Friday, February 17, 2012

Looking for an easy button..

Everyone focuses on that day when life gets easier.
Even as children we start to look ahead.. to when things will get "easy"
lower stakes
more reward...
Why do we strive for just that?
Why do we think we can't be happy until life gets EASY.
Why do we think that life will EVER be easy....

Why do we think that specific things will make life "EASIER"
more money
better job
more friends
better friends

What if life doesn't get easier...
What if life IS about the struggles.. what if that is "just life"?
what if life is just a series of days that sometimes seem easier and sometimes seem harder

I think we should work for the day that we realize that what we strive for..
is to be HAPPY.
NOT for things to be easy.

Strive for the day when you finally realize that....
There WILL be hard times
There will be days when you don't want to get out of bed
You heart WILL be broken
You WILL be let down
You will be disappointed
You will encounter people that do nothing but bring you down
You will be taken advantage of
You will treated like less than you are worth

And it will be hard
BUT it won't kill you!
.... through all of those things
all of those struggles
You grow stronger, you get smarter
And you finally realize

and you can only have that - when you allow yourself.

A friend sent me this quote today:
 "Everyone you meet comes with baggage.  Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack"

Surround yourself with people who love you
Surround yourself with family and friends and loved ones that are there for you....
not just looking for life to get easy.
Find the people that will hold your hand and give your their shoulder for when times get bumpy
Find the ones that will help you unpack.

Some might read this and think it's depressing, to admit that life never gets easy.
I however,  hope you find comfort in this.....
Because there is a relief in it all.
There is relief in knowing that you don't have to FIGHT to make things easier.
Instead you get to LIVE every day for what it is.
The good, the bad, and the ugly
And KNOW that it may not be easy today, but tomorrow it just might be.
Know that you don't have to FIGHT to prove anything or win any one's approval

You just get to LIVE.
And that my friends.... is easier when you aren't constantly TRYING to make it easier!
Stop waiting for things to get easy and just....... LIVE

I am very thankful for the lessons I have learned (most the hard way)
And I am very thankful that my life HAS NEVER been "easy"
It's been set into motion just as it should
And in the end, I can say that God has surrounded me with people who "help me unpack" when ever I need it!
That is all.

Friday, February 10, 2012

.... the end of an era....

or something like that!
I marked a milestone last night.
Closed a door...... that was actually closed already.  But I nailed it shut I guess
Sure did!
that ol' thing hanging in my closet collecting dust... with nothing but a SAD song to sing......  yep - NOW it will be HAPPY again!!
The little girl was so stinkin happy too- it was soooo sweet!!!
and she got a GREAT deal  ;-)
PAY it forward!

On top of that - I think I shared about the job already.  I can't put into words how excited I am about that.  It's a great opportunity for a multitude of reasons.  I am still a newbie in my profession and all.  I see this as a great learning opportunity... a chance to be exposed to things that I might not see otherwise.  Not to mention - I am ALMOST debt free and this is my step to put a nail in that door too!  Steps towards being completely debt free!
THAT is a huge milestone for me!!!!!!!!

Let's see........
ummmm - YEAH - I CAN keep going!!!

My boy tried out for a baseball team (not school - it's a traveling team) and we will find out Saturday if he's on the team or not!  HE is SOOOOOOO excited - so PLEASE say a prayer that whatever God has in store for him, we will be accepting and thankful for.  No matter what the outcome may be   (please make the team, please make the team, please make the team.......)

Did I mention the boy kissing?!  Yeah - he's fantastic.  Did I mention that I see GREAT things in his eyes??
So that is going great too!
I'm looking forward to a FANTASTIC weekend with him  :-)
YEP - Happy Friday!

OHHHHHHHHH - and for those of you who have been around for a while - remember the tattoo that I've been DYING to get for some time now.
WELL - I finally did it!  YAY me!  Got my back recolored and a new one on my wrist.   Here's the new one.   It's an L in the shape of a heart......for.....
my motto always!!!!!!  :)

It's funny how things come together when you STOP trying to fix everything yourself.
Put yourself out there.
Take chances
Hope for the best - and ACCEPT and be THANKFUL for whatever God has in store for you

DID I mention God has great things in store for me?!?!!!
NO MATTER what it is....
God's plan - not my own.


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

ding ding ding.... round 2!

So I've toyed around now TWICE with making my blog private.  ALL because of some silly silly person or persons that continuously display their unhappiness with their own lives with an insistent infatuation of stalking me and tossing around slandering lies.

Today - I looked up at the sky and literally said
"God - really?  I'm full!!!" 
(my friend KK can vouch for that!  She saw me!)

Call me what you will....... make up lies, do what you have to do.  I have thick skin!
My friends and people that know me....
#1 - don't look at stupid gossip websites anyway,
and #2 - if they do, they know me well enough to know that you are just making a total fool of yourself.
But this last one, this second round on topix has crossed a line for me.
My child was brought into the mix. 
I realize that you are questioning and slandering my abilities as a parent and making accusations that are just totally bogus, but hey - how about this dear "anonymous" mom of the year - do you REALIZE that you are putting MY innocent child in the middle of your web of unhappiness and lies!!!!
How mature and kind and considerate is that??!

I have never once in my life claimed to be a perfect person or a perfect mom - but I will tell you this - NO MATTER WHAT, my child is TAKEN CARE OF and DOES have positive upbringing and morals. 

So - today - I made my blog private and contemplated completely deleting my facebook page.
Then I got so frustrated with myself that I was allowing someone to have that much control over me.

And then I got an email.......   from my dear sweet JR.  **UPDATE**  She is home and recovering.  I am certain that she has a rough road ahead (and I want to be here for her!), and after thanking me for all the prayers (THANK YOU to everyone that read my blog and sent up prayers) she immediately asked where my blog had gone because she could no longer access it.
And I was once again (Thank you Lord) reminded - that no matter what the world throws at me, God is using me in some small way.
And for that - I am blessed.
And all of the ugly words and lies that you crazy people spread about me.... well - quite frankly - they melt away!
I will once again put my blog back up and promise with everything I have - that I will not let circumstances bring me here again.  I know the difference in real and fake, and those of you who are here for REAL reasons - I have more faith in you to know that you too know the difference in real and fake!!!!!

Shortly after I came to this realization today, my phone rang.
I had recently applied for another part time job - and guess what that phone call was for.
That's right
To tell me I got the job!  :)

Just remember - God knows how much you can handle and if we just trust in him and show a little patience, He will always come through!!!  :)

Put your gloves on - its ON!
With God on my side - who can be against me?! 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Calling in my little soldiers...

My heart is hurting tonight and I am asking for a small little favor from you all.
From all my bloggin buddies
From all my facebook buddies
From all of you I know in person
and all of you I have never met
From all of you who I know read on a regular basis
and from those of you who never say a word, but I know your there....

My heart is breaking.

I have been blogging for some time now.
And over the years, I have been blessed by reading
and even more blessed by writing and hearing your kind and personal words in return.

If you will remember, not too long ago, I was actually contemplating leaving my blog.
Circumstances occurred that caused me to second guess sharing my heart with you.
Lots of people wrote to me
and every single word made me smile and made me stronger.

Throughout my journey I have had the opportunity to share in many joys and many heartaches with you.
Tonight - I need to share a heartache

Back in my LAYOVER BLOG, I spoke of a dear sweet girl, "JR" who wrote to me and asked me not to stop writing.  She is one of the main reasons I pressed on rather than being defeated by negative experiences and negative feelings.
She is a very very sweet girl who has written to me on many occasions.  She has shared alot of her personal life with me and I have done my very best to hold her close and pray for her on a regular basis.

Sadly - I received an email from a friend of hers tonight saying that she has overdosed and they don't know if she will make it or not.
I do not know any more details than that.
I know life has given her a tough hand, and I know that just like ALL OF US, some of that is due to choices made by others and some due to choices she has made.  But when she writes to me, she shares her heart of gold.  One that is hurt and broken.

As of now, I do not know where she is or anything more
So I'm simply reaching out to each and every one of you tonight or whenever you might read this, to ask you.... as you read this blog, please PLEASE send up special thoughts and prayers for my little friend JR.... Prayers for her family, Prayers for her KIDS, and prayers for her friends....

I know that we all have bad days and need the strength of others to get through...
I'm sad to think that ANYONE gets to a point where they are so sad and feel they can't rely on support from someone else to get them through.
So tonight... tomorrow.... whenever, please please send all the prayer support that we can muster up!
I KNOW how big my GOD is!  Let's see if we can show JR how big he is too!

Thank you all!

Tami G

I kissed a boy...

I kissed a boy and I liked it!!!
 Too soon?!!

The stars just might have aligned and I just might have met a boy that I might just be crazy about  ;-)

Shhhhhhhhh - don't tell him yet  ;-)

I never expected to date again after the divorce - at least not for a LONG time!
And I really didn't expect to meet someone so soon.
And most of all - I didn't realize someone could make me feel so special  :)

That's all you get for now....
just a little teaser

Just know this - I am sooooooooo excited and happy and filled with anticipation...... and it's been quite some time since I could say anything like that with ANY regard to someone of the opposite gender!


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Oh to know it all...

Remember back when you were a teenager and you realized that you knew everything?! You had all the answers and no one could do or know better than you!!
You were invincible!!
And everyone, ESPECIALLY your parents were the stupidest, most uncool people you knew!!

Remember that far back?

Well I vacationed with one of those lovely teenagers this past weekend!  My dear sweet son.  Don't get me wrong - I love him and thank God for him EVERY day.  But when all was said and done - I felt the undying urge AGAIN to call my mother and apologize for being such an annoying, know-it-all, "you know what" when I was 16!  Sheeeeeeeew!

Aside from learning how stupid I am in my old age and how embarrassing I am - we REALLY had a great time this weekend!
I took Z man to North Carolina.  (for those of you who don't know - UNC is Z's favorite team EVER!)  So we went to visit the campus in Chapel Hill and went to the game Sunday night (which they WON - yay!)
We spent time Sunday afternoon just walking around the campus on our own.  Z was overwhelmed I do believe.  He plays baseball and I think seeing the actual field and the players scrimmaging was probably the highlight of his trip.  It was awesome!  :)

Here are a couple of the highlights of the conversations that were to be had while we were gone.

After a drive through Starbucks where I got us both a snack and coffee and hot chocolate respectively, I chipperly replied as a pulled away "Gosh I am just a ray of sunshine!"   (now mind you I just used a gift card to buy us treats at the MOST expensive place in the world to get coffee - that makes me in a good mood!)  My son then replied... "yeh - you HAVE been in a good mood.... which is rare.  Maybe you should go on vacation more often!"
WOW - I didn't realize I was such a drag!  :-/

What about when we got off the plane to head back to our vehicle to head home.  I had parked in long term parking.  But upon getting off the plane, I hurriedly jumped on a shuttle not realizing it was the shuttle to ECONOMY parking, NOT long term.  My son quickly pointed out my stupidity and that he knew all along we were on the wrong shuttle.  :)

Even through all of that though - the trip meant the world to me!!  More than anything I wanted Zack to see a campus and a baseball field and what his future could hold - I wanted to light a fire under him... and start a desire for what the world has to offer if he will only chase it!  (and push him in the direction to not make the same mistakes I made!)

OH to be young again and know everything.
I remember back when I knew everything.....  what HAPPENED to all that knowledge cause I SURE have made some monumental mistakes since then! 

I love you mom and dad and thanks again for making me who I am today!!!  (And I'm soooooooo sorry)

Most of all - I love my bi-polar, moody, eat me out of house and home, temperamental teenager! (and I pray every day for the road he chooses to pursue!)

Here's a few shots from our trip!

this is only the second time Z has been on a plane - he did pretty good!
The dome

the baseball field
Check it out - even the firetrucks are UNC blue!!!