Single girl life!

Short blog..
After a long conversation last night about weddings and watching sex and the city AGAIN... I have had marriage on the mind alot today..I'll go on about that subject later....
But for now... I just wanna say, it's days like this and my wonderful girlfriends that make me happy and lucky to be single sometimes :-)
Just planned a spontaneous trip to Nashville for the day with one of the true loves of my life!!! ( one of my BFF's)
I love spontaneous trips!!!!!!
And tomorrow, she and I are heading to see the Titans!!!! This will be my first NFL game!
I love the weekends!!
~t@Mi G~
Sent from my iPhone

Famous one liners....at my house

I love inside jokes!  They are SOOO freaking ridiculous it's absurd - but not much makes me laugh harder!!!
Right now - the big thing going on in my house is.... 
"you don't wanna fight me...." (insert me screaming/rapping from one end of the house).....
and then...  "in my extra small white T"  (insert my son GANGSTA rapping from the other end of the house)
For those of you who DON'T know what I'm talking about - it's a Taylor Swift rap which I have graciously attached to this post!!!  I LOVE Taylor Swift - but the fact that she busted out a rap with T-Pain makes me love her even more!!!
Anyone standing outside my house would think we have completely lost it inside........but I LOVE stupid inside jokes......and who cares what anyone else thinks right?!?!!
Now whenever my son and I are out and someone talks about Taylor Swift or mentions the rap - I can't help but look at him and laugh and say "you don't wanna fight me".... 

Of course these jokes also come in REAL handy when I really AM mad at my son and I'm yelling and he looks at me and says "you don't wanna fight me!"   LOL
He defnitely IS my child!

Choose your friends wisely.... I have :)

I read this excerpt posted by a friend today by General Colin Luther Powell and began to think over my life and the friends I have made......those that are still around and those that I only talk to on occasion and those who were great - but were only passing through......
FIRST - I can not even begin to tell you how LUCKY I am for all the people in my life right now!!!  I have some of the best friends and family that a girl could ask for.....and I have had the privilege of spending time and getting to know so many people through out my life.

I would definitely describe myself as somewhat of a free spirit.  I know a little bit about a lot of things because I rarely say no to trying or learning something new!  Yes I have goals and places I want to be in life - but at the same time, I try really REALLY hard to enjoy each and every day of my life along the way.  Where ever the roads leads me I try to stay positive......and take time to enjoy those I meet along the way  :)

Along that journey - I have met some really GREAT friends who challenge me every day.... challenge me to be better, challenge me to look at myself as a strong independant woman, they challenge me to GROW and I think that is so important!  Every day should be some sort of learning experience in some way.....

So I just want to say thank you to all my wonderful friends new and old and those that have come and gone, for making me who I am today!!  And I want to thank GOD today for the wonderful family, immediate and extended, that I have been blessed with  :-)

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are.. Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.

Consider this:
Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere.
With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it.. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.


"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses."

The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad.

Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends. Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what.. Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above.

"In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends."

"Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them."

"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.."

Shout out to all the servers out there!!!

A friend of mine posted a really good blog tonight that I have swiped (with his permission) to share with everyone!  If you have ever waited tables - you will TOTALLY identify with this blog.... maybe you worked YOUR way through college, maybe you are working through now OR maybe, being a server is your livelihood - but regardless - you will appreciate the sentiment written below!  (I posted a lovely picture of me back in my server days - ha ha - that's my head poking out on the right in the back!  WOW!)
If you have NEVER served - please take the time to read this, understand and respect whats going on on the other side when you go out to dinner!!!

RESPECT your servers!!

Leave comments AND go find Greg and tell him you enjoyed the blog!   Shout out to Greg Almond from WUHU 107.1 FM Bowling Green KY!!!  (you can follow Greg on twitter @GregAAlmond and check out his blog via the link below!!! )
Thanks Greg - LOVE IT!!!!

http://allhitwuhu107.com/pages/1229288.php

Let me start out by saying that I have never been a huge fan of Oprah.  I feel that she has way too much influence on society for her position in life.  And by that I mean she is not an elected official, a minister, etc.  I do think she has brought some attention to serious matters and she has done some good with her celebrity.  But now she goes on her show on national television to tell her audience that to save money during the recession, they should only tip servers 10% when they go out to eat. 

Let's first forget that the she nor the majority of her audience is not feeling the effects of the recession.  Because that would only further undermind the credibility of her statement.  Let's instead look at the demographic of most servers.  For starters alot of them are college students or students of college age.  Let's not give them money to help pay for their education so they can be productive members of society.  And that the job market is so saturated that most degrees will only get you a job waiting tables these days.  There are also alot of servers working two jobs because they are working their way up in your career.  I myself am one of these people.  You may or may not know that I wait tables at a local restaurant on the weekends.  It's just something I have to do.  It's no biggie.  Also, lots of servers are people that are in between jobs, or people that can't find work anymore, or single mothers who work some days just to pay a babysitter.  Take all those people out and what do you have...the upper middle class and the rich, which SURPRISE!, you are part of Oprah.  I actually calculated the difference between the standard 15% and 10% and for the average check, it's about two dollars.  Two more dollars is not going to be the difference between you making rent but if everyone gave two dollars less, it could be for your server.  Just remember that.  And remember that the extra two dollars you are saving will probably go towards your Oprah's book club membership.

I also wanted to touch on the fact that I think I remember Oprah supporting Barack Obama.  I also must mention that I am too.  That doesn't mean I agree with everything he does or is going to do...that means I'm giving the guy a chance because I agree with most of what he says and I like that fact he's creating ideas to make a difference.  But the whole platform for the Obama campaign was Change, Hope, and helping out your fellow American.  Well what Oprah is telling the upper middle class to do is completely against what Obama is trying to do.  Obama is encouraging Americans to not be afraid to spend and Oprah is telling us to save.  Kinda contradictory don't you think?  Captialism is based on spending money to make money to boost the economy...I learned that in 8th grade by the way...and the almighty Oprah is putting forth an extremely conservative stance on how to deal with the economy.  Wonder if she just sided with Obama for the face time?  I also want to make the point that servers spend money too.  And here is a secret...if they have a good shift the spending usually happens that day or the next.  Shhh, don't let that get out. 

The most confusing thing is that Oprah comes from poverty, so you think she would have a heart for people busting their ass to make something out of life.  But I guess money casuses amnesia.  I wouldn't know.  I do know that the companies that give money to Oprah to have her hock their products on air are not hurting for money.  Amd I know that it's every server's dream to chase down a table and give them their tip back when they leave you a crap tip.  And I know that Oprah better leave me MORE than 15% if I ever wait on her table.

The rules....huh??!!

Speaking of gray........seriously - how hard and confusing does dating REALLY have to be??!!
I recently received an email with an excerpt from the book "Love must be tough"
I realized as I read through this list of rules - that between the 4 of us, me and my closest girlfriends - we have EXCEPTIONALLY broken EVERY rule on this list!

So I thought I would share it today!
What do you think about the list? a bunch of crap or true rules to live by??!
WHY is it soooo complicated?!
And when we truly meet the right person - do these rules really apply? I mean.... if you are meant to be together, you will no matter what - right?!!
OR maybe that's why I'm still single.... I'm not very good at following rules! HA HA

1. Don't let a relationship move too fast in its infancy. The phrase "too hot not to cool down" has validity. Romantic affairs that begin in a frenzy frequently burn themselves out. Take it one step at a time.

2. Don't discuss your personal inadequacies and flaws in great detail when the relationship is new. No matter how warm and accepting your friend may be, any great revelation of low self-esteem or embarrassing weaknesses can be fatal when interpersonal "valleys" occur. And they will occur.

3. Remember that respect precedes love. Build it stone upon stone.

4. Don't call too often on the phone or give the other person an opportunity to get tired of you.

5. Don't be too quick to reveal your desire to get married — or that you think you've just found Mr. Wonderful or Miss Marvelous. If your partner has not arrived at the same conclusion, you'll throw him or her into panic.

6. Most important: Relationships are constantly being tested by cautious lovers who like to nibble at the bait before swallowing the hook. This testing procedure takes many forms, but it usually involves pulling backward from the other person to see what will happen. Perhaps a foolish fight is initiated. Maybe two weeks will pass without a phone call. Or sometimes flirtation occurs with a rival. In each instance, the question being asked is "How important am I to you, and what would you do if you lost me?" An even more basic issue lies below that one. It wants to know "How free am I to leave if I want to?" It is incredibly important in these instances to appear poised, secure, and equally independent. Do not grasp the other person and beg for mercy. Some people remain single throughout life because they cannot resist the temptation to grovel when the test occurs.

7. Extending the same concept, keep in mind that virtually every dating relationship that continues for a year or more and seems to be moving toward marriage will be given the ultimate test. A breakup will occur, motivated by only one of the lovers. The rejected individual should know that their future together depends on the skill with which he or she handles that crisis. If the hurting individual can remain calm, the next two steps may be reconciliation and marriage. It often happens that way. If not, then no amount of pleading will change anything.

8. Do not depend entirely upon one another for the satisfaction of every emotional need. Maintain interests and activities outside that romantic relationship, even after marriage.

9. Guard against selfishness in your love affair. Neither the man nor the woman should do all the giving. I once broke up with a girl because she let me take her to nice places, bring her flowers, buy her lunch, etc. I wanted to do these things but expected her to reciprocate in some way. She didn't.

10. Beware of blindness to obvious warning signs that tell you that your potential husband or wife is basically disloyal, hateful, spiritually uncommitted, hooked on drugs or alcohol, given to selfishness, etc. Believe me, a bad marriage is far worse than the most lonely instance of singleness.

11. Beginning early in the dating relationship, treat the other person with respect and expect the same in return. A man should open doors for a woman on a formal evening; a woman should speak respectfully of her escort when in public, etc. If you don't preserve this respectful attitude when the foundations of marriage are being laid, it will be virtually impossible to construct them later.

12. Do not equate human worth with flawless beauty or handsomeness! If you require physical perfection in your mate, he or she may make the same demands of you. Neither of you will keep it for long. Don't let love escape you because of the false values of your culture.

13. If genuine love has escaped you thus far, don't begin believing "no one would ever want me." That is a deadly trap that can destroy you emotionally! Millions of people are looking for someone to love. The problem is finding one another!

14. Regardless of how brilliant the love affair has been, take time to "check your assumptions" with your partner before committing yourself to marriage. It is surprising how often men and women plunge toward matrimony without ever becoming aware of major differences in expectation between them.

15. Sexual familiarity can be deadly to a relationship. In addition to the many moral, spiritual, and physical reasons for remaining virgins until marriage, there are numerous psychological and interpersonal advantages as well. Though it's an old-fashioned notion, perhaps, it is still true that men do not respect "easy" women and often become bored with those who have held nothing in reserve. Likewise, women often disrespect men who have only one thing on their minds. Both sexes need to remember how to use a very ancient word. It's pronounced "no!"

16. Country singer Tom T. Hall wrote a song in which he revealed an understanding of the concept we have been describing. His lyric read, "If you hold love too loosely then it flies away; if you hold love too tightly, it'll die. It's one of the mysteries of life."144 Hall's observation is accurate. If the commitment between a man and a woman is given insufficient importance in their lives, it will wither like a plant without water. The whole world knows that much. But fewer lovers seem to realize that extreme dependency can be just as deadly to a love affair. It has been said that the person who needs the other least will normally be in control of the relationship. I believe that to be true.

17. There is nothing about marriage that eliminates the basic need for freedom and respect in romantic interactions. Keep the mystery and the dignity in your relationship. If the other partner begins to feel trapped and withdraws for a time, grant him or her some space and pull back yourself. Do not build a cage around that person. Instead, release your grip with confidence while never appeasing immorality or destructive behavior.

Where does selfish cross the line?

As a parent, you are generally expected to lose all of your "selfish" tendencies for your child - right? But what about the other areas of your life?!? When is OK to be selfish?
I consider myself VERY selfless when it comes to my son... for those of you who know him - you KNOW the poor child doesn't go without much of anything. As hard as life gets, come hell or high water, I make sure he is taken care of first. So that makes me a good mommy - right? A good selfless, put my child first mommy :)
NOW - let's talk about the rest of my life.
I spent alot of time with a very close friend this weekend and when asked, she described me as NOT being selfish. I had to argue that point.
Don't get me wrong - I don't go through life walking over people and not caring who I hurt along the way, BUT I have found, that as the years pass and I learn more and more about myself - I have become what I lovingly refer to as a bit selfish!
Let me explain...
I'm a giver by nature.... it's just who I am. I go through the day pushing myself to the limits to do just about anything and everything that I can do in order to make others lives easier or better in some way. I make sacrifices.
BUT - at the same time, there are certain times and things that I'm unwilling to compromise or give up. That's not to say that these things won't change some day and that in the right circumstances they couldn't be compromised.... but right now - as a single 33 year old mother with entirely TOO much responsibilities to get through most days.......I'm gonna hold on to my single girl selfish vices and if people judge me - they judge me!

So - my question for the night is: when is selfish crossing the line?
Is there a fine line you can walk in order to make others happy - while at the same time making yourself happy? (this is how I maintain my sanity!) ha ha
And if you walk that line and don't "cross over" - then is my friend right and I'm NOT selfish? Sometimes I worry about those qualities in myself...
AND - if you hang on to those "selfish" traits in your life - should that label you somehow as a bad person?
Or to come full circle.....does being a bit selfish make you not "datable?" I'm just curious about that because the older I get and the longer I'm alone - I think I tend to get more and more "selfish"
Hey - someone's gotta look out for me - right?!?!!

Unrealistic expectations

This is gonna be a short one because it's midnight and I have GOT to get some sleep, but I do want to throw this out there.......
I have been told on several occasions recently that I might have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating. I was told this by male and female! And at first I was completely thrown for a loop. BUT - through a LOT of talking and soul searching with one of my girlfriends this weekend - I am now beginning to question myself.
DO I HAVE unrealistic expectations??

I'm a pretty simple girl. I'm really easy to make happy. Love, respect, trust, adoration... are those things REALLY that much to expect and ask for?
Yes - I do joke about being high maintenance, and in some respects, maybe I am, because I have waited 33 years to be LOVED! And I guess I do hope that when I FINALLY meet my future husband that there will be fireworks! and I don't mean fireworks all the time, or immediately after the first date, and I don't mean that everything has to be perfect! BUT I do mean I need that feeling in your stomach thats all butterflies and nerves but at the same time - can't wait to hear from him again - kinda feeling!
I know that love and dating is not ALL sunshine, but don't you think that in the beginning - when things are the easiest that there should be some sort of romance and pursuit and I don't know, making plans based on what might make someone else happy?

I was also recently told that "chick flix" are what give women false expectations about dating... I also beg to differ on this point. I DO know that girls get all sappy and teary eyed over movies like "Pretty Woman" and "Sweet Home Alabama" and "Wedding Date" - but I can also tell you - that I don't think that living life as a hooker and having a millionaire falling in love with you is realistic or what women expect. I don't think women expect to pay for a HOT escort for a wedding and the man fall madly in love with them. As much as we love the movies, we KNOW this isn't REAL LIFE.
I WILL say this though : women DO expect a guy to call - ESPECIALLY when they say they will call; women DO expect a guy to make plans that involve them and are all about them from time to time; women DO expect to be treated with respect; women DO expect to be "courted". So sure - we HAVE expectations - but what makes them SO unrealistic????

One of my favorite lines from a movie is from "Wedding Date"
Kat Ellis: You know what pisses me off? I've been spilling my guts all weekend and I don't know a thing about you.
Nick Mercer: [pause] I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met.

I don't "EXPECT" a guy to QUOTE wedding date to me - I don't expect anyone to actually say that they would miss me if we had never met - but I DO expect a man to feel that way about me before I choose to let him in and spend the rest of my life with him.
is that REALLY so unrealistic? :(