is the longest most intense study I can think of (as of now anyway.... still being a dummy newbie and all)
Now - GRANTED - a real TRAINED tech comes in behind me and takes better more pictures, and takes the pictures I might have forgotten been unable to get... and the measurements that I screwed up didn't get quite right....

BUT

regardless.... I felt somewhat accomplished today.
at least a little more confident.

and CONFIDENCE along with education, and training and LOTS of experience is a KEY component to a long healthy and HAPPY career choice!  whooooo hooooooo!!!
RIGHT!??

PAINT ME HAPPY!
and bring on the weekend!!!!!!!

BRING. IT. ON.

Today is my first day back in the saddle.
First day back in class.
It was pretty easy squeezy going back to the classroom.
Watched a movie.
went over the new syllabus...
then it HIT

the new grading scale....
the new online class added on top of real class and 4 days now in a clinical site doing scanning...
ALL the homework...
all the extra time needed this semester...
how CLOSE it is to graduation...
no WAIT - how CLOSE it ACTUALLY is to taking registry tests!!
MULTIPLE TESTS!!!!!!
(tests that I pay to take.. pass OR fail..... and if I don't PASS, the whole school thing was just a big PHAT waste of time!!)

BUT - I choose to accept this task!
I WILL fight this task

I have a LIST of things to work on .....  not JUST succeeding at school - but a LIST of SEVERAL things that I choose to look at different.  A list of things that I'm about to tackle and WIN with the grace of MY GOD on my side!!!!
(that list will come in a later blog)
But after a VERY inspiring message T brought Sunday  (yes T - you never cease to amaze me, AND you never know how just what you say is ALWAYS ALWAYS just what SOMEONE sitting in that church needs to hear!)

Anyway ......
as for now - MONDAY - I'm back in the saddle in sooooooo many ways!!
BRING on the week..... BRING on life!!!

HAPPY MONDAY everyone!

I need a new boyfriend!

So I've only been married for four months right.

My first and ONLY marriage (yeah at 34....)

It's ME, Preacher T, my son Z (15) and T's two girls (8 & 11)

Before the wedding.... I had this idea of what life would be like once we were married.
Yeah.... I DO realize some of it was a bunch of fairy tale CROCK - but some of it, REALLY....
well - I guess some of it....   well - it's just been surprising.

Here's what I've got so far
The difference between my BOYFRIEND and being married.....

{{sidenote - this is a parody - LAUGH - don't take it too serious }}

my boyfriend brought me cards and flowers
my husband brings me..... ummmmm....... yeah....  a big long string of complaints about the house, the day, the kids etc

my boyfriend used to sit up all night with me talking and laughing
my husband is ready for bed at 8:00

my boyfriend told me all the time how much he loved me and why
my husband rarely sometimes remembers to say it before he passes out in bed

my boyfriend used to tell me how HOT I am
my husband loves to make fun of lovingly criticize everything I say and do

my boyfriend used to LOVE to hold me
my husband has to sleep facing the other direction cuz his shoulder hurts

my boyfriend used to wish he could spend the night with me so he could hold me all night
my husband gets too hot when I drape my leg across his

my boyfriend would come over and tell me how great the house looks
my husband comes in and says "What ELSE did you do today?"

and last but not least of the things that I CAN mention 
my boyfriend couldn't stop kissing me or keep his hands off of me
my husband fell asleep last night while I showered and proceeded to put lotion on myself BY MYSELF!

And men say WOMEN change after marriage.....
sheeeeeeesh!
Does anyone have a boyfriend I can borrow????  LOL

BUT

I love you T!!!  :-)

CUZ... you see....
I DO have the BEST husband  :)  I DO!!
it was my husband who let me quit my job so that I can focus on school (6 more months!)
and it was my husband who got me a pair of Miss Me (my FAVORITE) jeans for Christmas
and it was my husband who got me a PHAT Miss Me purse for our 1 year anniversary (of the night I fell in love) and he picked it out all by himself  :)
and it was my husband who rolled over and rubbed my shoulders this morning

and it was my husband who stopped and got me a blizzard last night without even having to ask me (or ask what flavor!!)
and it IS my husband that I watch deliver God's word EVERY Sunday morning
and it IS my husband that I admire because his big ol' heart is almost as big as mine!  ha ha
and it IS my husband who can ALWAYS make me smile NO MATTER WHAT


and... well..... he still IS the guy who gives me butterflies when he says "I love you"... not just the "hanging up the phone" or "going to bed" I love you's.  You know the one I mean... when your man looks you in the eyes and says I love you and you can see straight to his soul.  YEP - still got that.  :)

and YES honey.... I know you get hot at night and I know sometimes I'm mean and sometimes I have a bad day and I'm a big ol' cry baby!!!
So MORE than anything.... it's my husband who loves me for JUST WHO I am and JUST THE WAY I am!  and it's my husband who will still be holding my hand in our rocking chairs when we're 90 years old, sitting on the front porch making fun of all the people who have been a part of our crazy happy upside down world we live in!
I love you baby  ;-)
Now if I could just get him to put lotion on my back every night.
Come on - it's winter - it's like the Sahara desert over here!!!!!!!  LOL!

approaching the new year...

I have written about change before.. but I'm really pondering this subject the closer we get to beginning a new year.

We WANT growth and change.....but at the same time, there are some things that we want to NEVER change.
And it seems it's always THOSE things that change.

I don't have much more to say about this today............ just that I've talked to several people lately (myself included) that seem to be struggling with change... adjustment... just life.
Things we WANT to change.
Things that we never WANTED to change... yet they have.
Things we thought would last forever and they don't....

It seems that sometimes, we get ourselves into situations that we just can't break through and CHANGE.  A routine, a pattern, a habit, taking people for granted, taking things for granted.... when you feel like your banging your head against the wall trying to push forward, remember this:
Change sometimes means growth
and Change sometimes means..... letting go.  Walking away.

and sometimes through the midst of all of that.... you just feel lost.
Always trying TO change...
or trying NOT to change...
or trying to find that perfect happy life
trying to find our "heaven"
or even worse  - sometimes too busy trying to fit into someone else's "heaven"

Motivational Monday - on Tuesday!! :)

.... I've already been forewarned about posting this video....
YES, you might just think it's a bit cheesy
BUT - I will tell you....
NO - I will challenge you
Watch it.... watch the ENTIRE video and tell me it doesn't touch something inside you.
I can't watch it without crying
EVERY time.... I swear.
So moving.

The clip is from the movie "Facing the Giants"
it was a low budget movie and it wasn't advertised much... there is no one "famous" in it - so it's likely that you have never heard of it.
My son and I went to the theater to see it and I'm pretty sure if he could have gotten up and moved away from me during the movie, he would have.
and I'm SURE I looked like a HOT MESS coming out of that theater.....
But it's SUCH a moving, inspirational movie.

Anyway - the clip I have posted below is from the movie.  The coach is challenging one of the players to step up.  There are TWO important points to note in the clip.
#1 - the blindfold.  Coach makes him wear this during an exercise. 
#2 - the coach.  What a pivotal role he plays...




The reason this is so touching and inspirational for me is how practical it is to apply to our every day life.

The Blindfold.  How far do you think the boy would have gotten without that blindfold.  He would have set up his OWN limitations and never pushed himself to his FULL potential.  We do this EVERY day.  We all have hopes and dreams and things we want to accomplish.  But we're so busy looking around, setting up boundaries that we can't see ourselves to our FULL potential.

Put on a blindfold and stop worrying about what you can't do and just DO IT.  Don't let other people or things distract you.  If you want it bad enough and put your HEART into it - it can be done.

The Coach.  One word.   Inspirational.  The entire time he is pushing the boy, he is telling him "you can do it.  give me all you've got"  He's inspiring him and more importantly - he BELIEVES in him and tells him so the whole time he's pushing.   Some people have friends and family that play this role.  Some people are blessed with people in their lives that believe in them THAT much, no matter what the goal is.  If you do have these people, you are BLESSED and be very thankful for that.  Just remember, to someone, you are that pivotal person too. 
Push your friends and family.  Inspire them.  BELIEVE in them!!

Back when I was going to the gym (oh how I miss that), my trainer had us carrying a punching bag from one side of the room to the other.  I asked how many times and he said everyone so far had made it across the room 3 times.  So I PUSHED myself to do it 3 times.... it hurt like CRAZY and I was pretty sure I'd never make it.  BUT - everyone else had done it, so far be it from me to not try.
I did it.
And guess what - NO ONE had done it three times before me.  My trainer believed in me enough to PUSH me.  If he had told me one time, I would have done 1 time.
So anyway - Thanks David - I still remember that day.  Even though you may have told EVERYONE that - or you may not even remember - know that you inspired me that day.


And above and beyond everything else.... remember you have a God that created you and has BIG plans for you beyond what you can even imagine.  He is ALWAYS coaching you on and telling you and showing you how much he believes in you.  Don't overlook that.  Be thankful for that and use that constant believing in you to get you through every day and to reach goals that without him would be impossible!!

Relationships are a funny thing - all of them.

We constantly poison ourselves and just about every relationship we are in.
Friends.
Boy/girl friends.
Family...
and ironically - our relationship with ourselves.

We constantly find negativity and neglect and poison, your flavor of choice, and we just dump it all around us.  Those that we love are always the ones that get hurt the most.  Oh - we always have the BEST of intentions and there is always some justification for why we do what we do - but all we do is damage. 
all around....

Preacher T and I have been married for going on 4 months now.  Right?!! 
Interesting....
4 months is not that long.... I know....
and people are still saying "So, how's married life?"
Even more interesting...
It's kinda like the question "how have you been?"
do you REALLY wanna know?
I mean REALLY????
Do we just smile and nod and say "Great.  Life is Great.  I'm Great.  Everything is just GREAT"
Yep.
That's what we do.
Because no one wants to talk about the poison.

People are funny
Relationships are funny.
LIFE is funny
Some days in a make me laugh kinda way.... and some days in a I wanna punch you in the face kinda way!

I could smile and tell you how happy I am
or I could tell you how many times I've wanted to walk away

I could tell you how lucky I am
or I could tell you how some days it's just too much

I could tell you that it's all I thought it would be
or I could tell you - it's nothing that I dreamed of


I could tell you love and passion are enough
or I could tell you that some days they just aren't even close.

I could tell you how easy it is when it's TRUE love
or I could tell you how hard it is BECAUSE its REAL love

I could go on and on about the sweet kind loving words
or I could stop you in your tracks with the secrets

I could tell you how it's always about us and making each other happy
or I could tell you about ALL the other things that push US to the bottom

I could tell you how the plans we had are all coming true
or I could tell you how it's NOTHING like we planned.

I could lie either way.

Do you REALLY want to know?

What's your poison of choice and who are you pouring it on?
Yourself?